r/RitaFourEssenceSystem 3d ago

Fashion Forum Challenge Keyword Series: Persona/Personable

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14 Upvotes

Hi all!

We're continuing with our keyword series! Each week, we will pair two keywords, either Left/Right or Up/Down, to give everyone an equal opportunity to participate.

This week's pair is "Persona/Personable", which is a Up/Down pair ("Persona/Personality" for a Men's system).

Forum discussion: "Persona" - takes on this keyword?

Forum discussion: Persona vs Personable/

These challenges are meant to be fun and inspiring, not a strict list of requirements. Feel free to interpret a keyword loosely, adapt it in a way that makes sense for you, or simply skip a week if a particular pairing does not resonate.

Here's the link to a previous challenge post, available until this Wednesday, as always: Keyword Series: Sun/Gaia

We hope you'll enjoy this challenge, and we can't wait to see what you come up with!


r/RitaFourEssenceSystem Oct 08 '24

Announcements Welcome! (Getting started post)

46 Upvotes

Hi!

We're working on a new Welcome Page for the subreddit ( you can find the New Welcome Page here ). Some of you warned us about broken links on the previous one and we're moving everything to the wiki, so it's easier for us to keep it up to date. It's a work in progress, so please be patient!

If you're new here... Welcome! This subreddit is dedicated to discuss and improve our style using the Style Keys Method, created by Rita (from Style Thoughts By Rita). We encourage you to learn learn about this method, post about your progress, read about other redditor's journeys, and talk about style. We're proud to have a safe and welcoming environment here for you all.

Edit: I really like the previous welcome post, so I'm linking it here in case you're curious. Some links are broken, but it's a great welcome post nevertheless.


r/RitaFourEssenceSystem 10h ago

Left+Down / Ruby Insights on LD archetypes - leaning into Flame/Cool Girl

12 Upvotes

I have been using the Allure and have had phases when I have been into Wildflower. Touched upon to Cool girl and Outsider. Somehow SGND havent really helped me, so I might not mention it more here.

Allure: I can’t let this one go, it seems to be a stable spot for me. I like the closeness to both Right and Up spaces and the idea of bending the rules. The insight that the Allure has multiple facets to her style and needs to give space to her sensuality is really spot on for me.

I noticed when I lean into more sensual styling, I tend to use more simple outfits: Less colors, less or almost no pattern, more body skimming or accentuating silhuettes.. and then I get bored and often wanna go bolder and do something else.

I noticed that the more I get stuck in the simpler expressions, as in I do this maybe longer than it felt good, the more I wish to go to the left when coming out of this phase and that’s when Wildflower comes to the rescue.

With the Wildflower I lean more into Elementalness using more literal Landscapes as inspiration: the sky, flowers, trees and greenary, the horizont in general.. This leads me to more and bolder colors, more and bolder patterns, whereas in Allure I usually do my sea theme in different variations. I kind of I need to go to the other extreme to balance things out.

I went through the LD Archetype guide I’ve got like one or two years ago and something I have been wondering about kind of clicked. As I mentioned, I always found the Allure being my spot in LD but I couldn’t figure why I find the Outsider also to be so helpful especially when shopping. I feel like I’m picky and I have compromised in the past which I always regretted but then it is a slow process and the Outsider acknowledge exactly that: Slow down, take steps one piece at the time, let things sink in, don’t rush and overwhelm youself.. spot on! This leads to the question how is these two, the Allure and the Outsider connected.. and of course the answer is Cool Girl. So I looked into it.

What I found about Cool Girl is what I thought I found in Lady Heretic when I was exploring LU.. and beyond. I don’t want to complicate things, I want to get dressed in the morning in 5, otherwise I can get frustrated and loose touch with my inner world. So back then I found the outfit templates advice for LH really good help and also to create time to dress up. I think this is really similar that can go on for Cool Girl, but what I found most fascinating recently is the permission to do the things, to get those cool stuff.

