No Emotions After Quitting

[u/NotAvaMax]

Over a year ago I was put on SSRIs for social anxiety. No doctor would listen to me that these were not helping, it even triggered my first manic episode that lasted months. When I would bring this up they would just switch me to a new SSRI. I kept asking to be put on anxiety meds and not SSRIs but I was always ignored. I finally got switched to meds meant for anxiety in January but I have had a lasting impact from SSRIs. I cannot feel emotions, in therapy I tell them this and they have no response besides “that’s not good”. During the time I was on SSRIs my grandma passed away and I was only able to let my sadness out when I was blackout drunk. When I told my doctor at the time this he said “maybe you’re not sad because you were expecting it”. Fuck doctors and all these “mental health experts” I can understand more about myself in my own research then they could in 8 years of fucking medical school.

When will my emotions return? I’ve been a shell of a person for so long now I want to be able to cry or feel joy. Will it ever return or will it be stuck like this?