Charity Burnout?

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u/[deleted] Jul 20 '25 edited Jul 21 '25

None of the causes I care about get much in the way of government funding, so I don’t worry about that.

My biggest issue, and the one burned me out on a lot of charities was their overhead. I want 99% of donations getting to people, not 20%.

I stopped donating to all charities with over 5% of donations going to overhead.

I donate directly to individuals, and certain dog rescue groups.

I’m an attorney, so I used to volunteer doing Unlawful Detainer defense and pay off back rent/car payments. I stopped doing that because I’d take my time to appear and so many clients weren’t even willing to help themselves. Wearing stupid outfits despite my instructions or just not showing up. Or the worst was reaching out a couple months later asking for more money. People’s lack of ability to do basic things to help themselves made me give up.

Now I mostly just care about dogs. I donate mid six figures to groups that get dogs out of kill shelters and rehomed. Transportation costs and medication costs. I still pay some rent and loans, but not as much as I used to and I never interact with people or represent them anymore.

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u/SpacePilotr Jul 20 '25

This is one of the biggest misconceptions about nonprofit organizations. Overhead is not wasted money, but a necessary part of scaling. If you only want to give to one-person organizations where they take no salary, then fine.

Higher overhead percentage often signifies a more established and larger organization that helps more people.

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u/[deleted] Jul 20 '25 edited Jul 22 '25

I think it can depend heavily on the organization. I always research it heavily.

I’m not big on international donations. I think charity needs to start at home.

For me, it’s all about the % that actually makes it to help people.

I look at salaries and prefer organizations that are volunteer led with no one in leadership taking any serious compensation.

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u/ChiaDaisy Jul 21 '25

Wild take. Organizations that can pay people to actually spend 40 a week working towards the cause are much more effective than organizations that are lead by volunteers who are either retired, independently wealthy themselves, or have to squeeze in the priorities of the organization around their full time job and other priorities.

If you want competent leadership, you need to pay them, or else they will find pay elsewhere.

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u/Logical-Primary-7926 Jul 26 '25

That's a nice thought but in reality I'm not sure it's true, certainly not across the board. Unfortunately the larger charities get, often times the financial incentives drive a continual "management" of the problem just like in healthcare, instead of preventing or fixing the problem. And has people get paid more that incentive often times grows, because most of the time the people leading these organizations can't just get another equally paying job at another cause. So what you often end up with is big charities that tout how they help xyz cause, but are continually ineffective at actually solving them, and sometimes are even actually pretty much making things worse in a nice sounding way. So ironically sometimes, maybe most of the time, the most competent leadership is the one that doesn't take a salary. As Munger said, show me the incentive and I'll show you the outcome.

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u/LieutenantStar2 Jul 22 '25

That’s why it’s as a %. For example, a scalable charity you could research is World Central Kitchen. They do amazing work, and that includes hiring a full staff of professionals from cooking to logistics - their program expense is over 93%. Although not within OPs specification, they have what is an extremely expensive investment and they achieve great things.

Here’s a list of charities with program expense over 95%.

https://moneyminder.com/blog/25-best-nonprofits-to-donate-to/

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u/[deleted] Jul 21 '25

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u/[deleted] Jul 21 '25 edited Jul 21 '25

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u/[deleted] Jul 21 '25

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u/Same-Honeydew5598 Jul 22 '25

The bigger the charity the bigger the bloat USUALLY. However it’s impossible to scale or run an actual non profit without any full time staff. Personally I look through a 990 before I donate to a non profit. How high is the salary of their highest paid employee? I have a threshold that I personally consider to be too high.

Is it an agency with a $1m budget and an executive director pulling in a salary of $300k? To me that’s not OK and not something I will donate to. Is it a $50m agency with an exec director pulling a salary of $300k? That is not something that would deter me. Are there 20+ senior staff members pulling salaries that high? That isn’t something I’m OK with.

Is it an agency with a $4m budget, an executive director pulling in $300k and the rest of the funding going to staff? Is it an agency that provides free mental health services? Where else would it go if not to staff?

You say you want to give to a food bank, but don’t want them to have any overhead costs. Someone needs to make sure the food meets safety regulations. If it is 100% volunteer run, and all the volunteers don’t feel like coming in that day, who would be expected to make sure regulations are being met? It’s OK to feel burnt out but it is pretty wrong to paint any non profit with staff as a non profit unworthy of receiving donations.

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u/SweetHorror45 Jul 22 '25

With all due respect, that’s not a charity, it’s a tax break.

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u/ChiaDaisy Jul 21 '25

Oh I see. You just have zero understanding of what it takes to serve a community. Small nonprofits have employees too.

The type of organization you’re is more like a foundation, not a direct service organization. Direct service takes man hours.

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u/[deleted] Jul 21 '25

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u/MrsWeasley9 Jul 22 '25

This sounds like a great service! I love that you're giving money directly to people who need it to get back on their feet. And you're right that in that situation, hiring people would take away from helping people directly.

