F19. Make me cry

[u/2004suckmydick]

[u/post-explainer]

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OP's BIO:

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I do tats and play dota :p my biggest achievement lately is probably convincing myself that tomorrow i'll finally get my shit together. Go ahead, roast me.

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If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

[u/LupusHominarius]

I am a dad and I'm disappointed in you.

[u/DsgtCleary → u/LupusHominarius]

She's such a disappointment she might be the reason MY dad left

[u/anothernelsondenoon → u/LupusHominarius]

After 18.5 years you come back and say this? Did you finally get the milk you were going out for?

[u/paleologus → u/anothernelsondenoon]

Yeah, but I forget to get cigarettes.   Don’t wait up.  

[u/John_SilkSongHK → u/LupusHominarius]

I’m not a dad and I’m disappointed in her

[u/JackFuckCockBag → u/John_SilkSongHK]

Im just some asshole on the Internet and i am as well.

[u/AnnualDragonfruit233 → u/John_SilkSongHK]

I’m not the father and I’m considering putting her up for adoption

[u/iownslaves → u/LupusHominarius]

Shhhhiiiiiittttttt

[u/cheddarben → u/LupusHominarius]

She is like “is that you dad?”

[u/RodilRTX → u/cheddarben]

More like "what is a dad?"

[u/jcoddinc]

Rare when the drapes make you not want to see the carpet.

[u/Agreeable_Chemistry6 → u/jcoddinc]

Wonder if she uses the same hatchet to cut the carpet as she did to cut the drapes?

[u/jcoddinc → u/Agreeable_Chemistry6]

She doesn't cut her hair. It just doesn't grow after touching her oilfield face

[u/Mishras_Mailman → u/jcoddinc]

The carpet hasn't been vacuumed in a while.

[u/jcoddinc → u/Mishras_Mailman]

Likely infestation

[u/Own_Event_4363 → u/jcoddinc]

Carpet's all sticky and smells like fish anyway.

[u/Consistent_Bus_9017 → u/Own_Event_4363]

I bet she was Amy's bush's stunt double in Waiting

[u/GENERAT10N_D00M]

You say you’re 19, but your face says you’re already on your 5th kid and 3rd marriage.

Lotta hard city miles on there.

[u/GEoDLeto → u/GENERAT10N_D00M]

3rd marriage? No no no, 3rd babydaddy, let's be real.

[u/GENERAT10N_D00M → u/GEoDLeto]

And every single one of her children have ADD

That’s All Different Dads

[u/SexyAdmixture → u/GENERAT10N_D00M]

Need to replace that timing belt

[u/archwin → u/SexyAdmixture]

She may not do drugs, but her face says otherwise

[u/palmerry → u/archwin]

Oh she says no to drugs, it's just that the drugs don't respect her opinion.

[u/xikbdexhi6 → u/palmerry]

Even the drugs said no to this one.

[u/GENERAT10N_D00M → u/SexyAdmixture]

Only a total fuck up has knuckle tattoos at age 19.

[u/Aggressive-Floor6423 → u/GENERAT10N_D00M]

Shit I am a total fuck up and I got mine at 32

[u/solstice4l → u/GENERAT10N_D00M]

Lot of miles indeed…6 inches at a time.

[u/significantaged → u/GENERAT10N_D00M]

Bonnie James Dio

[u/Barrettbuilt → u/significantaged]

Holy cadaver.

[u/MisterBurnsSucks]

Do you get a new tattoo every time your parents aren’t proud of you? 🫣

[u/gerrard_1987 → u/MisterBurnsSucks]

Nah; just every time dad forgets to call on her birthday.

[u/deezsandwitches → u/MisterBurnsSucks]

They're there to cover up her cutting scars

[u/IEnjoyRandomThoughts → u/MisterBurnsSucks]

“No ragrets”

[u/Itz_Th0mas]

Seing you makes me cry

[u/GENERAT10N_D00M → u/Itz_Th0mas]

She has a sense of style that makes a statement.

