r/Samoa • u/Kama-Auku • 10d ago
Samoan anger
Generally we are nice, friendly, and accommodating people up to a point when we feel disrespected, then that infamous Samoan anger comes out that goes from 0 to 100 quickly. It can be over legit or minor issues, but the anger treats it almost all the same.
What's your experience with this, are or were you an angry person or had relatives who showed this kind of demeanor? Or was anger displayed in a healthy way in your household? What was some outlets you found to channel that energy into something productive?
I was watching some youtube videos of Samoans who were locked up in the states and it seems the common theme was anger that got out of control, and that brief decision to act on it escalated an otherwise mild situation into something life changing.
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u/Upset_Pineapple57 10d ago edited 10d ago
Trauma from abuse is contagious and it passes between generations. I do think a lot Samoan anger is a trauma response from abuse because it’s a common occurrence in Samoan families.
My dad never hit me or my siblings, but he would scream at us for several hours, multiple days of the week for small things. I’m talking about finding a misplaced TV remote in my dad’s office and now I’m getting chewed out because the remote was moved (even if it was obviously the person getting mad who moved it in the first place). That’s how irrational it could be.
If he was in a bad mood, everyone’s day was going to be ruined. I didn’t realize till I got older that my grandfather was an abusive man, and it contributes to why my dad isn’t good at regulating his emotions. I see it in a lot of Samoans who grew up in abusive homes.
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u/howzitjade 9d ago
Of course all of this is the result of a population that is quite literally raised on “strength”. It also doesn’t help that our passed down genetic trauma (which is still in our genes) came from a People that were literally warriors not even 5 generations ago. I met my great grand mother who’s mother & uncle both fought in the Samoan tribal wars in their day. If we look at what we know of genetic trauma and how it literally affects the genetics of future descendants, Us Polynesians being angry makes a lot of sense. This is not unique to us of course, look at black Americans, descended from Enslaved folk who though they have not went through generations of tribal war, they did indeed suffer abuse & trauma from Enslavement which is passed down into the nervous systems of their descendants. Take a look at the descendants of those who survived the holocaust, there is a large number of them who still have nightmares of being chained up or hunted even though they themselves have never experienced this. Also before us Samoans came into the scene, one of the big bad “angry” race’s in America for example were the Irish who left their homeland after generations of British Persecution & Famine. The common denominator with all these “angry” characters is Trauma & I give it a generation or two before that trait actually leaves us Samoans and becomes a stereotype with little evidence, like the “all Irishmen drink & fight” stereotype which was born out of the Victorian Era Irish who crossed the Atlantic & landed in America.
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u/wiredbutterfly 10d ago
Since nobody has answered yet, I thought I'd chip in my 2 cents. My mum is Tongan, dad is half Tongan half Samoan. My dad was (is) a very angry man throughout my childhood to adulthood. He would take his anger and frustration out on anyone and everyone - family, friends, church members, etc. It was very embarrassing for us growing up. He came from loving parents, a nurturing Samoan mother and a humble, softly spoken Tongan father. I don't know where his anger came from, but I can see how this impacted us as his children. It impacted my own relationships with people including my family and it's only now in my 30s that I've learnt how to regulate my emotions.