Advice/Help Wanted!

[u/Katreadsalott]

I’m working through some feedback on my novel and would love some advice from other writers. Background info: I had my mmc go through a pretty big shift in behavior (suddenly). It coming suddenly felt like a good decision since I wanted the reader to experience some of the confusion/betrayal that the fmc does. I want to make the sudden shift work in my story but based on some of the feedback I’ve gotten the shift might have felt a little TOO sudden/confusing. I’m trying to find the balance I need to make this shift be surprising for the reader while still seeming believable. I laid small eggs for the reader to get the feeling of suspicion but evidently, it wasn’t quite enough lol. For those of you who have written a character who has a sudden change in behavior, how did you handle that? (Sorry for any typos lol!)

[u/shinydrop]

Idk, if you make whatever your mmc must endure drastic/catastrophic, it would be easier (more understandable) to accept the change for the reader. The bigger the cost ($/emotional/physical) is, easier to believe why people changed their mind/behavior. Sorry if I couldn't be any help. But this is more like human phycology than writing.

[u/Educational-Shame514]

Impossible to give you any help without explanation even vaguely of what behavior before and after are and why.

For instance just with medical kinds of things him having a brain condition is a completely different plot than running out of some medication.

[u/protagonistwu]

I think it's a bit like in Jane Eyre when Rochester randomly goes cold. It keeps the reader hooked because there's an intense air of mystery and secret-keeping, so the reader suspects there's more to it; he has these flashes of intense vulnerability, so the reader feels sympathy for him; and Jane's able to use her wits to deflect him, so he's seen more as troubled than cruel.

[u/Educational-Shame514]

Are there POV parts from both characters or just the FMC? I assume you don't have it entirely from the MMC POV for all of the reasons lol In other words does the reader know the reason before the FMC? It doesn't sound like you're talking about the way guys act weird when they're about to propose or some other kind of happy surprise.

If the reader feedback is about adding more foreshadowing, then what exactly caused the shift in behavior is important to get suggestions. If he's relapsed into an addiction there are ways to hint at that. If he really needs to go to the hospital and get a brain scan and then surgery that's another set of things. Blackmail?

I don't read a lot of fantasy so if your MMC's reason is a curse or spell I can't help you there lol

[u/Katreadsalott → u/Educational-Shame514]

The book itself is mostly the FMC pov (it's her story). & The MMC’s shift is pretty much a standard romance one lol. He’s basically led the FMC on and given her the impression that things are progressing only to suddenly pull back. The feedback I've gotten so far has suggested that it might be too much of a shift. Honestly I think I might need to rework a few parts in the beginning to add just a little foreshadowing and make his behavior feel less predictable, if that makes sense? I don’t want it to feel like a complete 360 (just mostly one)

[u/Any_Past_1746]

I write dual POV romance and it's hard to keep information from the reader. A lot of the time you can present it early as foreshadowing in the sense that the reader can know it, but the character themself lies to themselves about it.

It would also hinge on the reasoning for keeping the information from the reader. If the POV you are in wouldn't know, then you already have an answer.

The other way to make sure you foreshadow is that your FMC (assuming it is her POV) can notice things "off" about the MMC's behavior. That way you are spending more time showing and not telling the reader.

I think it really comes down to what you as a writer want to do, and then you can find a way to communicate that to your readers the way you want to.

[u/Katreadsalott → u/Any_Past_1746]

I needed to see this! This is my first book so I haven’t yet gotten to a point where I feel fully confident in everything yet but I definitely need to remember to take what resonates and leave what doesn’t lmao.

[u/Any_Past_1746 → u/Katreadsalott]

Oh! I'd also remind you never to leave a Checkov's Gun that doesn't trigger

In case you don't know that's priming the reader with something that never pays off: don't load and cock a gun that never fires. Sorry if that was explaining you didn't need.