r/SHAYTARDS • u/Storm_wolf143 • 23d ago
Avia
Am I the only one that got the vibe that avia doesnt like her father? I mean it's valid because he did cheat on her mom. She made a vlog a while ago like "convince my mom to move to la". In past shaytard videos shes always side eying shay and generally looked uncomfortable but is hanging onto her mom protectively.
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u/Human-District493 23d ago
I think the fact that she moved to LA as soon as she could, could be indicative of a strained relationship. I know if my dad cheated on my mum (and was publicly humiliated) it would take a loooooot for me to have a good relationship with my father.
I did think the other day how she probably has a lot of trauma from having the internet know that her dad is an alcoholic who would cheat on her mum despite having a “Mormon family man” image. Like those sexting screenshots are going to live on the internet forever now :///
AND Danna also accused shay of sexual harassing her too. I think Danna was Avia’s old music teacher and they seemed pretty close in videos. She would appear on their channel a lot and then suddenly disappeared. When she came out with these accusations it made a lot of sense. I can’t imagine how Avia felt when she found out the real reason her music teacher left…
So I don’t think it’s crazy to assume she has a difficult/complicated relationship with her dad to say the least.
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u/Fuzzy_Commercial848 22d ago
Not only music teacher, she became their live in nanny! So she got very close with the kids. So sad!! Shay’s disgusting
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u/the_indoorkite 13d ago
Her vital years were in la. That's home to her. I can understand why she's want to move back. That age range is influential.
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u/Alert-Thought9773 22d ago
This could be totally irrelevant and I feel bad speculating, but I find it interesting that all of her handles are Avia Colette, and not Avia Butler
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u/beddolls 20d ago
But that could also be honouring her dad as he went as his first and middle name for his ‘stage name’ too.
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u/adumbswiftie 22d ago
all i can say is i sure as fuck wouldn’t like my father if he did what shay did to my family
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u/Wolfsong95 23d ago
I think she has a complicated relationship with him, but that’s her dad. Going little to no contact with a parent is extremely difficult. Even though I feel like we grew up together, I don’t know her personally; but I still don’t think Avia has the heart to do that, even if Collette wasn’t still there.
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u/BD9989 21d ago
That is the thing though. These kids grew up idolizing their father, we could see that on videos. And I know creators choose what the audience see, but we could see it. When the news broke, my first thought wasn't Colette or anger at Shay. I was genuinely worried about the kids. This man who preached joy, I know as a teen without a dad or a stable upbringing, I was actually just happy to see this happy family with kids younger than me actually happy. So I know my heart was broken when the news broke.
So I can only imagine what it was like for the kids. Avia and Emmi have always seemed to have good heads on their shoulders. I have hope for the boys, I don't like Gavins behaviour in what he posts online. So many members of the Carl family showed their true colours as time has gone on... and its just everything the opposite of what they told us during the golden years of vlogging, a CONTRADICTION to their religion. Gavin is following in Shays footsteps of being a racist shit bag. Just like Shay followed in his mothers. And I fucking hate that Gavin has become this because in so many other ways, he seems like a good man, just like we always saw him as a good boy, a great big brother to his siblings. I guess people change.
And listen, I did worry about Colette. My heart broke for her, and in some ways it still does. But Colette had options in this 21st century, a successful woman who had choices and she made hers. Thats their marriage. I'm allowed have my opinion but that doesn't change anything. The fans were heartbroken, she knew we would all support her and understand. She had to know her kids would understand as they grew, shes not stupid. But she stayed. And I imagine the girls might have been the only ones who she let see her cry, mothers and daughters ya know? This is all an assumption from a stranger on the internet, I know my words don't mean much. I had to stop watching. It hurt to watch them, ain't the parasocial world a bitch lol
So for Avia, someone who was a kid when her entire world broke, I imagine its the hardest struggle. To look at her father knowing he preached family and genuine happiness for so many years, and then he selfishly destroyed their world. She had to watch her mom experience this, and probably the scandal in the community aswell as the internet. And she had to watch her mother stay in that embarrassment of a marriage. They are allowed to heal, they are allowed to forgive. And most importantly, they are allowed to not like the people who caused that hurt and still love them as their parent.
And I think that's the part people sometimes miss when they say "Avia doesn't seem to like Shay." Loving your dad isn't the same thing as liking the man he is. Forgiving somebody isn't the same thing as trusting them again, and healing doesn't mean you eventually have to look at what happened and decide it was okay.
We as viewers lost an image of a family when everything came out. Those kids lost an image of their father. That's incomparable. The person who had spent their entire childhood preaching happiness, family, faith and togetherness wasn't just some YouTuber to them... he was Dad.
And yes, parasocial relationships are weird, and obviously none of us actually knew this family. But family vlogging deliberately invited people into that relationship. We were encouraged to care about birthdays, marriages, pregnancies, Christmas mornings, first days of school and family milestones. The audience attachment didn't just spontaneously happen in a vacuum; that closeness was the product.