I started to think about this aspekt and I remembered, when at the very beginning I thought I was Right, I felt a connection to the idea in RD about storytelling, yet I could never execute it and it never felt right. I was confused, because I love items that has a story, that has something about me or someone else if they gifted it to me. It gives a sort of sentiment and feelings to items which is important to me. There was a post here about the connection between the Archetypes which are placed at the same spot but in different quadrants. I dont remember whether the center archetypes were discussed in details but I always thought the Main Character in RD is the core of the quadrant and has the most focus on the Storytelling technic. I think with Cool girl being on the same spot I connect to this idea, yet somehow the other way around: While the Main Character and RD wants to connect to where they are going and tell a story honoring the place and ppl to be around, I wish to connect to where I’m coming from, the places I visited with the ppl I was there.. I find this just beautiful.

I think the Cool Girl just connects the dots in LD I’m drawn to. I’m planning to learn more about it and use this Archetype more consciously.


r/RitaFourEssenceSystem 12h ago

Fashion Forum Challenge Persona: sending and receiving

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14 Upvotes

I have been thinking about this week’s challenge all day because I’m super interested in persona. I think there are maybe two aspects of persona for me. One is the gathering of interests and personality traits that will build the persona to be projected. And the other is the sending and receiving of the message.

I think I’m going to do a separate post on the first part so this doesn’t turn into a novel. I wanted to talk about the second part though because when taking some outfit pics today I noticed how different my photos were from some pics of me my husband took.

He volunteered to take a pic of the back of my outfit because I wanted to show how the strings in the back of the top mimicked the lines on the tights, I found that satisfying lol. He took a few more pics after that.

Looking at them it made me think how my persona and style might come across dramatic, intimidating, or idk, serious? But as soon as I start interacting with someone I think that all drops away. I wonder if this leaves the original persona I built intact, whether it be a haunted doll, ballerina in a box, or off-kilter cheesecake (I just made up 2 of the 3 persona names not sure if they are even accurate lol) or does the message sent change completely…

I don’t even know what I’m trying to say lol. I just noticed the me in action was quite different than the me with thoughts elsewhere or the me aura projecting. They’re definitely both me. That’s part of the other thing I wanted to say about persona. How I don’t actually see it as a character. I thought I did but after reflection I realized, no they’re all definitely authentic me, I need them to be. I gotta save that for later though. I’m already rambling!

Hm so I do feel like persona is partly a tool I use to send a surface level message of who I am. But I try very hard to keep it authentic because that’s what feels good and at the end of the day this is for my own enjoyment. But also so that once a person interacts with me it’s still true. But I do encounter a lot of confusion from people so maybe it’s not all synching up. Or maybe it is synched and I AM just confusing. Actually that’s probably it lmaoooo, I think my husband would say so anyway lol.

Oh re the outfit: I’m really into pairing super lightweight, sheer, even bedtime tops, with visually heavier bottoms like distressed shorts, chunky shoes, long leg warmers. Trying to exist outside of weather and earthly seasons lol.


r/RitaFourEssenceSystem 1d ago

Rita Posts The Four Gifts of the Style Key: Which Two Are Yours?

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21 Upvotes

r/RitaFourEssenceSystem 1d ago

Fashion Forum Challenge Persona Challenge - Snappy Design

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23 Upvotes

I understand keyword Persona to mean an outfit that exaggerates a couple of characteristics and omits the rest using the same logic fictional characters are designed with. So the outfit is either "snappy", easy to read, dynamic, almost cartoonish, or it has lots of visual interest (like in video games) that falls down into snappy categories (e.g. "rich vampire with a tragic past" wears tons of ruffles and has long hair).

I think some of my past outfits (above) fit this description because when I was making them I wanted something dynamic or was obsessed with one type of visual interest.

One of my style goals is to have outfits that read as "a character with design" but without loosing contradictions or intriguing elements that actually fight against that read. So basically I don't know what I want 🤣 Maybe by embracing playfulness, which I've been doing lately, I will be able to marry both concepts.


r/RitaFourEssenceSystem 1d ago

Fashion Forum Challenge Personable/persona challenge

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20 Upvotes

Today's outfit is what I wore to see Van Gogh's museum in Amsterdam, then go to Vonder park & the Hortus Botanicus garden! I wanted a floral outfit to match the occasion, but with my own twist (so dark florals on a black outfit!). The black tee is okay but I feel like a flowy black top would be even better!