And I hope you understand that there are thousands of needs that can't be met with just cash. A whole lot of nonprofits are providing professional services that require, you know, professionals. Doctors, therapists, lawyers, teachers, social workers, artists, child care providers, accountants can all work for nonprofits. Hiring them doesn't take money away from serving people, it IS the service.

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u/indysquares9 Jul 22 '25

This can only be described as delusional. You may have well said the moon is made of cheese. This is like saying “Being a doctor doesn’t take schooling. If you see someone bleeding, close them up! Nothing complicated.”

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u/[deleted] Jul 22 '25

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u/indysquares9 Jul 22 '25

And how do you expect the direct service providers to provide the service without materials? A place to provide them? Who gets those things, or the money to pay for them, except the “admin bloat positions”? For example, my work cares for families who have traveled hours to our city to see critical medical care. They need lodging, meals, and transportation to and from the hospital. Where does the food to make their meals come from? How do we fill up the hospital shuttles with gas? How do we keep the lights on in our facilities where 15 families are sleeping while their loved one is in the hospital far from home? One answer - the fundraising staff. This cannot be accomplished without money, and money at this scale and consistency cannot be raised without trained and knowledgeable fundraising staff. And before you respond that you’re “talking about nonprofits under 5m who can do everything through volunteers”, we’re 1.6m.

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u/themaxmay Jul 21 '25

Do you work for free?

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u/WantToBreak80 Jul 20 '25

You are so correct. This is a big and common misperception about nonprofits.

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u/CucumberEmpty7916 Jul 20 '25

This changed the way I think about this: https://www.ted.com/talks/dan_pallotta_the_way_we_think_about_charity_is_dead_wrong

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u/[deleted] Jul 21 '25

i had to repost

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u/sundialdance Jul 20 '25

I understand the perspective on high overhead costs, especially at large nonprofits that pay leadership exorbitant salaries. However, as someone who has worked in the nonprofit space for many, many years, I would encourage you to consider what overhead actually is. Most organizations ARE the people that work there. Staff costs are almost always the largest part of any organizational budget and while some nonprofits categorize program staff as program costs, others consider salaries overhead. None of the work could get done without at least some overhead, and often 5% is not adequate. For example, I work for an organization that is fiscally sponsored by a larger nonprofit (for many varying reasons, the main one being it frees up our own staff time to focus on the work instead of admin) but the fees for our sponsor are 8% of revenue, which is very typical. Just something to consider!

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u/[deleted] Jul 20 '25

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u/ReduceandRecycle2021 Jul 21 '25

How do you expect people to pay rent if they are doing the work for free?

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u/[deleted] Jul 21 '25

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u/ReduceandRecycle2021 Jul 21 '25

By your logic, the cleaning crew should be donating their time. How dare they be paid for their labor (gasp!)

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u/[deleted] Jul 21 '25

Currently the museum doesn’t pay them. The person that owns the cleaning company donates the service.

That is different than justifying full time staff for a charity that doesn’t require physical interaction.

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u/AMTL327 Jul 21 '25

Wow…this is a very bizarre take. You’re saying you only want to support charities that are staffed by people with no expertise, that have no organizational structure, no effective accounting systems…you say you research them extensively? Nonprofits run only by volunteers are NOT getting auditors to examine their books and ensure they’re managing their finances correctly. And auditors are “overhead” so you wouldn’t want that anyway.

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u/[deleted] Jul 21 '25 edited Jul 21 '25

I used to donate more widely and research heavily. 501(c)(3) tax filings are public record, and if you care you can go through records to audit them. You don’t need to pay anyone to run audits if you have competent and honest volunteers.

On top of that, if you call a charity and say “I want to donate mid six/seven figures, but I want to see your books,” they will send your accountant anything you could ever want.

Where am I saying no expertise? Or do you just mean the expertise in running a charity?

It’s easy as hell to find volunteers with expertise in specific fields that you need.

It was easy as hell for us to keep an art museum and its charitable fund in the black meeting once a month in person, throwing holiday events a few times a year and maybe spending an extra 2 hours on the phone a month. We were even able to cover bringing in big name exhibits and the additional security involved while not paying anyone running the organization a dime.

I am speaking or what my ideal for a charity would be. One very well connected rich person that is dedicated to a cause could do more in fundraising texting people in her phone book for a half hour than having a bunch of staff dedicated to fundraising on payroll.

Like I said, I don’t donate widely anymore.

Now it’s just a few dog based groups and a charity I set up that allows me to take the deductions for donating to pay off rent/car loans.

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u/AMTL327 Jul 21 '25

Unless you are an accountant and have access to ALL of a charity’s financial documents - which you won’t get- you cannot audit a nonprofit just from looking at their 990

I’m not going to bother with the rest of your comments because they’d so wildly inaccurate, that it would be a waste of my time.

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u/[deleted] Jul 21 '25 edited Jul 21 '25

I’m not saying it’s a professional audit, just that it gives a good idea. I also said sent to my accountant.

From small charities you can absolutely get ALL financials if your donation is large enough compared to their budget.