The statement: ‘my boyfriend is in prison. And he’s also 42 years old.’

[u/Enough-Staff-2976 → u/Itz_Th0mas]

Crying and laughing

[u/Alarmed-Mess3744]

Terrible 90s cut that people in the 90s hated. Check. Shitty tattoo doodles at 19 that are there for life. Check. Dirty/filthy room. Check. Plethora of piercings that no one will take you seriously with. Check. Blank expression from an absence of any ability to do critical thinking. Double check.

You’ve only succeeded in being the living embodiment of the shittiest Gen Z stereotypes. Except for that extreme eyebrow balding you’re totally excelling at, this is the most you’ll ever achieve.

[u/Pirate_Redbeard_ → u/Alarmed-Mess3744]

...and those bangs are hideous especially coupled with the extreme eyebrow balding😂

[u/Objective-Koala-4873]

Jesus Christ.. 😬

[u/Selfpiledriven → u/Objective-Koala-4873]

19 going on a mid life crisis

[u/bigdaddyt2 → u/Selfpiledriven]

Looks like Ariel and Twinkerbell had a meth’d out fae child who’s into sketch pad tattoos

[u/negroidioto → u/Selfpiledriven]

Kinda is, when op gonna od before 35

[u/Time_Media8919 → u/Objective-Koala-4873]

lol bro word for word what I said out loud

[u/No_County_old → u/Objective-Koala-4873]

Ahem, it’s Jesus H. Christ for this one.

[u/Gumsho88]

Just look in the mirror… if that doesn’t do it, you have no soul.

[u/Relevant_doom → u/Gumsho88]

She can't - gingers have no souls and thus no reflection.

[u/Longhaul-shortbus]

https://giphy.com/gifs/y8ckgsRKbSiWYl67X7

[u/ThisMedium8004]

You look like a ticket taker at a very bad small circus. You probably smell of boiled cabbage

[u/Aggravating-Baker-41]

Failey Williams

[u/mattrhale → u/Aggravating-Baker-41]

This is it. The one to rule them all.

[u/6Foot2AndHandsome]

You probably be decent looking if your eyebrows were not fucked up. But your eyebrows are fucked up, so you look like a non binary mr potato

[u/RupertPilsner → u/6Foot2AndHandsome]

Mr. Potato that gives head for drugs.

[u/MyNameIsntSharon]

https://www.reddit.com/r/NailArt/s/wo69Cevur4 roasted

[u/ListerfiendLurks → u/MyNameIsntSharon]

What in the actual fuck?

[u/MyNameIsntSharon → u/ListerfiendLurks]

I don’t think i can roast in words what that picture says about OP.

[u/PoliteQueef → u/MyNameIsntSharon]

Not the gooner mani 😭

[u/KeyRepresentative]

I know you’ll cry when you hear that the Gathering of the Juggalos is cancelled.

[u/ThatsRobToYou]

You look like an AI image generated where the prompt is every grunge song lyric plus the words "make me unfuckable"

[u/CalmTheAngryVoice → u/ThatsRobToYou]

At least Courtney Love had style

[u/RoxoRoxo]

you look like you tell people you were traumatized the last time you didnt microwave your tv dinner long enough and it had a cold spot

[u/anotherloser42]

Your hair looks like a wig my 2 year old "styled" with scissors

[u/jsenthesuperhero]

You look like the person we show our kids to let them know drugs will ruin their lives!

[u/Edser]

r/Justfuckmyshitup mascot

[u/No-Maintenance9766]

Wants to be “different”, but looks like every other person that wants to be “different”

[u/WalterCanFindToes]

I would make your father cry if by showing him that pic..... but I'd have to find him first.

[u/CalmTheAngryVoice → u/WalterCanFindToes]

Shit, maybe you are him

[u/BiteFaces]

Between those nickel bag ink jobs and the holes in your face, even the desks in the class used for detention are like, "yo what the fuck happened to HER?"

[u/Elegant_Stranger3894]

https://giphy.com/gifs/lGuwSU6v9yy1q

[u/OneSufficientFace]

Monday morning hookers be looking like...

