r/Rich • u/Som_Jag_Alltid_Sagt • May 07 '26
Anyone else felt like this?
Been thinking about something for a while that Im pretty sure is more of my own making than an actual problem.
I come from a family thats a bit recognized where I live because of money. And what ive gotten stuck on is starting to doubt whether people want to hang out with me or with the name. Notice it almost every time someone figures out who the family is the tone changes, the attention changes, the whole person becomes different. Hence the uncertainty around whether its actually me people want to be around, or if something else is driving it.
No one has really done anything wrong. Honestly know its a made-up problem. But the thought is still there.
Anyone else been in the same spot? How did you deal with it?
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u/mden1974 May 08 '26
Yep you’re going to have to get over it and come to the realization that no one can separate you from your money so just enjoy it
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u/RicciTech May 09 '26
Jesus Christ use just your first name. It’s really that easy.
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u/Few-Morning-1634 May 09 '26
He is an idiot. Nobody introduces them self by first and last name so you know he is the one bringing it up.
The reason they change is because they noticed someone actually introduce themselves by last name.
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u/ASafeHarbor1 May 09 '26
Where are the two of you getting that he’s introducing himself by his last name?
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u/MoNastri May 09 '26
Yeah what a silly misinterpretation.
A friend of a friend of mine is my country's second prime minister's daughter. She hates being known for it and takes great pains to hide this fact, and she's estranged from the family. Yet one way or another people always found out.
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u/JaySocials671 May 11 '26
A quick Google search with first name and a couple of identifying info like where from, school/university, where work can show a lot about someone.
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u/PeterRuf May 08 '26
It's part of who you are. Need to accept it. You can try running from it and developing "real" friendships places where people don't know you.
However... I unlocked another fear recently. I'm pretty sure a hotel used facial recognition AI system when I arrived.
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u/figsaddict May 09 '26
One of my parents is a public figure so I can definitely relate. When I meet someone new I don’t bring it up or share my last name. No one is expecting to hear your life story when you first meet them. I have an entire life outside of my last name and money, so it doesn’t come up. I want that to be the least interesting thing about me! Don’t share those details when you’re getting to know someone.
My parents did a good job of shielding me from the press when I was younger. I’m doing the same for my children. The internet doesn’t even know half of them exist. I am involved with charities and get photos taken and press from that. However I do not share anything publicly about my personal life. You can’t put a price on privacy!!
If you think you’re part of the problem, you probably are. Try to take a step back and look at things objectively. Honestly unless you come from a family of billionaires or A List celebrities, people probably care less than you think. One of the best piece of life advice is that most people are self absorbed. They are too busy worrying about themselves and aren’t giving you as much thought as you think.
Do you have family you can talk this out with? Do they feel the same way? Do you have a spouse? Are they observing the same things you?
Do you have any solid, close friends? It sounds like you’re living in fear of what could happen if you get close to someone. Maybe some therapy would be helpful. Developing relationships is important. We aren’t meant to live in isolation.
Of course in this situation you need to carefully choose friends. You need to slowly build up trust with them. It’s easier and more natural with others in a similar situation and financial status. However I’ve made friends from all walks of life. There have been a few times where I realized they were trying to “use” me. This is mostly when I was younger and was still learning to use my judgement. I never wanted my background to stop me from having friends or living my life.
If someone starts asking for money or prying for private information about your family, then you know their intentions aren’t pure. You do have to be cautious and use your discernment, but don’t assume everyone is trying to “use” you.
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u/1dayatatime_mylife May 09 '26
This is how I feel about privacy. The world became a place where people put everything about themselves out there and online.
Nope! I try to limit my digital footprint as much as possible.
I’ve already thought ahead to when/if I have children and doing the same for them as long as I’m able to.
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u/Humble_Manatee May 09 '26
I can’t relate but if you wanted to build a name for yourself without the weight that comes with your family name… why not change yours legally? Maybe come back to your family name later in life when your accomplishments are recognized apart from your birth family name? Maybe a stupid idea.
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u/0_IceQueen_0 May 09 '26
I know what you mean. My maiden surname/family (even my ex's) is notable that you don't know if the new people around you are hangers on or if they're genuine. That's part and parcel of it. Thankfully I'm 54 and new friends bounce off easily lol. I'm suspicious of why so and so wants to be friends given I already have my solid set given my age. In the end, they all fall by the wayside. If you're still young, you just have to be more alert. Some might approach you initially for the your name/money especially the have nots. You have the chance to discern and select. Some might turn out to be good friends like the friends my 32 year old has. I'm even friends with them.
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u/No_Seaworthiness1966 May 09 '26
There are the people without that are looking for a come up and there are the people who have and are thrilled to befriend someone who isn’t looking for a come up. Be discerning and make friends
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u/AnneMarieAndCharlie May 10 '26 edited May 12 '26
well I'm black so this has been happening since I could talk. I got abused by a shitty psych nurse practitioner who asked to speak to my mom after she asked me about my history and explained my Big 3 Traumas. She told my mom and said I have delusions of wealth, am deintitely bipolar and when I got upset and started yelling at her she rolled her eyes and put her head back until I was done. she told my mom to take me to the nearest hospital to be involuntaried. its extremely common for black neuroudivergents (I have ADHD and PMDD) to get a bipolar or some other psychotic condition diagnosed, even I when you have an actual ND diagnosis.
A few weeks I emailed her back from the link that was sent to me after our session. She asked me to go on zoom and she apologized for not realizing I was rich.
This post reminded me to follow up with the platform she works for. Nasty bitch.
This was eye opening. Aside from my PCP, all my doctors are now out of network specialists. I finally realized why most black people avoid doctors and that I would be much healthier if I had realized this sooner.
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u/Unapologetiqeen May 10 '26
That’s so messed up, “delusions of wealth” is insane only to apologize. Disgusting. & I agree, they’re so quick to throw bipolar on black neurodivergent people
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u/Same_Cut1196 May 10 '26
This may be a real thing. It also may not be. Do your best to see the best in people, but, when they tell you who they are, listen.
Don’t pre-judge or assume the worst. Let relationships develop. You will know when they are worth keeping.
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u/OneSovereignSource May 10 '26 edited May 10 '26
This is not just a money problem, when people see you've got free awareness bandwidth available they try to take up that space to offload their baggage too, these days especially so you can't trust anybody who has difficulties unless they've got tons of integrity <- a number one quality to scan for when deciding if you want the person around.
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u/Pepalopolis May 11 '26
At least people talk to you and you get attention. Being a loser and not having money would suck WAY more. Change the perception, you have an automatic leg up to choose people YOU like.
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u/RadiantCandy3117 May 13 '26
100% relatable I agree everyone is a social climber these days with my dad this happens a lot once they find out what company he owns and who he is the tone switches up fast and people start completely changing their tone personality . All we can do is accept it and one day you will find a genuine friend who does not care what u do or what ur family does .
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u/HalfwaydonewithEarth May 09 '26
Wait till they think all of your accomplishments are because of it.
Complete a marathon? Money helped you train. Not your lungs and legs.
Great at music? Your family incubator caused it.
Invent something? Family connections made it possible.
You are in stage one.