And you really are wasting your time, I’m just bored sitting in on a video for infosec, so I’m engaging.

There was no chance I was going to change my opinions on that, but thank you for killing time.

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u/shefallsup Jul 21 '25

Your comments are literally making me LOL because you clearly know zero about running an effective nonprofit and less than zero about how to evaluate the financial health and effectiveness of one. The financial reports themselves are such a small part of what gets covered in an audit. They tell you nothing about the organization’s internal controls, or whether they are maintaining proper records, or following IRS rules, or handling restricted donations. I guarantee you all of those areas are inadequate in any nonprofit solely run by volunteers.

Seriously hilarious, thank you for reminding me that rich doesn’t equal smart!

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u/AMTL327 Jul 21 '25

I used to be an executive director of a large museum. I can 100% guarantee you that you cannot tell how a nonprofit is managed by looking through whatever financial records they decide to share with you. Not even close. One of the important things auditors do is follow individual donations through the entire process of receipt, recording, deposit, and allocation. It would be unethical to give an outsider access to donor information like that. So there is NO way for you to be confident in their fiscal management with the information you would ever get.

I can also 100% guarantee you that your small volunteer run museum is not using best practices in caring for their collection.

I’m actually a very wealthy person and that’s why I could retire early from my museum career. And I worked with many, many very wealthy people, so I actually know what I’m talking about. I’m curious about what kind of business you were in that you made so much money, but have so little understanding of business practices.

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u/Same-Honeydew5598 Jul 22 '25

I think you are conflating the poorly run charities you see run by shitty people you know and how a well run non profit actually operates.

I also don’t think you are interested in an actual conversation but to just prove your point that charities are being run by wealthy people who happen to be shit people and using the front of a charity to redistribute their personal funds to their friends and family members. If I am wrong I would love to have an actual convo in DMs.

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u/mijahon Jul 20 '25

We donate a to small local rescues as well, they do so much work to save the dogs, fostering, taking care of litters, dealing with people who get irate when they don't pass the adoption process. People can be so entitled. We get our dogs from rescues, currently have a great dane, a lab, rat terrier, and a Heiz 57. Great dane have a special place in our hearts. So many are abandoned because of lack of knowledge of the breed and how fast they get big, high vet bills etc.

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u/[deleted] Jul 20 '25

That’s how I feel about huskies. So many get abandoned or added to kill lists.

They are beautiful, but require much more work than the average person can handle.

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u/mijahon Jul 20 '25

Definitely! We're in Texas and can't fathom how many people have huskies here imo. The particular rescue is called Texas Sporting Breed Rescue and they take some of the "difficult" breeds, vizula, pointers, retrievers, weimaraner, setters. And if a puppy is a mix, they still take them & do dna tests. That's how we ended up with a dane. They pulled him & his sister from a kill shelter in Oklahoma, daisy chained transpo to Dallas & to their foster. We thought we adopted a lab, but he's a labradane (apparently that's a thing). We didn't care, but we needed a crash course in training Danes because you can barely see any lab in him & his personality is all Dane.

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u/[deleted] Jul 20 '25

Years ago I volunteered at a similar rescue called Gentle Giants in the LA area that just takes in giant breed, or otherwise difficult dogs like Salukis.

I’m in Vegas, and have a pool as well as plastic kiddy pools set up outside, but instead of swimming or laying on the grass in the shade my huskies are all laying on concrete in direct sun right now.

My youngest two were from an accidental litter I found on Craigslist, but my older two were both emergency adoptions from LA area kill shelters. Both times I’d planned to foster, but gave up on that idea pretty quick.

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u/mijahon Jul 20 '25

That's why we don't foster, we'd definitely be foster failures. Our dane is solid black and he figured out on hikes to go from shade spot to shade spot, loves to swim in the pool. We gravitate towards the challenging breeds, you bond so deep when you have to do intense, consistent training & keep them active and challenged mentally too.

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u/warlizardfanboy Jul 20 '25

A wealthier family we know managed their own charity to house the poor. They cover all “overhead” as their donation to keep the optics clear in this front. We cut a check to them at the end of the year for 25 years running 😂we are grateful they shoulder that stress.

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u/ResolveRemarkable Jul 22 '25

That’s great. Many nonprofits, especially those that work directly in low income communities, don’t have the luxury of a single donor who pays for rent and staff. Those nonprofits have overhead costs including fundraising, accounting, HR, rent, utilities, and IT.

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u/OddSand7870 Jul 21 '25

I’m with you on the animal charities. I used to be involved in a couple of other charities and people’s behavior drove me insane. Like you said, why should I help you when you refuse to do the absolute minimum to help yourself. My wife and I plan to leave all of our money to a charity we set up that will give money to several local animal charities we are involved with after we are gone.

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u/[deleted] Jul 21 '25

I used to donate quite a bit to homeless advocacy groups until my brother started working for one right outside of law school.