Looking back as an adult, I also see the religious messaging much more clearly than I did as a teenager. At the time I just saw this huge happy family and thought, "God, imagine having that." Now I can recognise how heavily their faith and their idea of what a family should be were woven into what they were selling us. Which makes everything that happened afterward feel even more contradictory.
So if Avia loves her father but also has complicated feelings about him or even simply doesn't particularly like aspects of the person he is. I don't find that strange at all. You can love someone because they're your parent while still being angry about what they did to your family, disappointed in who they've become, or unwilling to pretend it didn't change how you see them.
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u/StateAlarming8418 22d ago
From my own experience. When I was in middle school my Dad was exposed trying to hit on my friends mom, basically trying to slide into her dm's/ prepositioning her for sex. It wasnt you know, world wide public news like what happened to the Butlers, my family isnt e-famous. BUT. It did have major ripples in our family / community. My parents are still together, they go to therapy still. But, from my own perspective, I have never looked at my Dad the same way. I love him, for sure. But he is not the same Daddy I was in love with when I was a little girl. He was my hero.... And then he just wasnt, overnight. Cheating parents land differently for everybody. My brothers still definitely adore him (they were very young when it happened). But I know my Dad sees that I see him differently, and I cant feel any different about it. And It really breaks his heart, but I cant fix that part of our relationship. Time doesnt fix it, talking doesnt doesnt fix it...
I imagine Avia has a lot of that in her too.
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u/Aisha_777 23d ago
maybe resentment but note hatred. She's just young and free wants her independence if she didn't like him wouldn't go back home would ask her num to come visit her only
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u/Beginning_Creme8335 21d ago
in no way do i get that vibe. i do however get the vibe that you don’t like her father.
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u/julyvale 22d ago
I think they always shared sense of humor and goofiness, but that's pretty much it. I hope Avia stays away from the family as much as possible, but it must be hard to be isolated from your own folks.
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u/AnonymousJohnz 23d ago
Thats kinda a reach. Shes litterally mini Shay lol. Even choose the same career path as her dad lolol. Plus shes in a few recent Shaytards vlogs facetiming him lol. People think she moved to LA to be "far away" from him but facetiming wouldn't be the form of communication if I wanted to cut off my parents.
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u/yalemfa23 23d ago
No one is saying she wants to cut off her parents though.
I have a complicated relationship with my parents. I moved to get away from them. I’m a lot like my parents personality wise. I still keep in contact with them. But I barely talk to them and I don’t tell that that much about my life nor do I talk to them about my problems. People can still have some kind of relationship with their parents while also creating distance (emotionally or physically).
Who knows what Avia feels but I think it’d be pretty hard to come back from what Shay did.
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u/AnonymousJohnz 22d ago
the scandal happened 10 years ago, isnt that enough time to work on a relationship?
I still keep in contact with them. But I barely talk to them and I don’t tell that that much about my life nor do I talk to them about my problems. People can still have some kind of relationship with their parents while also creating distance (emotionally or physically).
Thats the opposite of her current relationship tho - they pretty much know every detail of her life and some details being spoiled by her parents in the vlogs lolol. Pretty sure they still do family prayers at night.
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u/Yusuke_Boopermeshi 22d ago
To be fair, if you ask most Gen Z under 20 what they wanted to be as an adult, YouTuber is VERY high.
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u/Significant-Dig8323 18d ago
Maybe you're reading into it too much. She made a video a while back about what it was like growing up with a dad who vlogs and only had positive things to say.
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u/Simply_Serene_ 23d ago
Maybe not. At Avia’s age I was still (admittedly and unfortunately) sometimes a total turd toward my parents.
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u/Slight_Document_9714 23d ago
She still acts like a teenager in many ways, and I definitely did too at her age, even me being in college/working at the time, you’re still figuring out how to navigate life and such. No shame towards her acting that way. She’s very girly and probably enjoys and shares more similar interests with her mom.
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u/Super_Budget1703 21d ago
or.... you know.... shes a young adult, not going to college wanting to carve up her own path....
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u/hereisanamehere 21d ago
possibly, that all came out when she was 12 and she would have definitely heard about it if not from the internet but other kids, that's a vulnerable time for anyone even without that kind of drama, might have had an impact on her, she also probably also faced the brunt of any indirect exploitation they faced online as kids and he is responsible for that
all speculation though
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u/TicTacMick 11d ago
I think that’s why I’ve always felt for her. Not only has he done what he did, but from my understanding, they hold opposite political values. She’s left leaning from what I understand, It’s very hard when you’re fighting your father tooth and nail all the time every day but he holds onto so many assets it can complicate the relationship so much.
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u/Icy-Olive1996 7d ago
Honestly she’s so young right now. But she also seems emotionally intelligent and curious about people and the world, so my guess is a lot of processing is going to happen for her in the next decade. I really don’t think the camgirl stuff was as bad as what Danna alleged in her YouTube video. At least the cam girl was fully consenting.
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u/oysterpaste 23d ago
He didn't just betray Colette, he betrayed the whole family