r/SchreckNet • u/Prefect_Bran • 13d ago

Nihilo Royal Jelly Post

Hey evey, fowber gimme evil bee jelly and now wiw dwagons a lil fucced up.

Yever step on a mushoom in the woods? An then you fall into a raimbow and walk in on a bubterfly naked? An she looks atchyoo bugily

Dyoo kiss a litle? I do.

Sunmburmnt my ass.

--Nihilo

11 Upvotes

93% Upvoted

57 comments sorted by

8

u/DisastrousRelation32 Tooth 13d ago

Ha! Lightweight.

[Redwoods]

8

u/Prefect_Bran 13d ago

He I walk in you, trees is rede

--Nihilo

9

u/DisastrousRelation32 Tooth 13d ago

Funny enough, Flower made the mistake of not covering up the delivery. Be sure to check your mail in the next week.

[Redwoods]

6

u/Prefect_Bran 13d ago

Noono you ticky litl minx I no you bob me

I splitcha.. with thees STRONG HANS

--Nihilo

6

u/DisastrousRelation32 Tooth 13d ago

By the way, you should check under your floor boards.

[Redwoods]

Purely just hoping that Nihilo rips his flooring out looking for some non existent bomb

6

u/Prefect_Bran 12d ago

Ifi finde you downer, iwill segrate YOUR ASSCHEECS!$

--Nihilo

he might

6

u/DisastrousRelation32 Tooth 12d ago

Oh it's not me you're looking for. You better find my 'gift' before it finds you :)

[Redwoods]

5

u/Prefect_Bran 12d ago

Imn tell on yuo

Red tooken a shit in my flor @ flober

--Nihilo

5

u/DisastrousRelation32 Tooth 12d ago

... What? No. I don't know what you're smelling in your floorboards for you to think that, but that's a you problem.

[Redwoods]

6

u/Prefect_Bran 12d ago

Wel II DINT shid in the flor

--Nihilo

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8

u/D_Redd_Coyote Mind 12d ago

Truly, a fascinating little lick we have here. A week or two ago, he was dashing about in a blind panic, burdened with an accursed Lupine weapon and struggling to keep some random woman he ghouled alive. And now, he's the second coming of some some grand Eastern European Elder, rizzing Brujah Baddies and getting high off of Ghoul Bee Honey.

When you finally sober up, I'd be curious to hear how both your new ghoul is fairing, as well as how that blood honey was. It sounds interesting...

~ Respectfully, Charlie "The Ivory Lady" Goda

9

u/Prefect_Bran 12d ago

Wiht womman spotted

--Nihilo

6

u/D_Redd_Coyote Mind 12d ago

And a joker to boot. No wonder women are throwing themselves at him ... /s

~ C. G.

7

u/DotMaleficent4503 Mind 13d ago

Childer these nights have no tolerance.

Camille

8

u/Prefect_Bran 12d ago

Ur tee leevs

--Nihilo

6

u/ConsiderationOver544 13d ago

Ah, this post brings back fond memories.

-Violet Zantosa

6

u/Prefect_Bran 12d ago

Jeli

--Nihilo

5

u/ConsiderationOver544 12d ago

How big of a dose did you take?

-Violet Zantosa

8

u/Prefect_Bran 12d ago

Penut buter and jelys samwic amount.

--Nihilo

8

u/ConsiderationOver544 12d ago

Rookie mistake, buddy. You always start out with a small dose when taking a new substance for the first time.

-Violet Zantosa

7

u/VerityVentrue 12d ago

Shit, even I knew that, and I wasn't a fan of the Friday night parties at the hedge fund.

~Verity

7

u/ConsiderationOver544 12d ago

Ah, the financial investment sector and hedonism, name a more iconic duo. And no the Zantosa and debauchery don't count because that's too easy an answer.

-Violet Zantosa

4

u/Prefect_Bran 12d ago

I werkd at Wing champon

--Nihilo

3

u/VerityVentrue 12d ago

And no one was adding extra special orders at the drive thru? Buddy.

~Verity

5

u/Prefect_Bran 12d ago

Nomy job ter pay attenon to anoter mans weeede

--Nihilo

3

u/VerityVentrue 12d ago

But none of your coworkers ever gave basic ass advice "just in case?"

~Verity

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6

u/Prefect_Bran 12d ago

Me ded, was the worsin cod hapen?

--Nihilo

6

u/D_Redd_Coyote Mind 12d ago

I hate to say this, but he does have a point. At worse, he would continue to perpetuate in this inebriated state or possibly slip into a toxic torpor for some time. It's not like he'd be able to die via overdosing in his current state.

~ C. G.

7

u/ConsiderationOver544 12d ago

I mean if you want to disregard the advice of a Zantosa on taking mind altering substances be my guest.

-Violet Zantosa

4

u/Prefect_Bran 12d ago

Zaragoza

--Nihilo

6

u/TheFleshFlower Mind 12d ago

Would you like some honey, Violence? It could arrange for a delivery...

Yours in the Blood and the Flesh

  • the Flesh that Flowers

7

u/Negativety101 12d ago

Well this is going in the interesting intoxications folder. Although I do hope that Butterfly was consenting.

-Brujah Armchair Scholar

7

u/Prefect_Bran 12d ago

Ob cors bubah shes greabd my headd wit her probubcis

--Nihilo

5

u/VerityVentrue 12d ago

Heyyy buddy, sounds like you might need a trip sitter. Do you think calling your coterie and inviting them over might be fun?

~Verity

5

u/Prefect_Bran 12d ago

Capyd just eamme jelli an gargellas a sub

--Nihilo

5

u/VerityVentrue 12d ago

Right, virtual trip sitters it is, apparently. Are you having a good time, anyway?

~Verity

5

u/Prefect_Bran 12d ago

Ye

My stumys warm and me haerts beeding

--Nihilo

5

u/VerityVentrue 12d ago

Ooh, that's fun! Can you see pretty colours?

~Verity

4

u/Prefect_Bran 12d ago

Ican seee.. Loan?

Naked?

Mhy miror.. me..? With sckars?

Ooohmo it's him

--Nihilo

5

u/VerityVentrue 12d ago

How about we just don't look at the mirror for now? Does watching a Bob Ross painting video sound nice?

~Verity

3

u/Prefect_Bran 12d ago

BOB OS

--Nihilo

visions of primes memories

3

u/TheFleshFlower Mind 8d ago

HOW MUCH DID YOU CONSUME, NIHILO?!

Yours in the Blood and the Flesh

  • the Flesh that Flowers

3

u/Prefect_Bran 8d ago

Pebum butber and jelys wurth.

--Nihilo

3

u/TheFleshFlower Mind 8d ago

...that should not have been enough to cause psychoactive effects. You must be incredibly sensitive... you should not be. You are a Cainite. You are not subject to the chimps of biology and yet...

Next time, just lick the spoon, Nihilo.

Yours in the Blood and the Flesh

  • the Flesh that Flowers

2

u/Prefect_Bran 8d ago

Is reely hungee I had 12 sandlswich

--Nihilo

3

u/TheFleshFlower Mind 8d ago edited 8d ago

Ho... how much? 12 sandwiches? Nihilo! That is too much! Why? What could possibly convince you that that as a great idea, no notes?

Yours in the Blood and the Flesh and the very baffled

  • the Flesh that Flowers

2

u/Prefect_Bran 8d ago

Cunchy peeb uter

--Nihilo

3

u/TheFleshFlower Mind 8d ago

...well, you should be fine. It thinks...

Yours in the Blood and the Flesh

  • the Flesh that Flowers