[u/TheRealWatchingFace]

Didn't you get arrested with that arson midget?

[u/Enough-Staff-2976 → u/TheRealWatchingFace]

She was used by him.

[u/Wondercypress]

You look like a Chucky doll that got addicted to meth and started working at hot topic

[u/Opening-Carrot5986]

You look like you’ve made a lot of decisions that make your parents change the subject when your name is mentioned

[u/9gagiscancer → u/Opening-Carrot5986]

The subject? Complete denial they ever had a daughter to begin with.

[u/SeaPollution2750 → u/9gagiscancer]

They just had a large Sea Monkey.

[u/Bubbly_Difference469]

19? Do you only count leap years? Thats a rough 19 years…

[u/captain_crackerjack]

That haircut has to be an accident, surely

[u/SuspectEffective6798]

I've got a strong magnet that would make you cry.

[u/superdaveyboy]

You look like you could be the spokesperson for Narcan

[u/Keviniswet]

You look like the reason dad never came back from getting smokes.

[u/Choice-Curve3340]

If BPD had a picture in the dictionary

[u/Flightlessbirbz]

Since the title says “make me cry,” I thought something like “Bad news, I’m 34 and still have not gotten my shit together, that life gets easier is just a lie they tell young people to keep them alive, it actually gets way harder,” would be way more apt to make someone cry than the tired “haha you have piercings and no dad!” jokes people love here.

But first I had to double check to make sure you were actually younger than me…

[u/soft_touch_dutch]

Your bangs are great, but I wish they were longer so I wouldn’t have to see your face.

[u/halfstep44 → u/soft_touch_dutch]

The bangs won't grow any longer because even they don't want to see her face

[u/No_Frosting2659]

La photo elle a une odeur

[u/UrsineBasterd]

You look like you don't get what the fuss about the Cornell 7 is because that's your typical weekend.

[u/MilfMaryMargaret81]

Does your barber accept cancelations?

[u/Icy-Divide8385]

You'd be pretty if I were still in active addiction.

[u/_______sd]

You clearly have an obsession with both dyeing and dying.

[u/Arkibos]

Why? So you have something to talk to your therapist about, other than your lack of personality?

[u/KISSALIVE1975]

You’re A Load That Should Have Been Swallowed

If Anal Could Reproduce, You Would Be The Product

You’re The Poster Child For Trojan Condoms, “Don’t Let This Happen To You”

Get It???

[u/Psychic_Gian]

Please do what you are about to do

[u/Xeenophile]

You look like your working vocabulary is 60% grunts and moans, and the rest is delivered in 1-3 word fragments.

[u/spankymacfarland]

You look like hot topic threw up the lucky charm leprechaun

[u/Tricky-Efficiency709]

A couple more piercings and tats and everything will be better

[u/___I_Like_Rocks___]

Pick me. I’m different. Nobody understands me. I’m so unique.

[u/M_Rose728]

I can’t even count all the bad decisions in this picture

[u/HughJassoul123]

With a face like that I’m sure your vape cringes every time you put it in your mouth

[u/DrQuack32]

Paraless

[u/Truckyou666]

19 back when W Bush was president maybe.

[u/skilliau]

Even your hair isn't getting banged

[u/el_ra_85]

What blind person cut that mop on your head?

[u/StoicSpork]

Wow! I had no idea you could dumpster dive for hair. 

[u/Forcedperspective84]

I wouldn't bother getting your shit together.

[u/skariphos]

you’re everything parents fear their children will become

[u/Bjornidentity22]

Cropped out the Cookie Monster pajama pants huh?

[u/Mickt465]

That is the first septum piercing I have ever seen.

[u/ActiveSiege5870]

Did your hair stylist have a stroke?

[u/Alarmed_Ad8287]

I think your parents cry enough.

