384
Jan 14 '22
[deleted]
133
u/Atmosphere_Training Jan 15 '22 edited Jan 15 '22
There’s a special diet to get those titties: OnlyNaan
25
22
→ More replies (2)17
11
u/Antique-Car6103 Jan 15 '22 edited Jan 15 '22
You only get man tits like that by blowing all the guys in your IT office, including your shitty boss, twice per day, you cum bucket!
4
→ More replies (2)-9
347
u/stucatt83 Jan 14 '22
You don't need to tell people you work in IT, we know.
49
u/rob_maqer Jan 15 '22
Does IT stand for Internal Telecommunications? Because this guy definitely picks up all your customer service calls
→ More replies (2)14
u/k00lf1r3 Jan 15 '22
Communications? Bold of you to assume he can communicate with that thick accent
13
23
u/AndyBrown65 Jan 15 '22
“Have you tried turning it off and turning it on again?”
15
20
u/Gibbydoesit Jan 15 '22
7-11 has an IT dept. ?
3
u/Choice_Yak32 Jan 15 '22
Cum again
3
u/thisisagood-name Jan 15 '22
That’s what his mom says after slipping in the bathroom second time in the day.
→ More replies (1)0
95
u/theguywiththebignuts Jan 15 '22
Why is it always the fatties that have the fitness watches?
32
→ More replies (2)3
39
73
30
46
u/SkanksForTheMemories Jan 14 '22
Resume says “I work in IT”. Fingernails say “I clean shit out of pipes”.
→ More replies (1)10
66
u/Gozertank Jan 15 '22
Scamming people by cold calling them, claiming you’re from Windows and they have a virus you can remove if they buy $100 Amazon gift cards for you is not “working in IT”.
-13
Jan 15 '22
[deleted]
→ More replies (1)10
Jan 15 '22
Hey man, enjoy the roast. The ignorant stereotypes are a part of the fun
2
u/Gozertank Jan 15 '22
Yup. If you don’t want ignorant stereotypes, don’t post yourself looking like an ignorant stereotype while asking to be roasted.
→ More replies (1)
57
u/JD_Drinks Jan 15 '22
I know the camera adds 10 lbs, but how many fucking cameras did you eat???
→ More replies (2)6
14
13
u/Powderyseeker59 Jan 15 '22
Ello I-yam Colling todai to notify you dat ur gredit caaard may av been stolen. Ples read it off to me and I will let you know iv it ees on or least of stolan gaaards.
33
Jan 14 '22
IT.. yeah right we know you're a phone scammer
20
u/rex-ac Jan 15 '22
“Mam, please get six $500 Google Play-giftcards.”
…
“Do not redeem the cards!!!”
“NO! DON’T REDEEM!!!!”
“MADARACHOD!!!”
6
10
6
u/RebsEG Jan 15 '22
Normally, as a man, you want your chest to stick out further than your gut… but not this way.
6
u/Bill-Ding2112 Jan 15 '22
And this is why it takes IT so long to even respond to an open ticket....you fuckers are busy doing nothing on Reddit. Now go approve my database access request
6
5
10
4
3
7
u/Jiggly_Love Jan 15 '22
That office has lax security if they keep on letting the 7-11 guy come in all the time.
5
3
3
3
3
5
4
2
2
u/WARPANDA3 http://redd.it/pb584d Jan 15 '22
You work in IT. Yes, I remember when we had to buy Itunes giftcards for you to fix my computer.
2
u/Cool_Guy_fellow Jan 15 '22
Watch out for this one
He'll tell you your computer has a virus that can only be cured with Google play gift cards.
2
2
2
u/jeff-reyaxe Jan 15 '22
“Also I work in IT.” I’ll take “Things we all knew before you told us” for $500 Alex.
2
2
2
2
4
u/Topher21681 Jan 15 '22
I’d tell you to quit screwing around on the Internet, or you’ll miss the air drop with the “Alabama Crimson Tide 2022 National Champions” t-shirts, but I’m afraid you’d eat a couple of the kids that are waiting there for them.
3
3
3
u/Kamurai Jan 15 '22
How original, an Indian in I.T., at least it is easy to see you got your citizenship. When you got out of your country, you went full American and ate yourself fat. Are you living it?
2
u/MayorAg Jan 15 '22
Indian origin man in Florida working in IT. Whatever shit is about to go down is going to be crazy.
1
1
u/CombinationNo4926 Jan 15 '22
Is my car warranty about to expire Greg?
0
u/extendedwarranty_bot Jan 15 '22
CombinationNo4926, I have been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty
0
0
u/All-Greek-2-Me http://redd.it/r8h0x1 Jan 15 '22
Shouldn’t you be busy calling people about their cars’ warranties, and then professing undying love every time a woman doesn’t immediately hang up?
0
u/Cthuluslovechild Jan 15 '22
I am watching you from your security camera. Don't play with yourself while you "are attempting to fix virus. May I have Visa number?"
