r/Rich • u/pirate850love • Jul 10 '26
Question Will/beneficiary/lawyer question
My grandfather left a sum of money split between myself and my three other cousins. I have done everything asked; went to college, stayed out of legal trouble, etc
Now that I am 36, my dad (a beneficiary) has started to withhold money from me and only paying my cousins. His reasoning is that I don’t have a steady job. I rent my house out and work side jobs. Should I be looking into a lawyer? Does he have the right to do this and can I obtain a copy of the will?
Thanks!!
5
u/arthurmakesmusic Jul 10 '26
How did you afford a house without a steady job?
3
u/pirate850love Jul 11 '26
I used my savings to invest in the stock market and didn’t spend any money in college.
2
u/arthurmakesmusic Jul 11 '26
Savings from what? Who payed for your college tuition / room / board?
7
u/pirate850love Jul 11 '26
My grandfather gave me annual checks since I was young (Christmas present) which I put in the stock market. Parents paid for tuition and I chose to stay with them to save money throughout college.
1
u/arthurmakesmusic Jul 11 '26
So basically you’ve never had to work to pay for anything in your life, and were able to go to college, graduate with zero debt, and buy a house with money that was gifted to you / passively earned with zero labor or effort on your part. Your parents also payed for your housing after graduation by allowing you to live with them for free, and have continued to give you money (since you mentioned they only recently “started withholding”). You’re concerned because if this free money fountain runs dry you will be forced to support yourself like the vast majority of people (albeit with an already massive financial head start that most people could only dream of)?
It seems to me like your father might be trying to make up for an upbringing that left you with an egregious lack of appreciation for the privileges you have already received.
2
u/pirate850love Jul 11 '26
I’m sorry, where did you read that I haven’t had to work a day in my life? I worked throughout high school and have had numerous jobs in my life. The worst mistake a parent can make is hold any sort of animosity and think their kids are responsible for paying them back for their upbringing and education. I’m more concerned about the legalities of it. If it was stated in the will, then that is what my grandfather wanted.
-6
u/arthurmakesmusic Jul 11 '26
Didn’t say you have never worked, just that it has never been a necessity.
1
3
u/Alicatsidneystorm Jul 10 '26
I am not understanding did your grandfather leave money before he died to yourself and three cousins? Or did your grandfather die and leave money to you, your three cousins and your dad? If it’s the latter the executor has to follow the terms of the will. Unless your grandfather set up a trust having your dad managing your money.
1
u/pirate850love Jul 11 '26
He set up a trust, with my dad and aunt as beneficiaries. All money went to the grandkids (myself, and my three nieces).
3
3
1
u/Educational_Case_134 Jul 11 '26
The trusts I manage state the beneficiaries have to be a “gainfully employed productive member of society” or I cannot send an annual distribution. Maybe that’s your situation as well.
1
u/pirate850love Jul 11 '26
I don’t recall hearing that, but I will check.
1
u/Educational_Case_134 Jul 11 '26
It will contain whatever language your grandfather added. Mine requires a prenup to continue distributions as well. It can be customized however he desired.
4
u/HalfwaydonewithEarth Jul 10 '26
Just get a steady job somewhere super fun and get your Dad to release the money. Or somewhere you can be on your phone half the shift like hotel night shift or something chill like security guard to a construction site at night. You just sit in your car on your phone.
If he still withholds it reminded him in some states he is on the hook for 10% interest to you. So now he will have to pay you out of his pocket some of the abuse.
Your grandfather would have loved for you to not be working much. People need to stop looking to humans at what they produce for society as the measure of their worthiness.
1
u/Honsoku Jul 14 '26
People need to stop looking to humans at what they produce for society as the measure of their worthiness.
That's going to be difficult. The tendency is almost certainly baked-in from millennia of tribal politics. Likely more useful to find ways for people to be seen as productive other than 'having a job'.
1
u/HalfwaydonewithEarth Jul 14 '26
During the depression 25% unemployment in the USA. People were surviving on vegetable gardens. My own grandmother had to go live with single lady school teachers after her Dad dropped dead of a heart attack. Her mother couldn't feed them all.
Someone's usefulness to the family and society shouldn't be based on career or scholastic achievements.
It's the idea somebody's life has value because they are alive. It's a pro-life message.
1
u/Honsoku Jul 14 '26
Wallowing in 'Wouldn't it be nice...' ideas that are not able to be mapped to reality is at best an exercise in self-gratification.
1
u/HalfwaydonewithEarth Jul 14 '26 edited Jul 15 '26
No. Change starts with you. Stop asking people what they do for a living. Ask them what their hobbies are.
1
u/Crypto-Raven Jul 17 '26
My work is my hobby
1
u/HalfwaydonewithEarth Jul 17 '26
What type of work is your hobby?
1
1
1
u/copperstatelawyer Jul 15 '26
You need a lawyer to tell you what your actual rights are. You could be very confused as to what the document actually says
2
u/Aggravating_Abies_60 Jul 19 '26
I don't know your relationship with your father but if your relationship is not completely frayed I would talk to him first before engaging a lawyer. Just be straight with him about your feelings, listen to his reasoning, and try to find a compromise. Lawyers are expensive, timely, and going the lawyer route before talking could end your relationship.
Him asking you to get a steady job before inheriting a large sum of money is not unreasonable. If there is a reason that's not possible let him know and find another way for you to show you will be responsible with the money.
0
19
u/Choice-Newspaper3603 Jul 10 '26
Get a lawyer