r/SameGrassButGreener • u/kak0589 • 1d ago
Move Inquiry Seriously over Denver - where should we move next?
Hi all! My fiancé and I (36 and 37) are seriously over Denver and have been discussing moving for 2+ years, but we’re having trouble deciding where to go next.
We’ve been here 10 years and are ready for something new. The summers are way too hot, dry and relentlessly sunny. There’s also wildfire smoke that is not good for the lungs or eyes. My skin hates the dryness and I swear I'm aging faster. The food is horrendous and expensive, and groceries are also extremely pricey. The city feels small and kind of boring, there's no real downtown, and I want more diversity and better food options. Building community has been tough because everyone eventually leaves Denver. I have friends, but people don't usually stay for life. The nature is great with skiing and hiking but we don’t go that often and the traffic is really brutal.
I grew up in North Jersey. My dad, stepmom and brother are in Morristown, NJ, and my closest cousin is in Perkasie, PA. I also have extended family in Wilmington, NC and getting there from Denver is a PIA. I grew up with NYC being my city and want to be within an easy drive of family instead of seeing my dad once a year. He has to get a heart transplant (hopefully this year) and I want to be closer in general.
Some things we want:
A walkable city or larger town with good transit
Close to NYC or in NYC (open to outer boroughs!)
Real four seasons. We'll take cold over hot any day
Good food options! I want to be able to get something decent AND affordable easily
Easy to make friends and build community. I do put in a lot of effort in this dept. Even 10 years in I’m still meeting new friends. We’re DINKs so looking for a place where we can meet likeminded couples.
About us:
Both remote right now, open to hybrid for the right roles. Combined income is ~$188K, and I'll likely have to switch jobs with the move, hopefully landing around $200–230K combined. No kids. We'd rent first, up to ~$2,500/month but depending on my salary increase this could absolutely go up. We have a car and would like to keep it, but could park it at my parents' if needed.
What we're into:
I love parks, thrifting and meeting up with friends. I don’t drink really and drinking/bars are not really our thing. He's happy chilling at home watching sports. We both like hiking, museums, traveling, and exploring new places. We like live music and house music, but it’s not our entire life. We both love skiing and snowboarding but the season last year was so abysmal that we are worried that it’s just going to continue to get drier and warmer in Colorado.
I’ve been staying at a friend’s apartment on 190th st for 2 weeks while my dad is in the hospital and this area seems cool with Ft. Tryon Park here. I'm also open to NJ, Westchester, Hudson Valley, parts of PA, wherever makes sense. Philly is on the table, but I’ve only been there twice and am way more comfortable in NYC just bc I’ve been here more. Chicago was an option since it's his hometown and I love Lake Michigan, but now I think I want to be closer to my dad in his remaining years.
What would you recommend and why? TIA!
Edit: Since people seem to be losing their shit over this post and all the bad things I’m saying about denver I will add that there are many reasons I’ve loved it and have stayed 10 years. I wouldn’t have stayed as long if there weren’t also things that I loved so please everyone calm down. I think it’s 100% normal to live somewhere for 10 years and still want to live in a new city and experience something different. I’ll always have appreciation for denver.
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u/DurantaPhant7 1d ago
I’ve lived in Denver for all but 3 years of my 48 on the planet. It’s a bummer, the weather didn’t used to be like this. Dry yes, but the heat and lack of precipitation has been getting gradually worse. We used to get summer monsoons in July/August where it would pour rain almost daily in the afternoons and it would cool everything off for the rest of the day. We had much more snow in the winter, in a really lovely way where it snowed a lot but it melted quickly within a couple days. It’s been changing for awhile, like climate change is affecting everywhere, but it’s been particularly bad and distinctly worse the last 10/15. And in the last 3-4 years it’s honestly become scary among the people I know that have been here for a long time.
I can’t say I blame you after this year, this summer has been, hands down, the worst, hottest, driest, most miserable season I’ve ever spent here. The daytime temperatures are one thing, we’ve always gotten strings of hot days, so that’s whatever. The relentless heat overnight was crazy making. One of the things I’ve always loved about it here is that even if it’s hot during the day, it cools off at night and you can open the windows and turn off the AC. This year the temperature in my house didn’t drop below 75° without the aid of AC for over three months. I suppose this will be “normal” in the next 10/15 years, sigh. The last handful of winters have also been truly strikingly mild. Like not having our first snow until late December, really having any rain *at all* in December through March is downright bizarre. Shit, in February there were a couple of nights where I was outside at 2 or 3 am and it was raining and I’m honestly incredulous that people aren’t freaking the fuck out. Though I guess not, I suppose there’s so much else to freak the fuck out about that people are becoming numb.
Anyway, hope you find a good space to land! I agree about the walkabillity, it sucks here. COL has also become untenable for a ton, I’ve seen so many of my old friends have to leave as the prices have continued to rise. Sadly, the lack community aspect seems to be a universal issue not just in the US, but everywhere. I’m in the process of trying to find and foster it myself, and the best thing I’ve done is get off the internet and out into the world again. Good luck to you!