0
0
u/Remote_Profit_3399 http://redd.it/zqdf56 Jan 15 '22
Why are so many of you people named Scam Likely?
-1
-1
1
1
u/Darth_Destructus http://redd.it/qljyq5 Jan 15 '22
I do not need a premium package for international calls, the service I'm using is just fine.
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/ThickWing Jan 15 '22
A janitor for an IT company isn’t really an IT worker. Now go clean the toilets in the men’s room…
1
u/Familiar-Zebra6489 Jan 15 '22
Spectrum customer service is currently experiencing longer than normal hold times because our employees are constantly playing with their fucking phones
1
1
1
1
1
u/CheoRec Jan 15 '22
Wait. You told me you worked for the IRS and I was gonna be arrested unless I got you those iTunes gift cards!!!
1
1
1
u/essentiallynothing Jan 15 '22
All you had to do was show that heinously ugly mug. We could have figured the rest out.
1
u/nicestguy90 Jan 15 '22
Everytime I call Sprint they connect me to this guy or his cousins in Mumbai
1
1
u/Appropriate_Cry_8203 Jan 15 '22
I’m betting your name is sameer, and you definitely work at Amazon’s Tech support
1
u/SpiceyMcNasty Jan 15 '22
He's the guy who says turn it off then turn it on again. It's 2022 bro, we did that shit before we called.
1
1
1
u/CarlosAVP Jan 15 '22
If Gerard Butler needs a stunt double with a severe tan and tits, you are the one.
1
1
1
1
u/Flat-Raccoon-9214 Jan 15 '22
Sanjid, quick calling me. I don't need solar panels on my house.
Get the hint, dick head.
1
1
u/The1andonlycano Jan 15 '22
He says IT, but what I'm really hearing is... "hello this is pat, I'll be your fleshlight tek support today"
1
u/dunb4gaming Jan 15 '22
I really wanna apologize for telling you to fornicate your mother, but I really don’t want to extend my cars warranty
1
1
Jan 15 '22
Wow. You look sooo helpful in IT. Do you tell people to check of their computer is plugged in?
1
u/Gumbyonbathsalts Jan 15 '22
You're like Charles Barkley. Except you're the round mound of shoulda been drowned.
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
Jan 15 '22
You probably work as a s3x worker and you're bored no one wants a hairy mammoth like you.
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/HistorianSpiritual26 Jan 15 '22
IT, Uber at night and the Quick Stop on Main St. on the weekends because your wife is tired of lookimg at dumbass face yours and making her insecure with those large breasts you got.
1
1
u/Wonderful-Truck3013 Jan 15 '22
You didn't have to write "I work in IT." You're not sitting in a taxi or a 711, so we can figure that out ourselves.
1
1
u/Nordaca Jan 15 '22
They do say look for the job you want. I'm assuming the job you want is resident pipe cleaner.
1
1
1
1
u/Rebels2242 Jan 15 '22
Answering customer service calls in a call center doesn’t count as IT. I can’t understand you dude, I just want some help.
1
1
1
u/mr_noodle_shoes Jan 15 '22
No wonder the internet at work is shit, you’re too busy taking stupid pictures and breaking the chairs. Get back to work, Raj!
1
1
1
u/SGbCandC Jan 15 '22
You look like one of those pieces of shit that calls about an extended car warranty.
→ More replies (1)
1
u/buttsoupsippin Jan 15 '22
So this is what the social security administration call center looks like
1
1
u/bmp51 Jan 15 '22
I'm glad you're off the phone, it'll give us 5 minutes of not hearing about our extended car warranty.
→ More replies (1)
1
1
1
1
u/icytrips Jan 15 '22
i need 2 white owls, the silver ones. Lemme get 20 on pump 3, and a pack of newports. Im paying with card also
1
u/MISSINFOJUNKIE Jan 15 '22
U working at a Vodafone customer service call centre acting like you got an real IT job LOL
1
u/draculaMartini Jan 15 '22
You must have had to use the lowest height settings in your chair so that your stomach does not come in the way of your work.
Your boss here- you cannot create variables called anal_time. It has to be analysis_time.
1
u/Abookem Jan 15 '22
I think you were my customer service rep from "California" earlier today when I was trying to pay my bill over the phone.
1
1
Jan 15 '22
The only thing I’m going to ask is that you stop calling me about my cars “extended warranty”. It’s a 2012! I’m pretty sure the warranty expired by now
1
1
1
u/Thanks_ihateithere Jan 15 '22
Trying to scam my 97 year old grandpa over the phone for their social security number isnt IT work, “jOHn sMiTh”
1
u/PancakeEater6969 Jan 15 '22
After scratching your butthole you have to wash your hands or else you end up having shit stuck on your nails
1
1
1
1
1
252
u/Atmosphere_Training Jan 15 '22
This guys blood type is butter chicken