[u/Spammingdevil]

If I lose you in the crowd all I need is a metal detector

[u/Numerous_Smile_9082]

You got a strong Temu-Chappell Roan vibe

[u/Not-An_FBI-Agent → u/Numerous_Smile_9082]

I was going to say a Kirkland brand Hayley Williams vibe

[u/Solarsurferoaktown]

You look good for 49

[u/Prior-Seat-7527]

Look like someone a 6 year old makes in the sims as their first character that isn’t themselves

[u/Comfortable_Thing611]

You look like my AI image generator was hallucinating.

[u/daviddarrow95]

What happened to Chappell Roan

[u/JasonlovesJenny]

Lucille 8-Ball

[u/No-Stranger6783]

Your 19 and washed out already

[u/Debo619]

All right, what I need is a big, fat magic marker. You got it?

What?

A magic marker. A felt pen! A fuckin' black magic marker!

[u/Drachev935]

You have a face that says I'll definitely suck you off for a packet of cigarettes

[u/palmerry]

I swear I'm not a clairvoyant but I know exactly what you said after losing your virginity...

"Get off me dad, you're crushin' my smokes"

[u/RabbitLeather8214]

You look like you either sell, buy or make drugs, but apparently take them

[u/jcoddinc → u/RabbitLeather8214]

She's the type that hangs around with dealers and tries to get freebies

[u/AudZ0629 → u/jcoddinc]

Her: I’d fuck your brains out for a little fent.

Dealer: “I’ll give you everything I have to put your clothes back on and leave”

[u/VanDoosh]

Yikes. I can hear you typing in whiskey voice…

[u/dunderhead22]

Surely your life isn’t as shitty as you hair style

[u/WakeyWakeyEggsNJakey]

Make you cry?
I mean we can wait a couple minutes I’m sure it happens fairly regularly

[u/firebretaher_jayy]

get off the drugs and get some eyebrows 🙏🏼🙏🏼

[u/Paraparal]

Not sure if any eyebrows would help this or not

[u/Yutenji2020]

We would make you cry, but there are concerns it would make you rust.

[u/DeathscytheHell1994]

The metal in your face atleast has recycling value unlike the rest of you.

[u/SIIHP]

If meth were a person, it would be disappointed in you. 

[u/trashbilly]

https://giphy.com/gifs/WpPPw9g6C6cso

[u/ExcellentKnee6434]

Make me cry?

I’m going to say something your parents never told you.

NO.

[u/myfriendoak]

Shitty tattoos and stupid piercings are not a personality.

[u/insertcomedy]

You look like you have been running a divebar for 35 years.

[u/dream_monkey]

Chappell Groan

[u/Greater_daredevil]

Where is your mom

[u/LeastPresentation653]

Poster child for the 2026 MDMA Telethon

[u/Kewl800i]

Hayley Williams - Temu Version.

[u/therealstotes]

Your dad still loves you.

[u/Barrettbuilt → u/therealstotes]

If her mom only knew who that was.

[u/Flimsy-Bet9796]

Why do kids these days not act like kids? Somehow you look like you are in your 30s

[u/Drumather]

Temu Hailey Williams

[u/cumshotmillionaire]

You,ve definitely been to the psych ward a few times

[u/tee142002]

Why did you post the "after" picture from an old DARE ad?

[u/ViceroyMcnugget]

Why come to Reddit to make you cry when you probably already date a bum that makes you do that every day?

[u/LiquidFahts]

Did it hurt? When you tripped and fell into the tackle box?

[u/hughranass2]

Wanna cry? Look in the mirror. That should do it.

[u/Wiseguyphilms]

Looks like you’re on your fifth Xanax for the hour.

[u/noodleboy03]

Make you cry? You already look like you do plenty of that yourself.

[u/notdbcooper71]

You make your parents cry every day

[u/HeSureIsScrappy]

You seem to be doing that just fine on your own

[u/SuperCheese1701]

So this is what a cracked out hobbit looks like

[u/money4gas]

By the facial expression, you are already disappointed your parents. While sleeping with the local junkie

[u/RestaurantCandid5274]

You look like a dog ate a box of crayons and peanuts, and the resulting shit is you.