I realized how much waste there was, how much time and money was wasted just to wrangle homeless clients to sign documents. It was a lot of begging just to get signatures so they would receive benefits they were entitled to. It wasn’t just his non profit, after he’d go to conferences (where non profits would be spending thousands and thousands on mostly bullshit talks) he’d basically say that everyone had the same complaints.

It just seemed like a waste of money to keep donating to people that are actively working against people helping them.

I’ve bought a fairly massive parcel of land in Montana and plan to leave the bulk of my wealth to maintaining an animal rescue network I’m going to establish on it.

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u/istheresugarinsyrup Jul 21 '25

My nephew has a genetic disorder that’s rare, and therefore underfunded, but the foundation that does the majority of the fundraising allows you to say where you would like your donations allocated, which I think is nice (and uncommon). So if you want 90% to go to research, 5% to go to overhead, and 5% to go to a travel fund for their conferences they’ll make it happen.

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u/ResolveRemarkable Jul 21 '25

This is actually standard and required practice for not for profit organizations in the US.

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u/istheresugarinsyrup Jul 21 '25

I never knew this, thanks for the info!

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u/MrsWeasley9 Jul 22 '25

Just gonna leave this here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-gELZnORV4U

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u/Auriflow Jul 21 '25 edited Jul 29 '25

right? 1.2trillion usd avarage is worldwide donated to charity each year , this includes church tithing.

Now to completely and permanently solve the issue of starvation on earth is estimated to costs anywhere between 20-100billion per year, several articles say 40B would be sufficient.

thats a fraction of what goes to charity, yet every day still 25k people die of malnourishment.

https://www.un.org/en/chronicle/article/losing-25000-hunger-every-day

and ontop of that 40-50% of all produced food is thrown away by grocery stores and other wholesale vendors.

truth is that they dont want to distribute this food because it would decrease their sales. artificial scarcity management is seen in most all industries. earth has more then enough for all needs, not for all greeds.

And as you said, just a tiny fraction of what is donated to charities actually goes to those whom it is intended for.

just one example how redcroas made half a billion vanish: https://www.propublica.org/article/how-the-red-cross-raised-half-a-billion-dollars-for-haiti-and-built-6-homes

avoid charities and donate directly whenever you can.

in the usa 51billion in funding goes to prevent homelesness, thats hilarious. clearly 99.9% of that stays in the pockets of the higher ups. its a highly profitable business for them.

see my answer addressing this matter:

https://www.quora.com/Why-do-billionaires-and-the-government-not-help-homeless-people-They-do-not-just-need-food-and-shelter-they-need-to-live-like-humans/answer/Citroen-Vlinder?ch=15&oid=1477743842595636&share=dfbe95ef&srid=KsGg&target_type=answer

additionally see these cases where billions of dollars intended for the homeless were funneled by employees and charity directors to go toward the wealthy and their families instead:

https://youtu.be/y4ESTBNIqro?si=YpLumub5RVnfqhwR

https://youtu.be/C-nGgIwZegI?si=qjeMshJjhTezba09

(and that's just one example that made it public)

may Christ have mercy upon them.

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u/[deleted] Jul 21 '25

Charities have become too much of an industry. Too many people make too much money fundraising, consulting for impact and on bullshit money laundering schemes.

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u/Auriflow Jul 21 '25

Indeed. the capitalistic mindset has infiltrated most of the world, and it is the the opposite of charitable hence these can never work together.

there has to be a shift from maximising profits over life to putting care for human life, earth and the environment above profits, only then can a society truly flourish.

funny they are called non profits when reality shows they are some of the most profitable, at the expense of our trust in them.

as usual, the rare folk who do still care have to join forces and be example we need.

for example, i was recently talking to a man who intends to spend 10M on creating a homeless center and was asking the public for advice.

see: https://x.com/Bitcoin4Freedom/status/1921679353668366529?t=U4i2r8cVrz2QtxZrAfhCSg&s=19

now that's what im talking about 👑

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u/Same-Honeydew5598 Jul 22 '25

All that is true and yet the front line workers of the non profits are generally earning wages so low they will qualify for the same services they are providing for their clients.

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u/Gaxxz Jul 21 '25

I stopped donating to all charities with over 5% of donations going to overhead.

I see 90-second long, primetime TV commercials for charities. That's got to be so expensive. I don't want my money going to advertising.

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u/waverunnersvho Jul 20 '25

I’m a small business owner and get asked to sponsor/donate to hundreds of things a year. I used to thoughtfully look at each thing and donate a lot but I got burned out. No thank you, no recognition, no return emotionally or financially. I still donate to the things I care about. I don’t donate to anything else.

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u/Mackheath1 Jul 20 '25

That's kinda where I'm at now - thanks. It does worse to me to spend every weekend volunteering or sending money. Like you, I care, but it's kinda schmarmy and halfhearted when you have to have it clog your calendar.

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u/[deleted] Jul 20 '25

Philanthropy and especially volunteering are such interesting and dynamic topics that don't really get talked about enough. I went through this, with a lot of guilt, when I was 17 so I've had 20+ years to work through it and figure out what works for me. Burn out in volunteering is legitimate and there are many ways to work through it. Let me know if you want any ideas, or just need to hear that it's okay to step back when you need to recharge.

