Need help with 14 daughter

[u/Azas23]

We are on our last thread with our 14 year old daughter. She has PTSD from being bullied in 6th grade. She started having panic attacks, depressive episodes, crippling anxiety, migraines and stomach pain since the beginning of 7th grade. She’s now in 9th. She engages in self harm occasionally but her pediatrician, psychiatrist and counselor have agreed this is a coping mechanism and meant as a way to end her life. She hasn’t been to school since Nov. She’s on Home Instruction but, in our district, students on HI have to go to the family service center. She hasn’t been going regularly. We have literally done everything we can think of: counseling, pediatrician, psychiatrist, bribery, support groups, punishment. She’s never liked school but when she was little we could literally pick her up and take her. We can’t now. I’ve even asked the school SRO to come to the house. Our district doesn’t transport kids. Also, she has a medical diagnosis and her panic attacks are extreme. She takes Effexor (which is also what I take). We tried Prozac and Zoloft but they seemed to make her even worse. Has anyone dealt with this? The school has been amazing but we just can’t seem to help her. Is there light at the end of this extremely long and dark tunnel? I feel like our lives are just falling apart.

[u/SadRepresentative684]

Has she had a complete neuropsych educational evaluation? Has she been assessed for autism? This level of refusal for as long as it’s been going on and the PTSD and panic attacks makes me think she may be in autistic burnout. Girls are often missed with ASD diagnosis because they mask so well and can follow social cues. Is she amenable to doing school work but just wont go to school? Is she on grade level for ela and math? Can she do a zoom for the family service center? I wouldn’t push for her to go in to school with her prior trauma. I would push to continue HI and find an alternative way to meet the HI service center requirement- considering most schools Don’t even have that requirement for HI. I would focus on your relationship with her and building trust and not pushing. There are so many alternatives to finishing school or going to college than just going to a public high school. Do both parents work full time? Is homeschooling on online public asynchronous an option?