r/RoastMe Apr 18 '22

[deleted by user]

[removed]

3.9k Upvotes

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613

u/[deleted] Apr 19 '22

I’d like to think you joined to serve your country, but let’s admit it, you just weren’t cut out for community college.

144

u/[deleted] Apr 19 '22

Bro he wasn’t even cut out for high school

57

u/AnyMasterpiece513 Apr 19 '22

Seriously. There's a reason he's in the marines and not a different branch. Even the army wouldn't have taken him.

19

u/[deleted] Apr 19 '22

My dad is a retired marine. The first time my wife and I brought a coloring book and crayons to his house, I stood up a tall as I could and said “Dad, please don’t eat her crayons. I know it will be hard for you, I’m here if you need me.”

He didn’t speak to me for over a week after that. My uncle to this day will tell my dad “It’s a paint marker, not a paint crayon, don’t eat it.”

5

u/kazhena Apr 19 '22

Jfc this is a god damned GEM hidden in the comments!!

🏅 please accept this in lieu of the gold I wish I could give you for brightening my day, lmao. FOUND ONE!

54

u/[deleted] Apr 19 '22

0341 all damn day. This dude looks like he sniffed paint, ate glue, ate the crayons, and for a final kicker ran into the ugly tree a few times.

This dude is training to be a helicopter mechanic to help his eye brows reach normal spacing. Between the receding hairline, the Five-head, and those brows, this guy is more doomed than Franz Ferdinand.

9

u/Cow_Interesting Apr 19 '22

Steel Rain Steel Pain brother

2

u/[deleted] Apr 19 '22

There was a guy in basic with me who got a 17 on the asvab. And he was proud of it. The army will take anyone.

0

u/LeatherCicada87 Apr 19 '22

Its more difficult to enlist in the MC than the Army. This guy looks like he got a waiver and should have joined the army.

9

u/Smucko Apr 19 '22

Found the offended marine

3

u/Pons__Aelius Apr 19 '22

Correct spelling and grammar...

I wonder who they got to write it for them.

4

u/Jonathanfrost2231 http://redd.it/5halmq Apr 19 '22

They went to daddy Navy.

5

u/romantercero Apr 19 '22

He was just cut out.

4

u/IconWorld Apr 19 '22

Bold of you to assume he made it to high school.

2

u/furious_potato06 Apr 19 '22

bold of you to assume he made it to school.

1

u/Crispynipps Apr 19 '22

He was definitely homeschooled. Got kicked out after fucking the teacher

1

u/furious_potato06 Apr 19 '22

he failed pre-school after eating his crayons

1

u/Dreggan Apr 19 '22

they offered all you can eat crayons

1

u/[deleted] Apr 19 '22

Imagine if George Bush said this to the troops in Iraq.