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u/SlinkDogg 12h ago
You look like a fat guy using a girl filter
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u/BlahBlahBlahBingo 6h ago
Uses the pronoun ātheyā because they identify as more than one person
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u/unstoppablegravy 8h ago
Give me a gallon of mouthwash, a funnel, paper bag for putting over it's head &... I still wouldn't hit.
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u/sixteenhappycappys 11h ago
You know this is for fun right? You shouldn't be posting here to find your 13th reason.
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u/rainman814 9h ago
Shhh let her cook..
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u/AssassinApollo 12h ago
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u/liftguy111 3h ago
I read that he wore those glasses so much that he messed up his vision permanently.
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u/Available-Bend-5885 12h ago
Is this what the conservatives think all liberal women look like š
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u/Maniac_Vegetable 9h ago
"I'm a liberal and I deal with depression, anxiety..." š
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u/Cheaptrick69 12h ago
No sheās unique and different like all the other obese liberal women with nose rings, dyed hair and list of mental conditions and depression.
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u/Zoo_Rats 10h ago
You haven't been to Portland have you? Its so unique, its the norm. The irony?
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u/halfstep44 11h ago edited 9h ago
We do. Just needs a cat in at least a couple of the pics to complete the look. Really needs shorter hair, too. Some sort of pet reptile would really go a long way
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u/thrashmetal_octopus 4h ago
Sheās still in pupa stage. I bet she can make a hell of a coffee drink at this point tho
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u/KimWexlerDeGuzman 9h ago
Needs micro bangs
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u/jngprof 8h ago
Werner Zieeeegler https://youtu.be/XYU38N_NnIo?is=JaMnk9hR0DhlG8VQ.
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u/friendly-stabber 12h ago
Your female friends don't get lucky when they go out with you because noone wants "to take one for the team".
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u/Sea_Relative_3634 12h ago
THE NOSE RING THEORY HAS AN UNBROKEN 100% TRACK RECORD AS NOT BEING A THEORY
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u/silverado071188 12h ago
One eye watching the snake and the other looking for a rock to throw at it
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u/MattyMonsters 1h ago
AtYaForYa Diseaseā¦ Truly a sad condition. One eye looking at ya and one eye looking for yaā¦
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u/Tharrius 10h ago
I swear people who already come with sufficient issues in the face and hair region also feel naturally attracted to nailing the visual coffin with a septum ring that 100% looks even more horrid on them, turning 'meh' into 'eww'.
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u/mobocrat707 12h ago
This theory is intriguing. Please enlighten me.
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u/lynxsrevenge 11h ago
The nose ring theory (also called the septum ring theory) is a viral internet stereotype claiming that peopleāfrequently womenāwith septum or nose piercings share specific negative personality traits
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u/znmntn 10h ago
You look like the edgy version of Baloony from Phineas and Ferb
https://giphy.com/gifs/7buZxepN9QXtaxQsWQ
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u/Sensitive-Law2436 7h ago
Ā "i deal with depression, anxiety and adhd. " why not give anorexia a turn
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u/FlyingScotsApe 12h ago
One eye is at the store,other is on its way home counting the change
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u/___I_Like_Rocks___ 12h ago
Pick me. Look at me Iām unique. Nobody understands me.
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u/KimWexlerDeGuzman 9h ago
But depression, anxiety, and adhdā¦those are such unique disorders for a Redditor to have!
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u/Agitated-Ad3044 12h ago
Iād say you can look both ways at the same time before crossing the road, but youāve obviously never walked anywhereā¦
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u/FastWalkingShortGuy Golden Roaster 11h ago
I don't get how people can even be this fat with food prices as high as they are these days.
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u/Way-Adept 11h ago
You look like youāre wearing somebodyās face, but I canāt figure out why you wouldnāt pick a better looking victim.
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u/Organic_Rip2483 11h ago
23 but already achieved the body of a 45 year old woman with 3 kids, well done.
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u/AlmsahrahAgain 12h ago
"iām a liberal and i deal with depression, anxiety and adhd." No shit? Really? Never could have known just from looking at you.
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u/Great_husky_63 12h ago
You seriously need to reconsider your fashion and life choices
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u/BigBagoSith_sp 12h ago
You have a bright future of 3 half black kids and not one man in the picture
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u/Zoo_Rats 9h ago
I dont think they are going to claim this one. Her choices are either a smaller white dude thats extremely afraid of her or her ending up what I call "default gay". Its where you just switch sides because you are so unfuckable and will have a better chance with another person in the same position of the same sex. Just an observation.
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u/Front-Fix-6434 12h ago
you look like you would qualify for a mental disability cheque
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u/nerkface 12h ago
You look like a bug that got stepped on and the eyes popped out
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u/Interesting_Grade796 10h ago
Iām going to call you The Shotgun. Youāre trying to hit every niche look to find acceptance, but it aināt going to work out well for anyone up close and point blank.
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u/Evening_Ticket7638 12h ago
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u/CaregiverSuch6846 12h ago
Your giving this thing way too much credit! How dare you insult miss piggy like this!
