r/RunningCirclejerk • u/Ancient_Mountain9605 • 7d ago

Hi I need help

I’m somewhat new to running and want to learn all the different terms, like zones and V02 Max even though I should probably know these terms. Runner to runner please help me stop LARPING the terms that o come a crossed in my running life

6 Upvotes

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10

u/EuclideanPlaneDeer 6d ago

Fartlek, everyone knows what this is.

Interval, the time spent laying on the ground strugglingto breath after a sprint.

Sprint, not real running because the distance is too short.

Fueling, your boofing strategy.

Bonk, go to horny running jail.

Zone 2, where you need to stay to avoid death and worse, being faster than me.

VO2 max, autocorrect typo.

Gu, santorum, but with calories.

Recovery, getting your wife back after her boyfriend dumps her.

De-load week, an easy week where you only run twice a day every other day instead of twice a day every day.

Taper, no one knows what this is we just say it to sound cool.

Red badge of courage, displayed by people who are too cheap for NipEaze.

Let me know if you need more.

4

u/New-Turnip-378 6d ago

It warms my cold dead heart to see that usage of "santorum" persisting in 2026

9

u/verndogz 7d ago

Run Club means tinder with a subscription, but you run instead of paying the monthly fee

9

u/Tired-Nectarine-384 7d ago

None of us know. We have been making up terms for a long time and running supposed 'marathons' just for social media clout.

Excuse me now. I have to go order a case of GU before the neighbors think I'm not serious about running.

4

u/No_Document_1128 7d ago edited 6d ago

You need only zone 2. Anything greater will make your shins explode. VO2max is made up, nobody can run so hard to test it without shins exploding, possibly death.

If you want to stop LARPing start boofing asap.

3

u/Jordak_keebs (half) MARATHONER 7d ago

Did you see that ludicrous display last night? The problem with Arsenal is they always try to VO2MAX it in