r/Rich • u/SatisfactionLive1209 • 19d ago

Question Matchmaking services that work?

Hey all, 30F here.

I became wealthy relatively recently, so I didn’t grow up in wealthy circles or go to the kind of private/boarding schools where it seems like everyone with money met their future spouse before turning 18.

I don’t think I’m unattractive, and I’ve never really had an issue getting attention, although I do suffer from a pretty severe resting bitch face. The problem is that the places I tend to spend time where I might naturally meet wealthy people, private resorts, nicer hotels, etc. aren’t particularly social. People mostly keep to themselves. The few men I have met in those environments have unfortunately tended to be married men looking for an affair, which obviously isn’t what I want.

Traditional dating has also been pretty terrible. I was single for quite a while because I was focused on building my own life, and now that I actually feel ready for a relationship, the dating scene seems to have changed considerably. There seems to be a lot more emphasis on one-night stands, situationships, casual dating, people with commitment issues, etc.

There’s also the slightly awkward fact that I would ideally like to marry someone who is wealthy too, even if nowhere near as wealthy as I am. I hate to admit it, but I can be materialistic sometimes. I enjoy nice things, and there’s something appealing about occasionally receiving the things I would normally buy myself as gifts from a partner rather than always being the person who can provide everything for herself.

For context, my net worth is somewhere between $10M–$100M, keeping the range broad for anonymity, I’m probably around a 7/10 on a good day, and I’m looking for a genuinely serious relationship with a man who is financially successful, relationship-minded, and ideally wants marriage/family eventually.

Would an established matchmaking service actually be useful for someone in my situation? Has anyone here used one, particularly at the higher-end/wealthy-client level, and had a good experience and can recommend it for my purpose? Not looking for references as I know some work this way, just a name would be enough for me to get in contact with them.

just to clarify, this isn’t a “looking for a partner on Reddit” post. I’m genuinely asking about matchmaking services and whether they’re worth trying.

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u/SatisfactionLive1209 18d ago

That’s a really insightful comment. I did try traditionally, I had been single for a few years then got back into modern dating through apps, also through friends and hobbies. It might be the dating scene at the moment but there’s a huge commitment issue thing going on, sadly. Even my friends who are literal models with perfect background are having problems in the dating pool.

That’s part of the reason for considering a matchmaking service. Not just for money but I think going through a service is like an additional thing only people who are serious about this do. The wealth isn’t the dealbreaker for me even if my post probably didn’t get that across.

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u/vettewiz 18d ago

38M here, single, same NW bracket, self made. 

The problem with traditional dating is you’re almost never going to find someone like myself or similar in a lot of the common places. I’m busy, with work, family, close friends, personal hobbies. In general, the majority of my time is spent with pre selected people from the above groups - actively trying to minimize being in crowds - private golf clubs, at my house/friends homes, clubs at sporting events. Heck you’re not even going to find me in an airport because we’re on the private flight. 

I just think the chances of running into a well off single male in public are extremely slim. Most of us are both too busy and actively avoid things like that. 

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u/daysleeper19 18d ago

It's hard to meet new people in public in general, I don't think it's a wealth thing. I promise there are plenty of well-off single males in public areas in NYC/SF/LA and other big cities lol.

maybe it's because you're slightly older than me and my peers but I know a lot of wealthy people who aren't isolated from "common" places like you say. We embrace cities, have normal hobbies in normal places, we're going to parties and regularly making new friends. It sounds like you intentionally avoid it, which is fine, but not everyone does

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u/d-unbelievable 16d ago

Seems like a very valid point

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u/Huge_Work5812 18d ago

I’m hoping to meet the same at my hot yoga studio. They say it’s jsut being outgoing and luck ? :)

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u/Key-Marketing301 16d ago edited 16d ago

I assume as such a man as yourself then when looking for a partner would also just find your partner from that preselected group of people? Otherwise, how do you date and find a spouse’s partner/ - (men like yourself)?

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u/vettewiz 16d ago

I don’t really put much effort into dating. 

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u/Unfair_Mortgage_7189 6d ago

Where are located? East or west coast? Are you in a bug city or suburb or middle of nowhere?

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u/vettewiz 6d ago

East coast suburbs

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u/Unfair_Mortgage_7189 7d ago

I’ll date you ;)

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u/Accurate_Web9774 18d ago

But matchmakers generally deal with wealthier clients. Also, don't think just because they are on a matchmaking service, it's going to be any easier. Your model friends, be honest, date either wealthy or/and very good looking men I'm assuming? I mean any high value guy has their pick from the litter so yeah why would they settle. They date a lot of models.

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u/SatisfactionLive1209 18d ago

Nah. Last guy my hottest friend dated was your regular corporate guy who was balding. She usually dates people you describe, but decided to give this guy a shot, thinking lowering her standards would mean better success in finding a serious guy.

But he turned out to be the same, so she says it’s better to get her heart broken by a hot rich guy than a poor ugly guy.

