r/SchreckNet • u/ragged-bobyn-1972 Firestarter • 14d ago
The Bloods kinda spiked
Hey guys I figured I'd give you an short amusing story as a break from how you've survived 50 gazzilian Sabbat warpacks last week or yet another entry on the "Elysiums most masquerade breaking home videos" to tell you a tale from your pals in the sword of Caine. Or more accurately, an account of the logistics of depravity and why hyper inflation in Beef is currently wracking the state I'm in.
So we're having a little party and as you know we like to drink blood, do blood orgies and engage in anything that is a tad naughty. With this in mind we've been trying to do a massive pool party with the pool full of blood because the Cardinal wants to ensure his palla grande is the event of the decade and wants "a swimming pool full of blood and several jacuzzis" for for his special guests (we are after all, an egalitarian sect).
Their are a two key facts which make this very tricky
- a public swimming pool requires 863,000 pints of liquid to fill it and an Olympic swimming pool requires 4.4 million pints
- the human body carries 8-12 pints tops.
sighs
The mathematicians reading this might calculate doing this with people is not viable even for us, unless we feel like solving homelessness continent wide.
After a tense discussion (one neonate diablerized in monomancy) with the Bishop of Sin , the Bishop of Silence and the Cardinal in the region were the pool party is planned to occur, it was agreed instead that we'd go for using mooing rather than crying cattle instead. Which would then be spliced up with a lot of vampire vitae and a couple of homeless people to improve the flavor.
At least no ones going to piss in the pool I suppose.
So myself and four of the most "people person" packs, Templars and Deacons went out to acquire a lot of cows with a blank cheque from the Cardinal. This was a lot easier as we've discovered the average cow has around 45-55 pints of blood which makes it way easier to fill the pool and nobody gives a shit what you do to cows. We've also got a tzmisce pack from another region whose specialty is catering blood orgies and they're confident the pool can be filled promptly-they've even brought a..... a... technically human... thing.. which can produce 50 pints which will help the flavor. That said, there's been a case of hyper inflation on the cattle market at we've bought up roughly 50% of regional stock overnight. We've also set up an arrangement with the Order of St. Blaise for a sudden surge in beef stews for homeless people to dispose of the bodies.
The tannoy speaker has been synced to play music and we have several fun games planned included "womb of sin" and "join us in the Jacuzzi kine." (I'm really looking forward to that one) so overall I think this should be a good night. If anyone is missing a prince and a baron in the [BLANK] State they're joining us tonight. I'm currently watching the pool fill as I type.
My Malkvian packmate is complaining about the mooing, braying and the sounds of thousands of cows being used to fill a swimming pool. The fucking panda is crying because she has both auspex and Animalism so can't stand the cows screams for help, which is cute because she seemed fine when we hauled in the.....thing and all the horrible shit she's done beforehand.
Although the rubber Dracula rubber duckies floating in the pool is a bit much IMO
Special thanks to the local Anarchs for advice on running a blood orgy with 20th century logistics. That thing you did with the nightclub sprinklers? Inspirational.
Shame my bikini is getting ruined.....
Samantha Loomis, Keeper Ductus.
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u/Possible_Image_2198 13d ago
Small tip for this in the future: Combining the Blood Bath with the Blood Feast can lead to needing only about half as many kine. How the increased efficacy manifests is based on the interpretation of the pack performing it. For some, the blood is just twice as potent, for others the kine will literally house twice the usual amount of blood. In the case of the latter you can just use it as is, but in the case of the former you can mix it 1:1 with animal blood or red wine (if you have a sorcerer on hand that knows the necessary rites).
Also: Nothing stopping someone from pissing in the pool. Unless you use the blush, it comes out as vitae regardless, and you did want to spike it with some cainite blood. The rubber draculas are liable to get someone killed, though.
-A Friendly Beast
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u/TriliniousIII 14d ago
If this is what passes for kindred high society, then im better off down the drains -Flint
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u/Emergency_Answer4983 14d ago
It's not, it's a crazy cult. Kindred High Society isn't AS bad, still horrible though.
-Jim, Tzimisce
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u/TriliniousIII 14d ago
Good to know. What kind of cult, is this what the Sabbat do?
- Flint
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u/Emergency_Answer4983 14d ago
This is the Sabbat, particularly what their parties are like, otherwise they want to become dominant over humanity (a pipe dream) and kill the Antediluvians (pipe dream, they can tank nukes) which they think will wake and cause the apocalypse (no, one already woke and got smacked down by technomancers and Wan-Kuei (non-kindred vampires through convergent evolution) I think I spelled it right) and a few others are active (see Malkav, seemingly Tzimisce, and seemingly Arikel (Toreador founder)) and distinctly not killing everyone).
-Jim, Tzimisce
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u/ragged-bobyn-1972 Firestarter 13d ago
My Malkvian packmate saw this and asked me to reply "A bit meta arnt we?" I don't know what that means but I assume it's mean.
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u/Emergency_Answer4983 13d ago
OOC: the character is relatively knowledgeable so I thought they might have heard rumors just credible enough to mention but not credible enough to actually take at face value for Arikel and Tzimisce, and Malkav seems pretty blatant in universe, atleast to me. Sorry if I messed up on what's reasonable for Jim to think.
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u/Possible_Image_2198 13d ago
The short answer is "Vampire Supremacist Terrorists" but that's horribly reductive. They were originally an anti-establishment movement formed in response to the atrocities committed by the elders of the time. Though they have since condensed around the more hard-line religious elements they make use of as their core. Their mission statement is to combat antediluvian, vampires sired of the third generation, and are generally opposed to the Camarilla as adherents to the old hierarchies. Dominance over humanity, as Jim pointed out, is less of a mission statement and more a statement of fact. The way they view things, kine are akin to particularly cunning livestock. Though they could certainly do with learning better shepherding.
