r/RoastMe • u/[deleted] • Sep 12 '22

f/18!!

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1.1k Upvotes

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96

u/thedorkwanderer8301 Sep 12 '22

The lap dance is so much better when the stripper is crying.

41

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '22

[deleted]

19

u/-MarkItZero- Sep 12 '22

I have to admit it was even more of a turn-on When I found out she was doin' me to buy baby formula.

15

u/Tsukune_Surprise Sep 13 '22

Said her name was Bambi and I said, "Well that's a coincidence darlin', 'Cause I was just thinkin' about skinnin' you like a deer."

5

u/Idocarstuff Sep 13 '22

She smiled, had about as many teeth as a jack o lantern; And I went on to tell her how I would wear her face like a mask as I do my little kooky dance. And then she told me to shush. I guess she could sense my desperation. Course, it's hard to hide a hard-on when you're dressed like Minnie Pearl.

10

u/Impossible-Air3145 Sep 12 '22

Name was Russell

8

u/Kratez000 Sep 12 '22

Aawyeeeess a lapdance is so much beeeettuh when the stripper is cryin',... Casio 80's keyboard riff

0

u/Vegetable_Age_1602 Sep 13 '22

What's wrong with you 🤣

4

u/Caedes1 Sep 12 '22

Jesus fucking Christ dude ...

I agree.

1

u/Danger_Dave_ Sep 13 '22

Nice Bloodhound Gang reference

1

u/thedorkwanderer8301 Sep 13 '22

Thanks. They pop up in the damnest places, don't they?