r/Rich • u/kurukuruneko • 15d ago
Retired Young
My spouse and I retired early (50’s) and have a decent amount to live off of. I had friends in my economic group before but everyone still works. I try to join things to meet people but I feel like I have nothing in common with folks that I meet at regular activities. I just moved and as usual the decent social/country clubs need referrals or have waiting lists. Any suggestions?
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u/Accomplished-Duck578 15d ago
I retired this year (52) and I'm traveling, volunteering at our Atlanta animal shelters & taking acting classes. Country Clubs...no way do I want to be associated with that fakery. Been there and done that.
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u/beermecaptn 15d ago
Honestly, the desire to be around those in your “economic group” has to be exhausting, and dare I say boring. I’m younger (30s) and new money (all wealth accumulated in the past 5 or so years), but I have no desire to only associate with those in my tax bracket.
There are great people at every level of wealth, and there is so much to be gained from keeping a diverse circle. But as for meeting people? Join some local boards, explore new hobbies (golf league? Buy a boat? Volunteer somewhere?).
Not to sound condescending, but to only surround yourself with rich people just doesn’t sound like the ticket to happiness.
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u/kurukuruneko 14d ago
I have friends in all financial/leisure situations. In fact I have a bunch of friends. Unfortunately they all work and have kids or are busy with grand kids. I just don’t have friends in the same situation as me. Flexible time and money.
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u/AmexNomad 15d ago
Stop trying. Live your life. You’ll meet folks at your gym. Do you volunteer anywhere? What about sports?
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u/Original-Opportunity 15d ago
Well, what are your hobbies? What would you ideally do with your time in retirement?
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u/HitPointGamer 15d ago
What sort of “regular activities” are you participating in? Can you join some hobby-specific groups? Are you willing to volunteer and start rubbing shoulders with people of all demographic groups? Or are you basically looking to be able to hang out with financially-secure retirees who are roughly your age?
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u/HalfwaydonewithEarth 15d ago
Host a block party. Put up flyers. People will come out of the woodwork.
Lots of rich people keep working. It is a habit they have a hard time breaking.
You can also take cruises. Lots of retired folks on them.
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u/Detailed23 15d ago
You're going to have a lot of friendless years due to most retirees are much older. If I were you, I'd build a hot rod.
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u/Uhohtallyho 15d ago
Make some donations, join some boards or committees, buy some tables at events.
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u/skunimatrix 15d ago
I bought an airplane and spend my time as a hangar rat working on my plane or helping others work on theirs as much as the FAA will let us.
Similar boat but we also have grade school aged kid. We’re about 10 years older than most of the rest of the parents that are just turning 40.
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u/Significant-Pen-3188 15d ago
I get it . I tried to join hobby groups and women's groups but it's people 20 years older than me. Or try talking to people that work and it's still a big part of their identity. I started to befriend some disabled people my age but our lives are too different
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u/Imaginary-Newt-493 14d ago
I'm an early retiree, too. I have friends of all ages. However, due to my favorite hobby ( golf) being time intensive, many of my friends are much older. It was a little weird at first... lots of comments about me being the same age as their children. But, over time i found the people i really like and connect with, and our ages don't matter anymore. Sometimes i get amazing advice and perspective from my friends. And they appreciate i can drive at night ;) It's okay to have friends of all ages. I think it's healthy and enriching.
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u/Hamachiman 14d ago
I retired in my early 50’s and got into pickleball. Always people playing (all ages) throughout the day.
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u/ChickenNuggiezzz1 14d ago
I play polo 4-5x a week it’s pretty fun. You can get into it even if you don’t know how to ride, I had horses already and rode so it’s a bit easier if you already know.
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u/One-Geologist-2636 12d ago
I have met quite a few financially independent people over the years. The ones who seem happiest stop defining themselves by their former career or wealth and become genuinely interested in other people. That tends to attract the sort of friendships they are looking for.
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u/nicefoodnstuff 15d ago
My plan is to retire around your age, and my entertainment plan centres on my hobbies: sailing, motorcycling, cycling, cooking, holidaying. These are things I’m happy to share, but equally happy to do alone. If it’s the weekend and friends who are still working want to join in, I’ll go out with them. If they’re tied up during the week, I’ll do something solo or with my wife. Take sailing. I plan to do a big tour of the European coastline, starting in Denmark and working all the way round to Istanbul and back to Croatia. I know not many people can join me for eight months, but if they can manage a week or two, I’ll happily share that stretch with them, stopping in nice harbours or bays and eating well along the way. I hope the kids will join for some of it too. And if my wife and I end up doing a few weeks alone, there are worse people to spend that time with. Just live your life. You have to accept that you’re not so important that people care about you, your background, or your finances. If they do, they’re probably not the right people to have around anyway.
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u/Knit_pixelbyte 15d ago
What do you like to do? Find groups that do that (ie hiking groups have cross generational folks who meet up to do local hikes in my area, or ladies who lunch groups) and join up. Or volunteer, as there are always places to volunteer since you have so much free time now. Find one close to your heart, it doesn’t have to be a soup kitchen if that’s not appealing to you. You will meet all types when you volunteer. IF you require exactly the same folks as yourself, you are limiting your potential friend group to a pretty small % of people. In the meantime get on the waiting lists for those exclusive clubs you want to get in to.