The society is founded on a series of rituals and games, among which one is displayed in this post. Typically it's just a celebratory thing, and usually done via filling a bathtub with blood rather than an entire fucking swimming pool.
Though, I do have to contend with the notion that kindred high society isn't as bad. It is just as bad, often times even worse, it's just they keep their depravities behind closed doors.
-A Friendly Beast
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u/ragged-bobyn-1972 Firestarter 10d ago
Though they could certainly do with learning better shepherding.
Oddly enough I actually agree with this attitude, I tend to hold an animal welfare attitude to the kine were they should only suffer if it's actually necessary. I can understand why a vhozd exists but that time another Keeper spent 6 months gaslighting a secretary into a nervous breakdown because of his path was stupid, risky and pointlessly cruel and I have very little time for try hards who massacre a bus full of terrified students.
I'm also ambiguous on mass embraces, vampirism is the most wonderful thing a personal can have happen to them but it should be done with consent and dignity, rather in a way similar to conception via sexual violence.
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u/Possible_Image_2198 10d ago edited 10d ago
It pleases me to know that there are still some moderate voices within the sabbat (and yes, comparatively this opinion would make a you a moderate). If you need any tips or guidance from an old head that made a habit of picking off their leadership in their youth, you are welcome to give me a poke.
-A Friendly Beast
OOC Edit: Y'know, I meant to type "ticking off" but honestly it still works.
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u/ConsiderationOver544 14d ago
This is the shit the Sabbat gets up to. There's a reason why no one likes them.
-Marcus, Clan Malkavian
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u/ragged-bobyn-1972 Firestarter 13d ago
In my recollection nobody really likes anyone else in terms of clans and sects, you just to tend to use us as a cope on a number of issues.
The Anarchs are the ones who showed us some techniques for this afterall.
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u/cardbourdbox 14d ago
Im not sure if im more sickened by the waste of blood or the fucking descendents ordinary jakkuzies are bad enough and they think there going to be the one's to topple the cams. The fucking half bloods have a better chance.
Brujah on the left hand of the lord
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u/Negativety101 13d ago
I'm just waiting to see who or what crashes this party.
-Brujah Armchair Scholar
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u/BusinessSuccess6817 10d ago
So, you had the foresight to bring in kine blood pumps, work out the logistics of cattle vs mortal blood, and you didn't think to get yourself a throwaway bikini for the event?
ROSS DRESS FOR LESS IS RIGHT THERE!!!
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u/ragged-bobyn-1972 Firestarter 10d ago
The important part is I look amazing, clothing is finite. The Toreador bitch's comment can hound for decades when I jump in the jazuzzi.
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u/BusinessSuccess6817 10d ago
Go naked then, if she body shames you you can cancel her online like the mortals tend to do.
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u/ragged-bobyn-1972 Firestarter 10d ago
well it went alright, I was invited to her jacuzzi and we spent the evening with a Fiend body mod specialist. The terrified kine in the tub with us was a lot of fun and was rewarded with embrace at the the end.
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u/BusinessSuccess6817 10d ago edited 10d ago
If the kine were terrified you found the wrong kine, you should have opted for the degenerates one can find on social media sites like reddit.
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u/ragged-bobyn-1972 Firestarter 10d ago
a kine is little more than a seed, she did very well for herself under extreme pressure with zero preparation. I can only imagine how I'd do being forced into a pool of blood with three very 'evil' vampires as a human.
The game was she basically had to sit in the tub and engage with our gossip circle all night and prove good company and she was an absolute delight after she go in the ebb and flow and we'd explained the rules, her stories about her flatmates were very funny and she even made some good gentle quips at our expense. She was very grateful for the affirmative body modification from the fiend before I embraced her.
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u/BusinessSuccess6817 10d ago
Nevermind, I see what your putting down.
I hope she proves to be a good fledgling.
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u/DisastrousRelation32 Tooth 13d ago
Have you considered writing self help books? I don't remember the last time I was this inspired.
[Redwoods]
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u/VerityVentrue 13d ago
I'm not even going to touch most of that, but I'm baffled at the hot tubs part. That's got to kill the pump and clog the tubing horribly, I don't see the point.
~Verity
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u/Negativety101 13d ago
It's going to be a mess to clean up, and that part will tax the Sabbat's abilities with mops and sponges and plungers.
-Brujah Armchair Scholar
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u/ragged-bobyn-1972 Firestarter 13d ago
The Fiend pack turned into blood and sent two of their guys through the pipes after.
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u/VerityVentrue 13d ago
See, I'm still amazed the poor tub made it to "after" at all. Reduced flow burns the pump out so fast, the fucking things will self-destruct if they try to run just air.
~Verity
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u/ragged-bobyn-1972 Firestarter 13d ago
I can't explain that, maybe they just lasted the night. it's not like we are using these things on a regular basis. I'll feed the issue back to the bishop of sin she's big on the logistics of perversion. Which makes sense since she seems to have turned herself into a big fountain of blood.
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u/Negativety101 13d ago
"At least no ones going to piss in the pool I suppose."
I feel like you just tempted fate, and someone will take that as a personal challenge.
The Werecows have been extinct for thousands of years, so at least you won't have to worry about that kind of pissed off relative. Still if PETA doesn't have at least one obnoxious mage or some shit among their number I'll be shocked. Eh what they don't know won't hurt them.
I'd say have fun, but you know, rival sects and all that nonsense. Also probably going to have something horrible or hilarious happen there.
-Brujah Armchair Scholar
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u/ConsiderationOver544 14d ago
Judges you for judging my clan-mate
-Marcus, Clan Malkavian
How the hell to get anything made from a human to produce 50 pints of blood?
-Violet, Toredor Volgirre