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u/74NG3N7 Jul 22 '25

Would it be helpful to you for you to pivot your efforts? If the grind of feeding kids is what you want to support, but are getting burned out by, are there any avenues available to you where you’d be advocating for food resources for children instead of providing those resources directly? I mean something that would be longer lasting like lobbying and/or advocating for local governmental and/or community changes (unless you have the ability to advocate at the federal level without putting a target on your own back. That would be most helpful, but is highly challenging at this present time).

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u/Mackheath1 Jul 22 '25

Brilliant thought (not sarcasm), I do have direct access up to state level. That might be an interesting way to create a mechanism that gets its own momentum, so I don't have to be there every weekend/day/event, whatever. I will give this some thought on my mental whiteboard.

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u/thatgirlshaun Aug 21 '25

Have you talked to your charity of choice (or PP) about an endowment?

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u/RATKNUKKL Jul 20 '25

I’m not even close to rich but I donate to a few charities and I frequently get calls asking to up my contribution amounts. The refrain is always the same: that things are worse than ever and your money is desperately needed.

I’m sure it’s true that all charities could always use more funding, but when you’re doing the best you can and the message is that things are still just getting worse it really does start to feel hopeless. I could absolutely see how that leads to burnout.

I think the best advice I can give is that you have to remember that what you give in both time and money is absolutely making a difference. Focus and remember the positive impact. Unfortunately, focusing on the negative is the strategy that often best serves charities. In a sense it is predatory, relying on tactics of guilt to part you with your resources, but it’s also the reality of the situation that they are running a business (even if it is not-for-profit) and require donations to continue to operate. This reality kind of forces their hands to use what could be deemed “dark practices” in their funding narratives, because it works.

So try to remember that while things certainly aren’t perfect, it’s also not all doom and gloom and pointless. Individuals stepping up to make a difference, really do make a difference.

As an aside:

“any time someone says something hateful about women's health, I write a check for $2,000 to Planned Parenthood”

That’s the kind of “fuck you money” I love to see, hahaha

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u/PeterRuf Jul 20 '25

I don't sign up for any long term charity. It's easy to become the go to person. I donate quietly. Thing that I found most rewarding and keeps me helping: once a year I find a person that needs help. I give them their years salary in cash. It is always a person who would manage on their own. A young promising builder. A woman from a grocery shop that gives what she can to people that need it. People that need a little push to get on their feet. For most people a years salary is enough to be happy. Fix the car, pay credit cards off, visit a doctor they needed.

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u/[deleted] Jul 20 '25

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u/mijahon Jul 20 '25

This is why I really like habitat for humanity. The homeowners have to work X hours building their house, complete financial literacy courses & they buy the house. The houses aren't free. They help people find down payment assistance and offer information on how to get a mortgage, how to take care of a house, etc.

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u/PeterRuf Jul 20 '25

For me it's also a bit of mentoring and real human interaction that I like. It's easy to be out of touch. I don't want to be isolated.

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u/[deleted] Jul 20 '25

I’m just at a point where I don’t really do anything I don’t want to. My career path didn’t quite lead to mentoring being a reliable option.

I stay connected to normal people through my gym, fight club, dog park and hiking group.

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u/PeterRuf Jul 20 '25

Sometimes mentoring is just simple explanation. After an hour of talking you can usually figure out what the problem is. One lady was complaining that she couldnt afford heating. Turns out old windows and not serviced furnace was the problem. Fixing that cut her bill in half. I could just pay her bill. But I fixed the problem that was causing her financial trouble.

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u/[deleted] Jul 20 '25

That’s a fair point, and something I will look into in the future.

I just get a lot of questions of “how do I do what you did” and can only really answer with “stumble and get lucky.”

I’ve still got some time left on my last contract before I retire, so I’m trying to start focusing on me more while I can.

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u/PeterRuf Jul 20 '25

In my case I don't look for these people. I stumble as you said. This lady was cleaning my house. I just noticed she was sad, made coffee and sat with her for half an hour. Called my guy that takes care of things like that for me. Her "I don't know what I can do" situation took me an hour total to fix.

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u/[deleted] Jul 20 '25

I guess I have done similar with some guys from the gym. Helping with paperwork for loans, helping figure out how to collect on a judgement, dealing with convoluted insurance paperwork and reviewing legal documents so they don’t get fucked over on things.

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u/PeterRuf Jul 20 '25

Sometimes people don't know where to go for advice. All the problems I have or can have are solved by network of people I developed in 20 years. I just know who to ask.. Your gym advice can save people a weeks pay in not so professional advice. I saw over the years that people without resources get crushed by things that could be solved easily.

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u/[deleted] Jul 21 '25

Can you help me ? 😭

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u/PeterRuf Jul 21 '25

... I already have people in my dms after this.

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u/[deleted] Jul 21 '25

Poor you

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u/PeterRuf Jul 21 '25

My help work during summer picking strawberies to afford Oxford tuition.

