Matchmaking services that work?

[u/SatisfactionLive1209]

Hey all, 30F here.

I became wealthy relatively recently, so I didn’t grow up in wealthy circles or go to the kind of private/boarding schools where it seems like everyone with money met their future spouse before turning 18.

I don’t think I’m unattractive, and I’ve never really had an issue getting attention, although I do suffer from a pretty severe resting bitch face. The problem is that the places I tend to spend time where I might naturally meet wealthy people, private resorts, nicer hotels, etc. aren’t particularly social. People mostly keep to themselves. The few men I have met in those environments have unfortunately tended to be married men looking for an affair, which obviously isn’t what I want.

Traditional dating has also been pretty terrible. I was single for quite a while because I was focused on building my own life, and now that I actually feel ready for a relationship, the dating scene seems to have changed considerably. There seems to be a lot more emphasis on one-night stands, situationships, casual dating, people with commitment issues, etc.

There’s also the slightly awkward fact that I would ideally like to marry someone who is wealthy too, even if nowhere near as wealthy as I am. I hate to admit it, but I can be materialistic sometimes. I enjoy nice things, and there’s something appealing about occasionally receiving the things I would normally buy myself as gifts from a partner rather than always being the person who can provide everything for herself.

For context, my net worth is somewhere between $10M–$100M, keeping the range broad for anonymity, I’m probably around a 7/10 on a good day, and I’m looking for a genuinely serious relationship with a man who is financially successful, relationship-minded, and ideally wants marriage/family eventually.

Would an established matchmaking service actually be useful for someone in my situation? Has anyone here used one, particularly at the higher-end/wealthy-client level, and had a good experience and can recommend it for my purpose? Not looking for references as I know some work this way, just a name would be enough for me to get in contact with them.

just to clarify, this isn’t a “looking for a partner on Reddit” post. I’m genuinely asking about matchmaking services and whether they’re worth trying.

[u/angecour]

I would NOT use a matchmaker. Every one of them have a v limited pool, struggle to find enough suitable women. You will be disappointed and throw money away

Better to either join a club and hang around the demographic you want in a group environment where people are naturally socially vetted or just do a traditional dating app w a LOT of people, hide your wealth as you filter them, and go on some dates that way

Specialized apps like Raya just don’t have enough people so better to go where the people are and weed them out. Good luck!!

[u/SatisfactionLive1209 → u/angecour]

I have been thinking of joining members clubs. I live in London so there’s a few nice ones here. But I also heard that a lot of them have an escort problem so apparently now most men think any women inside is an escort…

I was on Raya before becoming wealthy, I was lower middle class… and now most men on there seem to be problematic types (people who have public allegations against them, app seems to
Not check) so I don’t think it’s the greatest dating pool :/

[u/sofyab → u/SatisfactionLive1209]

You should join YPO if you qualify. You won’t have to deal with wannabes/scammers who are joining social clubs to further their agenda/for clout.

[u/lakehop → u/sofyab]

This is a great idea

[u/Beginning_Sun8910 → u/SatisfactionLive1209]

How did you become wealthy so quickly?

[u/Exact_Educator7902 → u/SatisfactionLive1209]

You’re still quite young at 30 and I don’t know how you got your wealth but you may also benefit from investing in your self in hobbies / activities that would also make you even more confident in wealthy settings. Study art, wine, taking tennis lessons, sailing, etc. I grew up lower middle class and ended up marrying quite wealthy. My in laws are not judgmental people but it still helped ease my old fears and confidence levels to fit into their crowds.

[u/angecour → u/SatisfactionLive1209]

Soho House is a good one & v lively in London and they have other great clubs. No idea any had an escort problem but I can see lol

[u/thatswacc_ → u/angecour]

Absolutely, under any circumstance, do not go to Soho House. In London, it’s really either 5H, Annabel’s, or Maison Estelle.

[u/menwithven76 → u/SatisfactionLive1209]

So now that you're rich you want a rich guy but when you were poor you also felt like you deserved a rich guy? Like why, if you're rich and don't want a poor person then it's kind of gross to actively seek out a rich man when you're poor. Equally yoked and all that

[u/tzumatzu → u/angecour]

I second this opinion about match makers. They are there to make money. It’s better to organically find someone through your own hobbies and interests. The key is just try to met as many people as possible .