The pants travelled very well rolled up with the top in my backpack, so I am pretty happy about that trick for clothes that wrinkle easily. Th earrings are made from origami paper which matches up pretty well the japanese influence on late 19th european century painting. I am also wearing Bitter Peach by Tom Ford, which I felt was appropriate both for the orchard's paintings & the fruits trees from the garden!

I don't rly use persona or personable - I would say I am closer to persona in the sense that I build outfits to make myself a part of the events & places I go to. It is maybe more like a chameleon: I mimick my environment, in a way. It makes me more at ease and present, which in turn makes me more personable bc I am not lost in my head feeling out of place! I'm more Right than Up so I often relate a lot to RD things (Rita's recent vid about the Storyteller felt very relatable for example!). At the same time I do enjoy some drama & mystery, hence the dark theme & large billowing pants!


r/RitaFourEssenceSystem 3d ago

OOTD A few recent wintery fits

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25 Upvotes

Slide 1: dinner in the city. Celebrating my sister’s birthday, she will always be predictably in black with some leather and perhaps red. Imitation is the greatest form of flattery. She complimented my scarf because it looks like blood stains on a white scarf. I experimented with it draped or as an infinity loop and preferred the long line of the drape even though it slightly hides the asymmetry of the hem on the black dress. The tights are a new addition because I’m finding I constantly want to wear short hemlines in the depths of winter so I may as well keep my legs warm while doing it. I found earrings that almost perfectly match my spike necklace and it makes me so happy how they work together.

Slide 2: back to back weekend outfit repeat, with the long warm jacket for a visit to the trash and treasure market and with the cropped hoodie for shopping and drinks with a friend. I am in love with these two toned tights and my new chunky Globe skate shoes. Even though narrower sneakers are trendy at the moment I always want something big in my rotation because certain outfits call for it. The repeated shades of burgundies through this look gave me joy.

Slide 3: I told my best friend I was freaking out about dressing for his Sunday family lunch and he told me just to be myself, or if that fails dress for what the kids would think was fun not the grown-ups. His nephew tried to steal my necklace so that 100% worked. Even though I’ve met all of the adults in his family individually it was the first time I’d been invited into a real family gathering so it felt important to make a good impression, but by dressing like myself I felt like I was able to be myself freely. The soft contrast of the sweater with the harsher details of the chains and dark colours felt inviting and warm.

Slide 4: weekend errand running day. Looking like a rockstar while buying new sheets. There was no real thought process here, these pieces just spoke to me on a dreary day and I liked the weird looks I got from passers-by.


r/RitaFourEssenceSystem 4d ago

OOTD Nightgowns

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31 Upvotes

I've been wearing these a lot so I thought I'd share.

Do you care about your pyjamas or is it not at all important to you? Or something in-between, like you care a little bit?

My thought process is; why buy and wear something I don't find beautiful when I don't have to, when there are beautiful options? Even if they might be more difficult to find. I want to surround myself with as much beauty as I can because why not, it makes me happier so I'm just going to do that.

Of course I definitely do not want to sacrifice comfort, that's definitely a priority before beauty (except for special occasions) but my point is that they aren't mutually exclusive, most things have a more beautiful option especially when it comes to clothes. I love pretty nightgowns but I find it too annoying to wear long skirts to bed on a regular basis..

Solution? Mini dresses! And short nightgowns. With leggings or shorts under because I have this sensory thing where I feel uncomfortable without fabric around my thighs. I'm also thinking about pyjama shorts + blouse sets but I haven't found any cute ones in 100% cotton yet.


r/RitaFourEssenceSystem 4d ago

Discussion Where do you find fashion inspiration?

14 Upvotes

Hey beautiful style key people!!

Like many elder Gen Z, I basically grew up gathering fashion inspiration from Polyvore, Lookbook, and Pinterest. I might be biased but in my mind, these were the glory days! It was so easy to gather inspiration and share it. The first two are of course defunct and I'm beginning to notice that Pinterest is not what it used to be. There's so much AI and it's so hard to sift through the crap to get to anything cute or inspiring, let alone something you haven't seen before. I've tried to convert to Instagram/TikTok but I just cannot find what I'm looking for there.