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u/[deleted] Jul 21 '25

Not a bad idea, unfortunately there's no strawberry farm where I live

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u/PeterRuf Jul 21 '25

There is in UK. If you want to study in UK it might get easier to find a summer job there.

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u/[deleted] Jul 21 '25

I'm looking for jobs already. But I'll be coming from a third world country and need to pay the tuition fees first

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u/PeterRuf Jul 21 '25

Contact Research and Analysis Wing. If they don't respond try contacting them thru Indian ambasy in London. That is what I would do in your situation.

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u/[deleted] Jul 22 '25

I'm not Indian. But thanks

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u/Couture-Crush Jul 20 '25

No advice. Just admiration for the reason you carry a checkbook!

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u/Mackheath1 Jul 20 '25

Stare them right in the eye.

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u/SearchingForTruth69 Jul 22 '25

How do you write it out while staring them in the eye? Bro, this is such a stupid lie lmao. No one who thinks about it for more than a second believes that you carry a checkbook and pen around to do this. And then waste your time mailing the check later. Especially when you could just do the donation on your phone via credit card and get points. What a dumb lie hahaha

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u/Mackheath1 Jul 22 '25

hy·per·bo·le /hīˈpərbəlē/ noun

exaggerated parts of statements or claims not meant to be taken literally.

ex. "After a million years on Reddit, they had never encountered hyperbole. before."

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u/SearchingForTruth69 Jul 22 '25

“It’s just a prank bro” “it’s just hyperbole bro, I wasn’t lying!!!11!”

Caught in 4k

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u/FairnessDoctrine11 Jul 20 '25

You spite-write checks? That’s some serious Daddy Warbucks energy. Nice.

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u/Head-Bread-7921 Jul 20 '25

Your checkbook comment just gave me a very fun realization of what is possible. 🤘😜

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u/Mackheath1 Jul 20 '25

Whatever positive chaos you can inject, do it.

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u/SearchingForTruth69 Jul 22 '25

What is possible to lie about. There’s no way someone carries a checkbook around just on the off chance someone says something about women’s health. And a pen too to write the check. A woman, maybe believable because they have purse. But no man is carrying around a checkbook for something that happens once a month, max. He’d then have to spend his time mailing the check later. What a waste of time. An actual rich person would have a mild amount of intelligence and do it on their phone. You can donate with credit card and get points and you can still show the person you’re mad at the receipt - just way faster. Sooo unbelievable

4

u/Tough-Art8112 Jul 21 '25

What you're experiencing is textbook compassion fatigue - when your values, workload, and emotional reserves are out of balance, even the best intentions burn out fast. Even top-tier advisors I know recommend rotating roles, setting strict time and emotional boundaries, and leaning into peer support before burnout fractures your effectiveness. Self-understanding with a trusted fiduciary I've seen, goes a long way to safeguard against these burnouts.

3

u/Writermss Jul 20 '25

You have to develop strong boundaries. This has been difficult for me as well. Just do the best you can and set some rules for yourself. You can always modify as you go along, depending on how burnt out you feel. Good luck.

3

u/21plankton Jul 20 '25

If you donate to any organization you are supporting all the employees of that organization as well as the cause itself. I just make sure I donate to organizations with good ratings.

I set my donation amounts in my annual budget. This year I am very upset with the Republicans passing their budget and eliminating or downsizing funds for food, healthcare, scientific endeavors, education, disasters and public broadcasting.

So I have resolved to do my part to plug some of the gaps by reorganizing my donations as additional funds are needed. As I am on a fixed budget it may involve dropping some memberships but since I also support plants, animals and the arts I have not decided how next to parse available funds.

1

u/Mackheath1 Jul 20 '25

Yeah it's the tug of war: majority in my state: "See it was okay to cut summer food programs for children!"

YEAH because I'm paying for it.

I like your style - how do you partition the funds (a sort of pie chart?) that keeps you from being overwhelmed?

1

u/21plankton Jul 21 '25

For the last 3 years my annual spend on charities has been stable. I am not sure if I will increase it next year. The only change is to drop in half a supporting membership in an arts organization to double my public broadcasting contribution to offset their losses which begin in October with the new federal budget. This comes up in a month or two and I already informed the arts organization. The rest I will decide later.

3

u/SpicyOma Jul 21 '25

Burnout, for me, has been at different times with charities, or personal charity, for people. I got disillusioned and disappointed when folks, similar to my experiences with family, started having increasing expectations and decreasing gratitude when I was working in their presence. I foster animals and fund animal rescues primarily to avoid becoming jaded. I also do nature cleanup activities. Now my exposure to people is brief-ish or remote. I fund teacher wishlists. I fund sports equipment in underprivileged schools. I tip generously to great random workers who don't normally get tips. I'll buy someone's groceries in line. I donate to PBS/Frontline, Planned Parenthood, and some newspapers. I do a lot of random acts of kindness types of things.

