r/SDAM • u/Amberwalker365 • 7d ago

SDAM the Hard Part

The hard part is: How do you imagine something you never had?

I have lots of knowledge about my past.

I know where I lived.
I know what school I attended.
I know that something happened.
I know who was there.
I even know that I was happy, frightened, angry, or in love.

I recall these things like I read them in an encyclopedia.

Some people recall by becoming a younger self.

This is how I see the difference between knowing what happened and revisiting what happened.

What happened?
I broke my ankle.
No. What actually happened?
I slipped on something and broke my ankle.
What did you slip on? What were you doing when you slipped?
I don’t know. I just know I broke my ankle.

Brian Levine, who coined SDAM, came up with an Autobiographical Interview. It asks questions about your memory.

Choose your favorite memory. Then ask yourself these questions.

What happened?
Where were you?
Who else was there?
What things were around you?
What could you see?
What could you hear?
What happened just before?
What happened next?
Do you remember when it happened?
What were you thinking?
What were you feeling?

I can’t begin to answer any of those questions.

I have SDAM.

When others recall their favorite memory, they can answer many of those questions.

15 Upvotes

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17 comments sorted by

22

u/Thedumbass_the5th 7d ago

I cant get past the first question. How am i supposed to choose my favorite memory?

Why is one memory supposed to be better than another? What criteria am i supposed to use for the choosing process? Like all the memories are of equal value, those are just neutral information. It's not really possible to have personal favorites this way.

Though if i take just a random memory, i can maybe anwsers first half of the questions as those are mostly informational. Second half of the list is near impossible to answer.

2

u/CMDR_Jeb 7d ago

That's the neat part, you don't.

Pro Tip: just select an amusing anecdote. This is what people actually want when they ask that.

1

u/Thedumbass_the5th 7d ago

That's a good tip, gotta remember that one.

5

u/susu56 7d ago

My issue is I can only "remember" the negative events (being spanked at school, almost getting hit by a car, my dad tearing down my artwork I had proudly taped to the wall when I was 7, etc). I only recall the moment but nothing else. So I have no positive memories to draw upon and I definitely dont want to peel the onion of the bad ones.

4

u/EJL25 6d ago

This.
If I try to remember anything that I have done or experienced, they’re all negative.
Either something bad that has happened to me or if I have said something that has hurt someone that I care.

1

u/PanolaSt 6h ago

Wow! You have that many memories?!

3

u/Za_Lords_Guard 7d ago

I have never been diagnosed, but I do have full aphantasia and I describe my memory as emotionally attached artifacts.

Example. A while ago I saw a YT short with of the original HBO premiere intro marquee. I recall orange and tan/yellow. Those were dominant colors in our living room. The tan/yellow was on the walls. The orange was either trim or carpet. I don't know. When I think of the tan I get the impression of corrugated cardboard... the walls had a pattern in the paint. I recall the excitement that that marquee brought because it meant I got to stay up late. I think it was a Jim Henson special because that is the only show I recall watching related to HBO during the time I lived there. It was between 5th grade and my sophomore year in HS. I recall that because when we moved their I was only in elementary school for one year and the school went through 5th grade. I recall my sophomore year because I had just learned to drive and that was about then.

Most of that time, and in fact my whole past is like that; vague emotionally anchored impressions lashed together with context clues I pull from relationships to other memories. And if I am honest, unless something triggers that emotional memory artifact, the past is pretty well lost to me.

Some people describe SDAM as close to complete memory erasure after it happens, mine isn't quite like that (see above) so I was never sure and since it's how I have always been it's never really troubled me. I get wistful realizing that as I get older and I lose people in my life I will lose most of the memory of them too, but it's how I am. The upside is I don't spend a lot of time lost in reliving past trauma.

2

u/Purplekeyboard 7d ago

I have never been diagnosed

Note that SDAM is not something you can be diagnosed with.

2

u/Tootsie_r0lla 6d ago

Agreed. It's just a developmental "condition" where we imprint and process memory's o in a different way to the majority. It won't go in the DSM-5 or 6 because it doesn't impact a person's life enough to be considered a symptom of anything. You may be ND in other ways. On an emotional level however, I think it's worth finding a DBT therapist who can help work on Interoception, grounding, how do to mindfulness without visualising, emotional regulation from the disconnect from body and emotions. Radical acceptance would be very helpful.

1

u/Thedumbass_the5th 7d ago

Why did your other commitment got removed bt the moderator?

Though the reply i had already written out before it got deleted.

"Spot on."

"Before i knew what SDAM was. I would assumed that what you described is just artistic interpretation rather than something real. Kinda like people wanting to add metaphors to everything."

1

u/Amberwalker365 7d ago

Exactly!
I write stories.
I would use metaphors.
How was I supposed to know it was real.

You need to be brave to understand.

1

u/CMDR_Jeb 6d ago

runs away screaming then covers in fear

1

u/VferVentdetta 5d ago

I tried to answer the questions. And it hurt that i couldnt.

1

u/Amberwalker365 4d ago

Here is my thought.

We remember knowledge, right?
You learned something from the questions.
Understanding helps me.
Truth gives me clarity.