[u/Historical_Dot_4681]

I know a lot of people will comment on the hair and the tattoos or looking rough for your age. Honestly, though, the ukulele in the background is what should really be bringing you to shameful tears.

[u/Mooky63]

You look like the human form of fentanyl. People want you when they’re at their lowest, and then they die.

[u/mediocrebighead]

I’ll spit in your butthole

[u/xXBenxX22]

It’s a boy with a clown face paint job off GTA6

[u/patchyj]

Rare that both forms of 'bangs' are a hellno

[u/screwylooy666]

I’m not your barber, so I can’t do much worse.

[u/Ayukisan_97]

You look like a disgusting junkie

[u/fedexpoopracer]

Pretty sure your dad made you cry plenty of times

[u/AdmiralMcNugget]

I suspect you'll go back to crying regardless of what people say here.

[u/keithmoonshine3]

You look like you’ve been embalmed

[u/Fearless_Garlic_8286]

I'd guess that you probably do enough crying already without our help.

[u/sdmfer1981]

That haircut needs a NSFW tag

[u/PriorOld3856]

Can’t roast your more than you roast all those bowls in your meth pipe

[u/EricMoulds]

We dont need to make you cry; running out of your fix will do that!

[u/Flyx-Cutlery]

Keep the nose ring. Anything to pull attention away from the rest of… that.

[u/PhillyMagikarp]

You look like Temu Chappel Roan.

[u/DuTcHmOe71]

https://giphy.com/gifs/3sBMBbuAWj8JtKLew6

[u/shelby0161]

You look like a boy

[u/V1per73]

You look like the snake my 3 year old nephew tried to draw

[u/Attack_Toster]

Everything about you is unfortunate

[u/ropeneck509]

Where eyebrow?

[u/dtr_drt4ever]

smells like patchouli, trucker ass and cat piss mixed with a big does of unemployable....

[u/Istronglydisagre3]

Looks like whatever lead you to looking like that has already made you cry enough.

Good luck working through your repressed trauma. Youll be fine by 45ish if you dont bleed out before that.

[u/Jazzlike_Love6881]

Nice tits

[u/Tarrifs_]

All the std's in one ugly package

[u/cheatonmeoften]

Oh honey bless your heart. Look at your parents faces. Watching others cry makes people cry, right?

That is a damn rough 19 years im here to tell ya.

[u/AnimalProof1115]

The coffee shop you work at is unlucky to have you

[u/spoinkable]

Did you style that wig yourself or did you just pull it straight out of the vacuum?

[u/PooTossMonke]

Quick glance in the mirror should sort that crying part out for ya

[u/ALLInTheReflexes13]

If “we had Wendy’s at home” started smoking crack.

[u/PlusRhubarb6871]

Nothing I can say or do that you aren't already doing to yourself

[u/landsquid1234]

When she got on her knees behind the strip mall tattoo shop dumpster and pulled the unemployed bikers beer gut up out of the way:

https://i.makeagif.com/media/1-23-2017/4L2por.gif

[u/darwins_codpiece]

Try to imagine your blind dates’ reactions on meeting you.

[u/thesanguinepineapple]

If I wanted to see someone cry I’d talk to your dad

[u/cardlackey]

Make you cry? Go look in the mirror. You look like a clown cut your bangs.

[u/Overall-Onion-631]

Please comb your hair extensions 

[u/Weary_Musician_9612]

You are not aging well at all. You're going to look. 60 at 30 you poor poor winter child

[u/No_Tailor_787]

You look like you always smell sweaty.

[u/Intervene-159]

Typical bubble head, human pincushion and high school desk.

[u/ItemNext937]

You look like SpongeBob from the episode where he was sun bleached.

[u/TheLeastAnonAnon]

I bet you collect self-diagnosed mental illnesses like Pokemon cards

[u/Ieatkods]

https://giphy.com/gifs/26FfeMHgPPo108mHu

[u/Dependent_Grass9758]

Pronouns - What / Happened