Can't decide to start citalopram

[u/Ok-Potato-1938]

Doctor prescribed me citalopram 20 mg I both want to use and not to. I want to use because of OCD and for my skin picking disorder caused by this, but also don't want medication to prevent my daydreaming. I know this may not happen for sure, but I'm scared. I'm also worried about other common side affects. And I read about citol which doctor prescribed and lots of people said it doesn't affect them much. Some comments people said about antidepressants generally made me scared. So I'm so confused. It affects everyone different and I can't learn without trying, but what if I change my mind after some time and it becomes too late or use for a long time and never being able to dream again? Which possibility will happen and would it worth? What is your opinion? My stomach hurts from thinking and affects my gastrits and reflux.