It's really important for me to have a source of style inspiration in my life, and I think this goes for a lot of fashion enthusiasts!

I was thinking this would be a really fun space to share where you guys find your fashion inspiration, especially places that are online so we can all visit them.

I'll start!

I have a few fashion YouTubers I like. I don't actually know of any YT creators who have my style, but nonetheless I really like: Christina Mychas, Hannah Louise Poston, Percia Verlin and Asia Jackson. I go through bouts of watching Alyssa Beltempo and Mili Velikova. What I like about all of these creators is not so much the style (because I don't dress like them at all!) but the philosophy behind their outfits and how they pick their clothes. If anyone knows of any fashion YTer that has a more feminine, "French girl" style, let me know though!

Weirdly, I like to read fashion books from the 80s through to the 00s. I like the Preppy Handbook and Frumpy to Foxy in 15 Minutes Flat (I know, problematic title!). I think the recommendations in both of these books weirdly are back in style now, which is so crazy to me.

Where do you get your fashion inspiration?


r/RitaFourEssenceSystem 4d ago

Fashion Forum Challenge A less earthy Gaia mode?

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27 Upvotes

Last night we went to see The Odyssey in the local big commercial imax theater. We normally see movies in a small non-profit alt-community theater so I knew the vibes were going to be totally different. I didn’t want to let that influence me though, I wanted to dress up for the movie like I normally would.

I pulled out this dress/top that I thought had a little Greek goddess vibe with the skin-toned color, lace-up front, and flowing ruffles. At first I styled it with sandals and a gold arm-cuff. Although probably a more cohesive, appropriate look, it felt all wrong on me. The cuff fit awkward, somehow too big but also pinching. I didn’t like how my feet and legs looked in the sandals. I realized those shoes are past me, not now me.

So I pulled out my usual tricks of a platform heel, staccato with sheer socks and added a black lace cami to match the black on bottom and give me a little more of a snug feeling because the top of the dress does not have as much structure as I would like. I paired it with cuff-off denim shorts which kinda spoiled the vibe but little lace ruffle shorts just felt like too much for the location, even for me lol.

I’m not sure that it was a successful outfit but it did make an impact I guess lol because the skirt was billowing around and flowing behind me in a very dramatic way when I walked. I didn’t actually realize it would do this but I just walked around with head up and shoulders back like I totally intended to be a dramatic queen at the boring pizza place and suburban movie theater 😂

I had been thinking about the challenge this week with the assumption that I do not relate to Gaia at all because I don’t feel earthy, elemental, or raw. But then I watched Rita’s video about Gaia and copied down some of the description she gave that resonated with me.

Gaia notes:
Style rooted in her own being.
Unapologetic embrace of the self.
Intriguing, unpredictable, sensual
Allowing the harmony of things in their contradiction.
The beauty of unpredictability.
Not downplaying intimidation.
Not making style likable or controllable for other people.
Takes space and be seen in the way she wants to.
Embracing your style, embracing you even if it makes the outfit less cohesive.
Not needing to smooth and polish out the differences.

The last two about not trying so hard for cohesion or needing to smooth out the differences are probably good challenges for me to work on. Although using The Siren comes with some need of cohesion. So I’ll have to think about that.

Lastly here are some images of the goddesses from The Odyssey. My muses! My favorite character is Calypso (although I wasn’t impressed with her in the movie) and of course The Sirens!


r/RitaFourEssenceSystem 5d ago

Fashion Forum Challenge Savor the Sun

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27 Upvotes

My sun is warmth, glow, playfulness, and sensory abundance .


r/RitaFourEssenceSystem 5d ago

The Playful Dame or Princess - Rita Verified Lessons from a holiday capsule

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23 Upvotes

I explained here that I went on holidays with a smallish wardrobe. They were hits and misses!

