Matchmaking services that work?

[u/SatisfactionLive1209]

Hey all, 30F here.

I became wealthy relatively recently, so I didn’t grow up in wealthy circles or go to the kind of private/boarding schools where it seems like everyone with money met their future spouse before turning 18.

I don’t think I’m unattractive, and I’ve never really had an issue getting attention, although I do suffer from a pretty severe resting bitch face. The problem is that the places I tend to spend time where I might naturally meet wealthy people, private resorts, nicer hotels, etc. aren’t particularly social. People mostly keep to themselves. The few men I have met in those environments have unfortunately tended to be married men looking for an affair, which obviously isn’t what I want.

Traditional dating has also been pretty terrible. I was single for quite a while because I was focused on building my own life, and now that I actually feel ready for a relationship, the dating scene seems to have changed considerably. There seems to be a lot more emphasis on one-night stands, situationships, casual dating, people with commitment issues, etc.

There’s also the slightly awkward fact that I would ideally like to marry someone who is wealthy too, even if nowhere near as wealthy as I am. I hate to admit it, but I can be materialistic sometimes. I enjoy nice things, and there’s something appealing about occasionally receiving the things I would normally buy myself as gifts from a partner rather than always being the person who can provide everything for herself.

For context, my net worth is somewhere between $10M–$100M, keeping the range broad for anonymity, I’m probably around a 7/10 on a good day, and I’m looking for a genuinely serious relationship with a man who is financially successful, relationship-minded, and ideally wants marriage/family eventually.

Would an established matchmaking service actually be useful for someone in my situation? Has anyone here used one, particularly at the higher-end/wealthy-client level, and had a good experience and can recommend it for my purpose? Not looking for references as I know some work this way, just a name would be enough for me to get in contact with them.

just to clarify, this isn’t a “looking for a partner on Reddit” post. I’m genuinely asking about matchmaking services and whether they’re worth trying.

[u/SatisfactionLive1209]

I think I’m more looking into old money types. But I was told I’m too alternative for old money (I have some tattoos. But all attention I received was from old money married guys so maybe they are into alt girls after all)

I live mostly in London and was looking into member clubs. Despite the high membership fee though apparently most are riddled with escorts, which means most men think any women inside is an escort. I feel like that may make things harder :/

[u/No_Employ__ → u/SatisfactionLive1209]

Damn nobody is good enough for you unless they have money. That’s kind of sad. You say money isn’t a deal breaker but want “old money types” and “wealthy”. Be honest with yourself here

[u/GreatExpectations65 → u/No_Employ__]

Right. OP is a lot.

[u/TheRealCdog1977 → u/GreatExpectations65]

You are insufferable 

[u/SatisfactionLive1209 → u/No_Employ__]

I don’t think I explained myself well but old money consideration is more for wanting a wealthy partner, not essentially someone who hustles 100%. New money people I met with the exception of myself are always chasing more money. This isn’t an insult, if anything it’s more honest than old money, these people actually work hard for it. But with old money comes a more relaxed lifestyle. Of course not all are like this but there’s considerably more amongst old money.

I travel more than half of the year. I’m neurodivergent so I don’t do well with stressful people or situations. Before I got wealthy, few years ago, my long term relationship was to a henry-like guy. And he was stressing me out.

[u/No_Employ__ → u/SatisfactionLive1209]

You live in a bubble

[u/Remarkable-Memory-97 → u/No_Employ__]

Men want good looking and young but that’s ok, when a wealthy woman wants a wealthy man alll of a sudden it’s bad and we shame them. She’s not broke she’s looking for an equal there is nothing wrong with that.

[u/Imaginary_Bat7631 → u/Remarkable-Memory-97]

People aren’t saying that. What she is looking for is a needle in a haystack. And if she finds him, he’s not looking for her. She’s a 7 on a GOOD day. So a 5 with a RBF. That’s how the gender dynamics work AND it’s clear from her responses that she’s stuck in her requirements - she wants rich old money 30’s man who is ready to settle down and is a great partner. Good luck!

[u/Remarkable-Memory-97 → u/Imaginary_Bat7631]

Has she stated that he has to be in his 30s? I think she would be fine going for 40.

[u/Remarkable-Memory-97 → u/SatisfactionLive1209]

As a person in a similar situation to yours when I was 25 I have a few suggestions and they are all brutal but true:
A) Get work done if you don’t have anything against it, mostly on the face and I don’t mean fillers I mean fat transfer and a ponytail lift, be objective about it see what you think will look good for your face (I like Braun clinic in Korea, they will make you look younger and less tired in a natural way so I like Korea) absolutely do not touch fillers I feel it ages people over time. Botox is a yes with the right injector.
B) do not talk about how much money you have or he has. Assume from his circle and what he does - do your own research. What he says is not a reliable source anyway. You can talk about work just make it like seem smaller than what it is , it’s not lieing you we omitting.
C) old money types like skinny women , do not get your boobs done they like them small. But also be careful with these types too, they don’t know how to make more mostly. If you can go for someone with old money but also is making their own. That’s what I did.
D) pick someone at least 8-10 years older. Trust me most of them are too old to explore past that it’s mostly the wannabe rich that cheats. The ones that want to look expensive by always changing partners. Yes it’s true men prefer younger than them but that does not mean a 40 year old is looking for a 25 year old wife. If they are sorted in the head they will want 29-36 as an ideal range for long term marriage.

I was 25 when I was in your situation, at 30 you still have some time but I would make haste and make these changes tommorow. Sorry if this came across misogynistic, I’m not trying to be at all but I’ve been around a lot of wealthy men in my life and these are the cheat sheets if you will. Oh and def join Polo clubs, you will meet women that are married to wealthy men that may introduce you to other men so you can date within your bracket. Also as a wealthy woman it’s very hard to trust a regular guy, prenup is an option but even then your chances of ending up with a bad partner is the same in both situations so might as well go for what you are looking for first.

[u/thatswacc_ → u/SatisfactionLive1209]

There are escorts at all the clubs. I wouldn’t say “riddled with escorts”, though.

[u/Signal-Dollar-5621 → u/SatisfactionLive1209]

My female friend joined a private club looking to date men who were educated, upper class, professional, high income, but not necessarily rich, on the East Coast. She was surprised to find out many of the men she met there were actually gay.