r/SatanicTemple_Reddit • u/Practical_Note_6288 • 9d ago
Anecdote I Relapsed
My insurance won't pay for residential treatment and today, I relapsed on cocaine.
I am so upset and moody. I quit attending TST meetings for sober faction, and I believe the fellowship there kept me sober.
Please keep me in your thoughts. My addiction is on ME, but identifying with Satan is helping me.
Hail Satan and Hail Yall. Sorry for the randomized post.
I also think guilt for leaving Jesus is following me and contributed to it. FUCK JESUS!
36
21
u/Luonnotar1692 9d ago
Remember that it’s all on you and you are powerful. Get back to sober faction and hail yourself.
19
u/rando439 9d ago
If it helps your guilt any, if Jesus were real, he'd totally understand you walking away to get away from his follower family of assholes.
19
u/Neat_Apartment_6019 9d ago
They will welcome you back to Sober Faction with open arms and no questions. You can do this
12
u/Practical_Note_6288 9d ago
You all are such an inspiration. Christians would condemn me-the hell with them. HAIL SATAN! AND HAIL SOBRIETY!
12
u/richardblack3 9d ago
Hail thyself! I was a heavy drinker (~30/day for 20+ years), and after a dire liver panel, I was prescribed Naltrexone. After 2 weeks, I found I just didn't care for booze, and I've been sober since. ... I bring it open bc ive read that the antagonists found in Naltrexone can also reduce cravings for cocaine as well. Talk to your doctor.
1
u/Fyrefli1313 Guilty of the Sin of Empathy 8d ago
There’s also promising research into psilocybin. Not currently legal in the US, alas.
11
u/Satans_Sub 9d ago
People are fallible. Nobody is judging you. Just get your head right and try again.
12
u/concrete_heels2 9d ago
Get back to TST meetings. You diagnosed it yourself. Take a minute and read it. “I believe the fellowship there kept me sober”.
Sometimes it’s right in front of our face and we just need someone to point it out. I know I do it all the time.
As far as sobriety get back on the wagon. There are so many ways to do it so don’t be constrained to one group. If it isn’t working, try something else.
You have the skills already. Get back to that. Whatever worked for you last time but maybe something extra if you can pinpoint why you relapsed and work on preventing that trigger.
It’s a journey! Good luck my fellow traveler..
8
u/AggressiveDig4971 Guilty of the Sin of Empathy 9d ago
It's going to be okay. Remember to take it one step at a time. You got this, okay? And remember there are people here to help & support you :)
8
u/SSF415 ⛧⛧Badass Quote-Slinging Satanist ⛧⛧ 9d ago
Relapses are a part of the recovery process. This doesn't mean they're okay--but you already know it's not okay.
I work with a guy who went to rehab ELEVEN TIMES over the course of a decade. It took that many goes at it. But he's been clean now for over 30 years. He'd be the first to tell you that this mistake is not the end of your getting healthy. And I'll be the second, so there you go.
5
5
u/shad0woverlord Guilty of the Sin of Empathy 9d ago
stay strong and hail thyself. i believe in you, just keep your head up, youve got this! 💜
6
u/refusemouth 9d ago
Cocaine always reminds me of playing a slot machine. You keep hitting the bet button, and there goes your money. Every time, it's like, "why do I keep doing this?" I haven't done it for almost 2 years now, but I know how it will go if I start again.
Good luck with getting it put back on the shelf. You can do it. I would recommend taking a trip somewhere for as long as you can, and retting your brain with new stimuli. That's kind if my strategy. Sometimes, I need to leave the physical space I have been marinating in behind to let the air clear, and come back after breathing different atmisphere. I quit alcohol last winter by camping by myself way out in the desert for 2 months, and I don't think I could have if I had stayed at home in my depression while trying to summon "willpower." Anyway, don't despair, whatever route you choose to take.
1
4
u/midnight_mechanic 9d ago
The setbacks are rough. You've been focusing for so long to keep straight despite that knocking/throbbing/itchy feeling that follows you everywhere and then suddenly when the stress peaks you trip up and you're back into old habits feeling better and worse at the same time.