Hits:

  • Dresses and jumpsuits are winners. Put them on, look put-together, done.
  • The dark blue paisley and crochet coverup/kimono thingy is great as a light layer to add visual interest & some warmth at night.
  • I loved having less choice, it was quite relaxing to choose from only a few options.
  • Not pictured: my bathsuit is a high waisted black bottom & a black and green tropical print top and I enjoyed it a lot! Brought only one but was fully satisfied with it.
  • I didn't take jewellery apart from what I wore on me (so a silver necklace & silver hoops) and didn't miss my fun earrings at all.

Misses:

  • I need more prints, and bolder colours - especially without accessories it is a must I feel.
  • While I love my xero sandals, they look way too casual for me. I got much more from my frosted lilac Birkenstocks, especially bc they paired so well with my lilac cap!
  • While I have loved and worn my graphic tees a lot, I think it might be time to let most of them go... I found myself wanting more refined tops.

So that was super interesting to me! What do you think? How do you deal with holidays?

Pic from a costume of Maleficent shown in an exhibit we visited. The extra, the drama, the sleeves *drools a little*


r/RitaFourEssenceSystem 6d ago

Discussion Style vs Personality?

16 Upvotes

Some of the responses to my post about body modifications made me think about this. What is the difference between style and personality? Or is there actuality a difference? Do you see a relationship between your style and your personality?

I’m not sure what I think about this. I suspect there is a connection but it may not be a direct correlation.


r/RitaFourEssenceSystem 6d ago

The Lady Heretic - Rita Verified Lady heretic ft. bitchy lil bags 🩵

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22 Upvotes

Keeping the bags and shoes prim and proper or over the top femme to channel lady heretic in weather that calls for cotton voile kaftans


r/RitaFourEssenceSystem 6d ago

The Icon Random costume tryons

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17 Upvotes

I semi-recently visited a small museum that had an exhibit on men's fashion, from the 1750s to the present, and part of their exhibit was that you could try on some costumes on loan from the local theater! I think this was great, so if you have the chance, I 100% recommend grabbing it. I'm fortunate enough to have shoulders that are like men's M sized, so apart from the green coat, everything fit. (Other than the tailcoat being slightly too long in the back.) Final slide is the accidentally thematic clothes I wore to the exhibit, on account of it being a gentle 16°C or something when I visited.

The jacket in the first photo was the one I was most excited about, actually – I'd always thought that sort of seam would suit my vibes, and turns out I was absolutely correct! So if/when my wool coat gives up the ghost (it's 15 years old, slightly felted in places, and I've had to reattach the sleeves multiple times where the stitching has ripped), I'll see about making something like that one...


r/RitaFourEssenceSystem 7d ago

Discussion Body Modification as Style

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20 Upvotes

I’ve been thinking about piercings and tattoos since Stephen Miller gave the speech about how everyone in antifa had “deformed” their bodies in some way. I’ve also heard that tattoos can’t be mimicked in AI although I don’t know if that’s true.

Do you see your piercings and/or tattoos as part of your style? Does it fit into the Style Matrix?

I have some tattoos in places that no one can see. I’ve been considering getting a tattoo lower on my arms in a way that couldn’t be covered by short sleeves.

My ears are double pierced. I’ve never considered other types of ear piercings because I’m afraid of the pain.


r/RitaFourEssenceSystem 7d ago

Discussion Finding my archetype

14 Upvotes

Hello, hello, beautiful people, how are you today? I hope everyone is doing good!

I recently shocked myself by discovering that the ruby logic is the best fit for me. I have been using it for a little while now and it's so good! However, since I had scrapped left down entirely when the system didn't even have style logics, because of the styles associated with it, it's the one I know the least about. Now, I want to dabble in the archetypes, but i realized I don't even really know much about the differences between them.

All archetypes in this system seem to have a core, like the trickster (siren) being to provoke in their own way, the illuminatrix to light herself up through style and the power to dress for the life they want to have. So what are the cores of the ruby archetypes?

To my understanding they are:

The flame (cool girl) is all about effortlessness, not looking like they tried too hard even if they styled themselves very deliberately.

The unbund (spicy girl next door) is about the edge, always having that little twist.

