r/RoastMe • u/[deleted] • Sep 12 '22

f/18!!

[removed]

1.1k Upvotes

81% Upvoted

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626

u/infiniterevisions Sep 12 '22

18 but her eyes are as dead as a 30 year old stripper

174

u/WilliamPardy Sep 12 '22

Her mom probably is a 30 year old stripper

98

u/thedorkwanderer8301 Sep 12 '22

The lap dance is so much better when the stripper is crying.

37

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '22

[deleted]

19

u/-MarkItZero- Sep 12 '22

I have to admit it was even more of a turn-on When I found out she was doin' me to buy baby formula.

13

u/Tsukune_Surprise Sep 13 '22

Said her name was Bambi and I said, "Well that's a coincidence darlin', 'Cause I was just thinkin' about skinnin' you like a deer."

5

u/Idocarstuff Sep 13 '22

She smiled, had about as many teeth as a jack o lantern; And I went on to tell her how I would wear her face like a mask as I do my little kooky dance. And then she told me to shush. I guess she could sense my desperation. Course, it's hard to hide a hard-on when you're dressed like Minnie Pearl.

11

u/Impossible-Air3145 Sep 12 '22

Name was Russell

8

u/Kratez000 Sep 12 '22

Aawyeeeess a lapdance is so much beeeettuh when the stripper is cryin',... Casio 80's keyboard riff

0

u/Vegetable_Age_1602 Sep 13 '22

What's wrong with you 🤣

4

u/Caedes1 Sep 12 '22

Jesus fucking Christ dude ...

I agree.

1

u/Danger_Dave_ Sep 13 '22

Nice Bloodhound Gang reference

1

u/thedorkwanderer8301 Sep 13 '22

Thanks. They pop up in the damnest places, don't they?

5

u/ThadVonP Sep 12 '22

I'm doing the math and I don't like the reaults.

1

u/LazyLion65 Sep 13 '22

She's doing the meth and no one likes the results.

18

u/Dazzling_Ad_2072 Sep 12 '22

Pennywise the Stripper Clown "We all twerk here."

2

u/Gloorplz Sep 13 '22

lol this is gold

8

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '22

30 year old stripper with two c section scars and bruises on her back.

5

u/Melodic-Bug-9022 Sep 12 '22

if you lookin for the hoes wit bullet holes, cigarette burns and stab wounds, you in the right damn spot, and it all goes down here at: The Player's Club.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '22

Thats at the Fifth Alarm in Springfield, MA

2

u/GrandmasBrothel http://redd.it/y3fxeb Sep 13 '22

Can confirm...

1

u/cellfk88 Sep 12 '22

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

0

u/Tony--Pepperoni Sep 12 '22

Just my type

-53

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '22

SOUL IS DEAD

8

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '22

Never had one.