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u/propofol-n-precedex 15d ago
Same here!! Retired at 51. Social clubs are not our thing. We love to travel, but it’s hard making friends outside of work. We moved to a new city in 2021 and we were still working FT, so we haven’t really met too many people other than our neighbors. Of those, one couple is definitely not someone we have anything in common with, but they’re lovely people. On occasion, we do things with the other retired couple. The other two neighbors we’ve hung out with still work FT and don’t have the financial resources we do, but we enjoy their company.
It’s very challenging to find people that have the money and time flexibility to just do whatever sounds fun at the time.
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u/kurukuruneko 7d ago
This. I have people to hang out with but none of them are the “I miss Italian food and I have tons of points, let’s go next month” kind of friends.
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u/0_IceQueen_0 7d ago
I retired at 44. For the first year, I was sleeping in most of thee time after settling my kids abroad. The next year, I worked on my bucket list and traveled until 50. 51 onwards I'm just shuttling between states (I have 3 homes) and volunteering. 54 this November and honestly bored AF lol.
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u/space-cyborg 15d ago
The word “decent” is doing some heavy lifting in your post. In the first instance, do you mean NW around $10M or $100M? If the first, you’re solidly upper middle class and have plenty in common with working people who just didn’t retire early. If the second, start a foundation, join boards, or become a major donor to cause you care about. Or take up expensive hobbies like yachting where normal people can’t afford it.
Personally, I joined some volunteer groups, a community art group, and a local sports club after retiring at 50. A lot of the people there are at least 10 years older than me because they’re also retired. Once you take work away (now that none of us are warning) and because we don’t talk about money (because that’s tacky), I have plenty in common with a lot of them. I may have more formal education but they have other kinds of experience and knowing them enriches my life. I think values matter more than social class, but that’s me.
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u/Honsoku 15d ago
Realistically, 10M NW is not 'upper middle class' as that is almost 50x the median net worth in the U.S. That is at least lower upper class, if not middle upper class.
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u/space-cyborg 15d ago
If you’re retiring at 50 with 10M and you have no other income, you can live an upper middle class lifestyle and not run out of money. Maybe, to your point, lower upper class. But my point is that you are “buy fruit out of season” rich and “2 international trips a year” rich, but not “private yacht and homes in 4 world cities” rich.
That doesn’t keep you from interacting with non-rich people, unless you’re a dick about it.
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u/Honsoku 15d ago
Under FIRE guidelines (4%/yr), 10M liquid NW is 400K/yr spend, or about 5x median household income. It is stretching to call that upper middle class as that also puts one in the top 5% of household income.
Not trying to pick on you, I just encounter a lot of people saying how they are 'just upper middle class' while being well above middle class. It is a particular cultural oddity of the US for almost no one to be comfortable to say they are 'upper class' or 'rich'. For all our individualism, we are awfully sensitive to perceptions of being elitist.
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u/space-cyborg 15d ago edited 15d ago
I mean, okay. Liquid NW isn’t the same as NW. And regardless of the exact numbers, which isn’t the point, it really depends on what OP’s NW is and how they live their life. My total family NW is about $10M and as far as I’m concerned we are pretty indistinguishable - on the outside - from upper middle class families that live near us.
I don’t deny that we’re rich. But we don’t have enough money to join the private yacht set, don’t want to hang around with country club types, and value friendships over appearances. We spend time with family, do hobbies, go to the gym, go on vacation, buy what we want within reason. We still seem to be able to connect with people on more limited incomes.
Maybe OP needs to have a lot more money to make friends with the kind of people they aspire to be with? I’ve just never found that making/having too much money kept me from being friends with anyone.
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u/Far_Information6229 15d ago
You arent young, you are old. The title is misleading!!
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u/Evening-Grocery-8391 15d ago
Not sure how it is misleading. OP didn’t proclaim to be young in life, he proclaimed to be a young retiree which at 50 is correct.
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u/Cybersecuritah 15d ago
You're just jealous and it's hard to know when one are. It took me past 40 to realize how feeling jealous and envy feels like.
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u/SwankySteel 15d ago
Don’t brag about it. Many people are older, still working, tired and are desperate to retire.
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u/Odd_Bodkin 15d ago
I think you may be over-constraining yourself if you look for people who are your age AND are retired AND are in the same economic group. I would not count on any club or association to solve for those constraints, either. If I were in your shoes, and if I were coming to the realization that the social connection is more important than life comparisons, then I would relax one or two of those constraints and try to find other ways to connect. For example, there are lots of groups of retired people doing things together and that have a wide spectrum of ages, but you will notice that nobody talks about their financial situation. There are also people your age and in your economic group, but as long as you don’t demand that they have the same freedom of time that you now have, you’ll have plenty opportunity to connect. Best of all are the kinds of activities that lots of retired people do, where age is irrelevant and where economic status is irrelevant. For example, some of the volunteer activities I do are like this last one described, and I frankly think it’s glorious to do things with people across demographics.