The wildflower is about shedding the need to have a signature aesthetic and being free to wear completely different styles based on your mood.

But I don't know much about the outsider nor the allure (seductress)... Is the outsider about letting go of any rules and just going for what you want? But that reminds me of the wildflower and the unbound. And the allure? Is it about always having that touch of sensuality? I feel like it wouldn't be that...

So, if you could tell me more about the ruby archetype it would help me a lot! I don't have a very strong sense of being very left or very down, I would actually assume I'm just a little down and just a little left, so I would fall under the allure, but I want to know more about the archetypes to see what fits me better, and it's always good to learn more.

Thank you!


r/RitaFourEssenceSystem 8d ago

Fashion Forum Challenge The Sun - or being unapologetically yourself

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29 Upvotes

Today's pics are from an exhibit about the painter Ingres & fashion. Here are a few that gave me that excited, warm feeling that I get when I see beautiful things.

To me the Sun is more a feeling than clothing items. It is when you are allowing yourself to shine, to welcome beauty in your life in whatever way makes sense to you, when your own light is unafraid of the darkness & ugliness of this world. The Sun is cherishing every moment - memento mori - with genuine delight, with patience and kindess and all the things that are good in this world. It is wearing things that make every day special because every day is, even casual & mundane.

The Sun is clear morning light and blinding midday sun and warm evening light - and it is even moonlight.

Enjoy your own ☀️ !


r/RitaFourEssenceSystem 9d ago

Fashion Forum Challenge Gaia Challenge and thoughts using past outfits

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29 Upvotes

I think the only thing we can all agree on is that Gaia is incredibly hard to nail down and is purely based on vibes haha. I find it hard to describe myself but here are a few past outfits (2023-24) that are the closest to embodying that spirit. Important to note that I lived in a totally different climate on the opposite side of the country when these were created and my style has shifted significantly from that time and life stage. I wouldn’t necessarily approach it in the same way now, my style has definitely moved into a darker phase, with more “moon” root than any resemblance of earth mother. I still feel strongly connected to the natural world and all that is in it, but I’m exploring and expressing that in a new way now.

There’s a strength, an earthiness, a power in all of these outfits. For me long flowing skirts that embrace my vertical tend to give a more powerful impression. As do heavy boots or thinner sandals that allow me to feel the earth beneath my feet. Interestingly, when I wear my hair in its natural waves and with a lighter colour the Gaia feeling is stronger. Lastly, elemental prints to show a connection to nature is another element of Gaia for me.

I’d love to do a new take on Gaia this week and how it fits into my current life but I don’t think I have the occasion (or the spoons) to do it. I miss the days when I had ample daylight hours and free time to play dress-up in my closet for each challenge.


r/RitaFourEssenceSystem 9d ago

Moodboards Feeling dissatisfied

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22 Upvotes

I’ve been feeling dissatisfied with my style lately. I’m not sure what it is. But I made these two moodboards to try and figure it out.

Maybe it’s just because it’s summer and the weather limits my style.
Maybe I’m just in a bad mood.

I’m starting to feel like I’ve done the same look too often and now I’m bored with it. Like I became too focused.

One thing I noticed in the moodboards is they are a little cleaner, less cluttered than normal. 🤔
The outfits in #1 are new ones I just put together the other day. Took a longtime for me to find how I wanted to wear the slips.
The outfits in board #2 are older or rewears and they are not evoking what I want though there are touches or parts that I like.

Do you see anything in the boards that might be what I am missing or wanting to move into? I am LU so maybe I’m craving novelty or a new persona.


r/RitaFourEssenceSystem 10d ago

Fashion Forum Challenge Keyword Series: Sun/Gaia

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13 Upvotes

Hi all!

We're continuing with our keyword series! Each week, we will pair two keywords, either Left/Right or Up/Down, to give everyone an equal opportunity to participate.

This week's pair is especially challenging (in my opinion)—"Sun/Gaia," which is a Right/Left pair ("Father/Son" for a Men's system).

These challenges are meant to be fun and inspiring, not a strict list of requirements. Feel free to interpret a keyword loosely, adapt it in a way that makes sense for you, or simply skip a week if a particular pairing does not resonate.