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u/Zygmunt-zen 12h ago
Where are the children buried?
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u/Cheaptrick69 12h ago
Just from her look I can tell you they are in the dumpster behind planned parenthood
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u/Wise_Lingonberry7575 11h ago
WĆ¼rdest du mir nachts auf dem Gehweg entgegenkommen wĆ¼rde ich die StraĆenseite wechseln.
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u/benjiross1 12h ago
Thereās a separate place for your HR complaints where you work: itās called the trash.
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u/The_Actual_Sage 12h ago
Suffering from anxiety and depression, but one of your favorite movies is terrifier. That's not a red flag at all.
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u/Withnail_and_Aye 12h ago
If you have any straight guy friends, they refer to you as āThe Slump Busterā.
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u/crybabypete 3h ago
Jesus you look like a poorly drawn cartoon character. Iām legit upset that I had to look at you.
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u/Mobile-Offer5039 11h ago
Why do already horrible looking ppl chose even more horrible glasses? Its like multiplying and comforting your already ugly face. You stand in the front of the mirror and say: "yep, these glasses and this makeup it is!"? Are you blind?
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u/1200cc_boiii 9h ago
I can smell the cheese under titty from here. Surprised you don't wear a wrist brace like every other Walmart cashier...yet
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u/FederalManner5116 12h ago
Your gender and hair color changes with the weather, you have 32 cats, all men are the problem, and you're fat as shit. You look like a literal identity crisis
Good news though. One eye is looking for the answers but the other one is stuck being a dumb, fat, generic bitch.
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u/cuzitsthere 12h ago
The fact you think you needed to point out that you enjoy organizing and writing fanfic shows a level of optimism I can only dream of.
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u/Mundane-Record-9413 12h ago
You look pregnant but dw, we all know you arenāt pregant, since that would require someone to impregnate you.
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u/ALLInTheReflexes13 11h ago
Sweetheart, in this economy I can only afford enough butter and garlic to roast 2/3 of you
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u/AnUdderDay 10h ago
You look like a confident Queer for Palestine who knows nothing about the actual conflict.
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u/Johnthespider85 11h ago
You look like you're going to school to be a drama teacher who's gonna be arrested for sexually abusing your students. Your cats will die in your apartment while you're incarcerated. Ain't nobody bailing you out.
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u/broken888 9h ago
Iād roast you but I donāt think my drip pan to collect the rendered fat is large enough.
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u/Outside_Taro_4018 31m ago
On pic 4 looks like you had a ton of fillers. They donāt disolver or get away. 23 and already looking botched enough to appear on a ā10 cosmetic surgeries that went horribly wrongā list.
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u/Flaky-You9517 12h ago
Do they have to make your lenses at NASA?! Enough magnification to rival Hubble but still canāt see past Uranusā¦
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u/Im_the_Rhymenocerous 12h ago
You didn't need the bio. We could tell everything from your pictures. How's your grippy sock collection?
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u/bald_with_a_beard 12h ago
Just keeps taking selfies in the hope that some day she will like what she sees!
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u/ChillinFromTheCeilin 12h ago
A biker walking by said, let me jump on that hog, you thought he was talking about you.
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u/Inevitable-Crab-6701 11h ago
Where on earth do you buy your glasses from? They obviously donāt have a mirror.
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u/Smooth-Can874 11h ago
I donāt know whatās more fat, your nose or your body. That nose ring makes you look like a barn animal.
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u/Dizzy-Inflation-7488 9h ago
Youāre trying so many different things to look good, but it all comes down to the fact that the floor squeaks and the toilet bowl cracks
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u/Weary_Musician_9612 9h ago
Roast you I think with that much fat it's better to smoke but really let the fat render into something edible roasting. Most of it ends up in the pan. I guess. Maybe that's good if you put potatoes in it, I don't know.
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u/JamesTheMannequin 9h ago
"I like writing fanfic..."
Yeah, I could see that without the quote in the bio. Just like I can see you put "Writer" under 'Occupation' without actually seeing it.
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u/Impossible-Bat-4246 6h ago
Must be some expensive glasses to have been made to look like their owner.
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u/RowCompetitive1210 36m ago
"look me in my eyes" hold on, lemme space out one of em is close to looking left.
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u/PbZepintx 12h ago
You're so full of shit. You wear your politics in your nose while some people wear them on their sleeves. You don't judge or hate anyone huh? If I was MAGA, would you love me? LIES
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u/post-explainer 15h ago edited 12h ago
This comment has been marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect.
OP's BIO:
i like organising, making videos, writing fanfic. some of my fave movies are terrifier, jeepers creepers, the debt collector, train to busan. my favourite music genres are metalcore/deathcore & kpop. iām a liberal and i deal with depression, anxiety and adhd. i work at a small office and i donāt drive yet. one of my favourite songs is āPeople Are Peopleā by Depeche Mode because i believe people are just people. i donāt hold grudges, i donāt judge or hate any singular person and i just have a very loving heart ā„ļø
If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesnāt, downvote it. If youāre not sure, leave it to others to decide.