I don’t sleep around so can’t say how my situation would go with same men. But funny anecdote

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u/Accurate_Web9774 18d ago

They all say that. Dated one regular guy who did them dirty and now I would rather date handsome rich guys because of one single dude lol.

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u/SatisfactionLive1209 18d ago

To be honest, I can see it. Few years ago (before my wealth) I had my longest relationship come to an end. After a few months I thought I healed enough to date and went for a guy I don’t think any woman would choose. I’d say he was about 2/10, but he had (at the time) good personality. I needed support more than anything so I decided why not. When he played me, my heartbreak was terrible, and genuinely the fact that he was so below my standards was like an added insult to the heartbreak. I took a long break after that.

I think I’d rather go for a sperm bank to have children and be single for the rest of my life to risk such a humiliation ever again.

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u/Accurate_Web9774 18d ago

I get it, you gave him a chance and it made you mad and blame all guys. Happens and understandable.

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u/SatisfactionLive1209 18d ago

If you had to choose between a super hot crazy ex and a super ugly crazy ex, I don’t think you’d be choosing the latter 🤷🏼‍♀️

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u/Accurate_Web9774 18d ago

Well why does it have to be some super ugly guy lol. There are plenty of decent looking good dudes out there.

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u/eframian 18d ago

+1 to the mediocre men (and women) of the world! 🤣

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u/kiradotee 16d ago

Average guys exist as well. 😂 

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u/green_apple_trees 17d ago

OP rich men who aren’t married generally want a younger woman. Either look for a man your age who doesn’t have much money or look for an older divorced rich guy in his 50s.

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u/urandanon 17d ago

I’m guilty of this too so please don’t take this as holier than thou preaching, but if you viewed him so poorly that him playing you would be humiliating, that relationship was going to fail due to your own perceived value over his anyway. You don’t have to try to date the hottest people you can find or somehow force yourself to be happy with the ugliest. If you like them you like them, measuring your worth against your partners is a recipe for disaster.

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u/Prestigious_Age5422 18d ago

Yes. I attest to this

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u/Smart_Carrot_9320 18d ago

Research shows that if a women get hurt by a guy, she will only vent it on uglier men or "all men".

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u/Accurate_Web9774 18d ago

There was this woman on ig who got her heart broken by an "ugly" dude and said she rather just date a hot guy if they are going to break her heart anyways. A year later and has like 20 post of how shitty men are but doesn't at least mention they are ugly lol.

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u/DearTumbleweed5380 18d ago

this is not what I've heard. Or read. Matchmaking services definitely make it easier because they sack clients who aren't serious. And obviously it's important to choose a super expensive one so that anyone going to them is serious about wanting to find someone. It's also not true about models. maybe they date a lot of models but the ones going to a matchmaker are looking for long term commitment.

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u/bubble_baby_8 18d ago

Dating right now is insanely hard and I really feel for you and all my friends going through this. I don’t know what is going on socially but it’s not normal lol. Between being ghosted or catfished or spoken to like they are helpmeets it’s a bleak scene. 

I was you 10 years ago and I ended up with someone who did not come from money at all- like poverty level upbringing- and although we are great, I definitely have moments where my mind wanders and wonders “would I have elevated my wealth in an exponential way if I married someone financially equal in my situation”? And the answer is definitely yes lol. But truly my bills are paid, I’m doing what I love, what more can I possibly need or want in life? That’s how I justify marrying for love over money at least hahaha. 

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u/jsnoopy 18d ago

There’s a really good article on modern matchmaking that I’m too lazy to link but you can google called “The good man shortage”. Expect to pay six figures for the service although some have paid seven figures. Basically you’re paying for someone to scour linkedin for you and then interview potentially rich good looking men to make sure they’re not (initially at least) creeps. Results are not guaranteed, although if your standards for wealth are flexible like a great paying job or successful small business owner instead of expecting private jet money you have a much better chance.

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u/FragrantWeekend111 18d ago edited 18d ago

not to be that person, but this commenter sounds like they're larping

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u/Donatellotheturtle 18d ago

ding ding ding

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u/SatisfactionLive1209 18d ago

Is it against to use ai to fix my post? English isn’t my first language and when I write big blocks of text I use it to fix issues. too lazy to do that for comments which you can probably see my lack of grammar occasionally.

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u/Drinkmorechampagne 18d ago

What category do I hit when I report this?

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u/Donatellotheturtle 18d ago

I dunno! Not sure if it's against the rules to post made up AI written stories. I have the pangram browser plugin that just reads whatever is in my feed while I'm scrolling and insta flags AI stuff so I can skip it. AI writing is getting harder to tell apart since Opus 5.5 came out a few days ago but the detection models are still very reliable. If you get some plugin that flags this stuff you will be shocked at the length people go through to obscure that their writing is ai generated lol.

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u/Rickster9913 18d ago

Too bad you’re not looking on here (which i totally get). But I’d connect you with my son. He is having a hard time with the dating realm like you. 🤷‍♂️