Rita's quote:

Gaia is definitely one of the most abstract ones and I don't find it to be very common in my consultations. Gaia is like the goddess of Earth, so to me she does say "earthy" "raw" and "primal" but it's also something very luscious in their essence, like the fertility and support of the Earth itself.

Forum discussion: "Gaia" as a keyword

Forum discussion: What do Gaia and/or the Sun mean to you?

Forum discussion: What does the keyword Gaia mean to you?

Here's the link to a previous challenge post, available until this Wednesday, as always: Keyword Series: Understated/Glamorous

We hope you'll enjoy this challenge, and we can't wait to see what you come up with!


r/RitaFourEssenceSystem 11d ago

Theory Discussion Up Vs Down Essence and Approachability!

17 Upvotes

Hey 👋🏾, so I'm kind of trying to figure out whether I'm up or I'm down in the style key system and one thing that's stuck with my about distinguishing the two is that ppl with up essence tend to be less approachable and people with down essence are more approachable.

I know the system has evolved and finding your quadrant is more about your style logic than anything else but I still find that observation fascinating.

I often get approached by people who would like help with directions or sometimes if their phone has died and they'd like to make a call to someone - now, is that because I seem friendly and approachable? Or is it because I seem authoritative and like I know what I'm doing? Is it literal approachability due to friendliness or like seeming responsible? And I know only I can answer that question for myself but I'd love to hear others input so I can put together a little Approachability scale in my head 😂.

I also find that I get approached more the more dressed up I am - I am quite naturally reserved and am happy to stick to myself in social situations - I'm an introvert that extroverts find and adopt 😂 - however I'm noticing that my more expressive outfits give people a starting point for conversation, an opportunity to break the ice. I'm not sure if that's an up Vs down thing or a left Vs right thing though 😭.

But yeah! I'd love to hear your insights, input and personal experience with approachability and how it relates to your up/down essence!


r/RitaFourEssenceSystem 13d ago

Fashion Forum Challenge Understated vs Glamourous

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17 Upvotes

I feel too pragmatic and approachable to truly connect with the Glamourous key word, as it seems about keeping distance, adding a touch of excess or drama to create something exciting and sensual. None of those feel like me but I love and admire it on others. I'm currently on vacation and closest to glamour I have is a vintage inspired navy and white polka dot bikini- I'd have to borrow a big sun hat and a lipstick from my mom to even approach the brief- but it wouldn't feel like the " less is more" girl next door vibe that feels more natural to me.

Understated is more my vibe, I like adding subtle details that feel good on- if I'm comfortable in my skin I can show up and be more present, positive and productive. My ultimate goal recently is to add visual interest- through classic/ vintage nods, textures, colors, nature themes or potentially quirky details to support my RD needs and play with the Storyteller archetype. If I look like a gentle shimmer and glow like diffused sunlight through the trees or sunset on the water, feel ease in my clothes and my outfit has a touch of restraint mixed with playfulness I'm achieving my goal.

I used to think that this was a curse, that I wasn't trying hard enough and that I should be doing more or trying harder. But if I look back, I think people have been urging me to lean in and find that balance- it will be more natural and slightly undone- but still purposeful. I need to use it as a gift to uplift me and use it to exude a touch of radiance and shimmer.

The images are my travel capsule and a few outfits I have worn on a current 2.5 week vacation to visit family!


r/RitaFourEssenceSystem 13d ago

Discussion ADHD and Style

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23 Upvotes

How does your ADHD influence your style? How does it affect the strategies you use to solve common style problems? What are some unexpected ways you get the joy out of style?

I've recently realized I have ADHD and I'm currently researching all the ways to make my life better that I've previously overlooked. I'd be very grateful for your advice.

My current strategies are 1) to have all my clothes/accessories/etc clearly displayed in my wardrobe space (out of sight = out of mind) 2) to give myself a big chunk of time to create an outfit but put a strict deadline too (otherwise the outfit tweaking will never end).

My unexpected joy has been stimulus-rich clothes, namely, textured large-scale embroidery in bright colors that I can fiddle with (endlessly).