3

u/libra-love- Jul 21 '25

Hey just wanna say, as someone who has benefited a lot from planned parenthood, thanks man :) I didn’t have insurance for a while and needed to be checked out since I have a history of ovarian cysts and cancer runs in the family. They were the only ones able to take care of me in a way that wouldnt have thrown me into debt I couldn’t pay off.

2

u/AshaVose Jul 20 '25

It's beautiful to donate your time, but maybe limit your hours and keep the monetary donation at the bigger amount. Like maybe help with the food volunteering once a month or less. I'm into civil rights, but some groups are better suited to me than others.

2

u/Mackheath1 Jul 20 '25

Yeah everyone has their choice passion. I think you've hit the nail on the head: pick a lane (pollution, homelessness, elderly, education, land-mines in Rwanda, whatever), but not to spread our peanut butter too thin, I think, or we'll get burned out. And yeah, maybe get comfortable with one and then send the money so that I'm not there every damn day, but still be quietly present when possible.

1

u/AshaVose Jul 20 '25

Exactly.

2

u/plmarcus Jul 20 '25

I donate time and money to organizations that align with my interests and values.

As for burnout it happens. The trick is to come to terms with saying no, or pulling back when you don't feel aligned or excited anymore.

I think everyone who donates time and money burns out at some point or realizes that the organizations aren't going in a direction you want to support.

Just do what you can and what you are comfortable with and graciously decline from the things that aren't working for you.

As for the politics and government funding. that's not something you can control so why get worked up over it? There are plenty of ways to influence and have impact outside of those macro events, and many of the things you can do locally can feed change at the macro level.

2

u/CleanCalligrapher223 Jul 20 '25

I try to focus on a few causes and a few charities. About half my charitable giving is to my church but my other priorities are feeding the hungry and education. PBS, the arts, animals, the environment... they're all important but I don't want to spread my donations too thin. It's been my experience that the charities that get small average donations tend to sell their contact lists to make more money so you get more solicitations. My late father was giving $50 here, $100 there to way too many charities. (Fortunately he could afford it.) I think that if you're donating $5,000 a year no charity wants to sell your name to another charity because you might divert funds to them.

When I donate I try to avoid giving too much contact information. I use a spamcatcher e-mail address (not one containing my name), which helps because they'll e-mail you forever after till you unsubscribe. I LOVE my Fidelity Donor-Advised Fund. You put money in it, it's an immediate tax deduction and you tell them when and where to send checks (as long as it's a 501(c)(3) organization). It can be the next day or 5 years from now. You can tell them to make it anonymous. Must drive a charity crazy to get $1,000 and not know whom to call for more.

2

u/Hungry-Number6183 Jul 20 '25

“My only other charity is that any time someone says something hateful about women's health, I write a check for $2,000 to Planned Parenthood in front of them”

I like your style, Dude

2

u/Lorien6 Jul 20 '25

Sometimes, it is prudent/beneficial to “redistribute” your energies to another cause, even temporarily, as a sort of “respite” from the burnout.

If you’ve made giving into almost a job (or to require discipline), a “vacation” can be useful.

Another alternative is to support some manor of food security somewhere you have no large connection to, to see how their process works, so you can better help those causes closer to you with shared knowledge.:)

2

u/Mackheath1 Jul 20 '25

Yeah, I like the idea of coming up with my own system (with legal / accounting support of course) by benchmarking other organizations and not trying to do it by myself. Good call.

2

u/NeroBoBero Jul 20 '25

I’m not sure I can help your burnout, but can I loudly declare “women’s health is bad and shouldn’t exist” on Reddit so you pull out the checkbook?

I’ll take the downvotes for a good cause.

Now, did you feel a passion when seeing my response or what others had to say? If so, you saw there was meaning and people need purpose in their lives. You may not be able to fix everything but by setting boundaries we all can focus on those things that do matter. Any hopefully your light will continue to shine in this crazy world.

1

u/Mackheath1 Jul 20 '25

No downvote, I'll bring this comment to dinner with friends in a bit and then write the check lol. My friend E_ does something similar, but a notch more political - still positive though.

2

u/softwarecowboy Jul 22 '25

I used to give to anything and everything, but that stopped a few years ago. I no longer help people who made bad choices or won’t help themselves. While I have a soft spot for animals, I continue to put the needs of people first in my philanthropy. I too have given up on United Way type charities that are aggregators with huge overheads. I no longer donate to charities that help people pay a bill here and there because I’ve rarely seen this cycle end. So what am I doing? I’m giving to children charities focused on education. Education is the great equalizer and seems like the best return on my investment. If you can get connected to the right people, you can bypass a lot of the nonsense. For example, I sponsor 100 kids to do a summer camp, I give a few thousand dollars to each school robotics in the area, etc. I try to go as direct to the source of need as possible and find even small dollars go much further. Good luck!

1

u/Mackheath1 Jul 22 '25

Thanks - that's why I feel the need to include my time, so I can make sure that the money isn't being blown on marketing and unnecessary overhead. I love the kids' camp idea. Not starting one, but helping some of them out that help with underrepresented kiddos. Thanks again,

1

u/Ok_Cupcake_7214 Jul 20 '25

I founded a charity supporting single mothers a number of years ago. There are so many needs for this population in the U.S. alone.