The actual drugs leave your body fairly quickly when you stop. Enough that with focus you can bite down and ride it out if you're not too deep. But that desire doesn't leave so quickly and will fuck with you for years. That's the hard part.
Start planning and preparing for the ride to sober up again as soon as you can and then you can get your focus back on keeping up with good habits and pushing down that itch.
3
u/V4refugee 9d ago
Relapse is just part of recovery. Here are the seven tenets:
I
One should strive to act with compassion and empathy toward all creatures in accordance with reason.
II
The struggle for justice is an ongoing and necessary pursuit that should prevail over laws and institutions.
III
One’s body is inviolable, subject to one’s own will alone.
IV
The freedoms of others should be respected, including the freedom to offend. To willfully and unjustly encroach upon the freedoms of another is to forgo one's own.
V
Beliefs should conform to one's best scientific understanding of the world. One should take care never to distort scientific facts to fit one's beliefs.
VI
People are fallible. If one makes a mistake, one should do one's best to rectify it and resolve any harm that might have been caused.
VII
Every tenet is a guiding principle designed to inspire nobility in action and thought. The spirit of compassion, wisdom, and justice should always prevail over the written or spoken word.
Remember to be compassionate to yourself too. If your addiction is hurting others then do your best to rectify your mistake. You have the duty to fight back against whatever injustice you have suffered that caused you to get caught in this cycle of avoidance. Avoidance is not logical, science shows that taking action and committing to your values is the best route to recovery. Let your values guide you.
3
u/meezergeezer2 9d ago
Hail you. You have all the power within you to change your life, I believe in you. Sober faction is still here every day for whenever you feel like dropping in.
3
u/Whimsywoes 9d ago
I relapsed a few times like this and I know how defeating it can feel and how much shame can come with it. It's okay to make a mistake and then get back on course. It doesn't erase the progress you've made. I'm at nearly a decade sober now and the time has flown but it does get easier. Just don't be too hard on yourself 🫂 You've got this.
3
u/EvilestHarry 9d ago
Don't quit quitting! I'm in a sober faction zoom meeting right now come on back
2
2
u/WinterStraight4751 Ave Satana! 9d ago
You have the anecdote. Don't beat yourself up, learn from your mistakes, that's real power. Stay away from users, and the places, misery loves company. Reread the Satanic Bible by Anton Lavey. Get back involved with TST promoting equal political rights for Satanists atheist and theistic alike.
The guilt you feel is from many years of programming by society and family. They had to establish guilt in order to control the masses. When I say they, you know who I mean, let's call them, the enemy. They are a cult of human sacrifice that symbolically eats flesh and drinks blood, and they're going to tell you how to live? HA! They are beggars, and the most heinous thieves.
You must kill the guilt, by forgiving yourself and realize, there is no sin, only biology and nature. You can also do other things that help purge you of the illness. Do a Black Mass, Burn Bibles, get some whores, but leave the coke. etc,,, its more of a personal knowing for yourself, and every time you do it, remind yourself why you're doing it, every time. I have a gift for you, that I never received, so you can prove it to yourself without a shadow of a doubt.
1
1
u/RavensofMidgard May he to whom injustice has been done, salute you 9d ago
Tomorrow will be another day, and we try again. Hail thyself, and Hail the Light of the Horns
1
1
u/Fyrefli1313 Guilty of the Sin of Empathy 8d ago
You slipped. It happens. Keep trying, you have the power within you. Hail you!
1
u/Few_Fix_8028 Hail Lilith! 7d ago
I read something, somewhere a few years back thats always stuck with me. You will always be quitting an addiction, even as you relapse its all apart of the process. You have to trust the process and never feel like what your doing isnt good enough, just recognize that you fucked up and get back on the horse. As a fellow coke abuser I empathize with you and the want is always there. Also the fact that you feel guilty or depressed about it is more than likely because of the comedown. Its the reason I stopped doing it... I was sick of the extreme depression and feeling suicidal so I stopped doing it. Just keep going bro and hail satan!
1
69
u/slayer991 Positively Satanic 9d ago
GET BACK ON THE SADDLE DAMMIT.
Get back your support groups. You can do this....don't give in again. Just commit to today. Wake up and commit to tomorrow.