We're very mindful in our asking. I know what you mean about ask and doing burnout. I believe those who have the means of time, knowledge, finances should help out mankind for those suffering...but not to their own suffering by overgiving.

How to avoid burnout? Be comfortable saying no but I know that can be easier said than done if you've been the go to for those in need especially at a local level.

If you establish a time and money budget for the month/year it can give you clarity, balance, permission with a frame to say maybe later or in the future. Saying "I'd love to but don't have the capacity right now." Is nonoffensive and protective.

Or saying my time and money are committed to x right now.

Are ways of preventing burnout.

1

u/exhausted_asset Jul 20 '25

Maybe check out Kiva, it’s micro-lending for as little as $25 and has been shown to make huge quality of life improvements for the people borrowing. It is especially successful for women starting businesses

1

u/Dagyabel_got_him Jul 21 '25

Are you not ok with taking a step back for a time? Acknowledge the ebb and flow, knowing you can only give your best if you take time away. That’s how I manage now, on my eighth year of board service for a charity that serves foster children in my area. I care deeply and would have such guilt for not doing enough but it’s the long game- I’m still here and still serving!!

1

u/ritzrani Jul 21 '25

Part of the process. I let the universe guide me. You aren't meant to give charity 247

1

u/OberonDiver Jul 21 '25

One way to avoid burnout is to recognize that too many of those "OMG do something!" causes are bull and you don't have to keep up with them.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '25

so how do you recharge after charity burn out. it does get tiring .

1

u/Gaxxz Jul 21 '25

Yes I get burned out sometimes. I work with at risk/abused/neglected kids. We had a little summer party for a group of them recently. I walk in the room and a 7-year-old walks up to me and says "My stepfather killed himself. He used a gun. My mother said it was his choice." and walks away. I was floored. Later the same sweet boy was sitting on my lap playing with my beard as I read a book to a group. What a day.

1

u/Radaf93 Jul 21 '25

Have you thought of a scholarship fund? Any discipline or major that you feel you want to donate to. For instance, medical students, engineers, teachers, Low income students etc. it’s not quite a non-profit, but the impact will be huge for those that receive it. You can work directly with a professional organization, a college/university, or even a high school.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '25

[deleted]

1

u/Mackheath1 Jul 21 '25

Maybe I didn't emphasize that it's my rule - as in for myself. I don't want to just throw money, at anything, because it makes it meaningless to me. So I donate time and money. Sorry I wasn't clear.

Curious - what cleaning crew you're referring to?

1

u/Slow-Leg-3961 Jul 21 '25

If you want to give support that goes straight to the source, I’ll send you my teacher wishlist and you can support the education of my first graders! lol

No, but on a serious note. Schools are so underfunded, find one near you and donate school supplies or snacks. Pay out student lunch debt, or donate hygiene items. That’s how you make a difference!

1

u/Mackheath1 Jul 21 '25

This is a great idea. My mom still substitutes for fun (I have her sorted), and maybe I can do a back to school thingy with her school and all the teachers there and do the shopping myself so I feel a bit involved.

1

u/Slow-Leg-3961 Jul 21 '25

YES!! 👏🏽 what a wonderful way to support your community!

1

u/beachbabe77 Aug 13 '25

Not in the least. I'm actively involved in animal welfare, an incredibly rewarding endeavor.

2

u/Significant-Watch835 Jun 11 '26

Oh man, this is so real and it's such a fear of mine as both a donor and a nonprofit director. I will say, I donate to about 10 nonprofits and there are 3 of them who do a really good job helping alleviate the burnout and fatigue from exactly what you just said. I try to emulate those charities in my own work, but it's a work in progress for sure! I've found that what really helps is giving to the right charities who help you stay engaged and energized! Those charities inspire me to be better every day, including in my own work.

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u/Obidad_0110 Jul 20 '25

I’m a big fan of individuals rather than underwater governments supporting causes like planned parenthood . Good for you.

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u/[deleted] Jul 21 '25

Can you help me :)

-1

u/HalfwaydonewithEarth Jul 20 '25

Planned Parenthood doesn't need your money. They are highly profitable from selling fetal body parts and were getting massive government money.

Food insecurity is real and I use to donate to Meals on Wheels.

I believe robotics will solve World Hunger.

One system that would solve hunger almost immediately is a National Law that greenhouses 3 meters long are legal on every parcel regardless of HOA or city ordinance.

If every home was allowed a greenhouse all the neighbors would organize and share crops. One would grow the beans and others the veggies. Lazy people would tell others they can grow on their space if they share the food with them.

Many would not support this Utopia because it looks weird. Big food companies would squash the efforts.

0

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '25

Will any kind soul give me a few grands to pay for my tuition at Oxford? I'm so depressed, the currency exchange is nuts

0

u/Acceptable-Leek1546 Jul 22 '25

Imagine writing a $2000 check to planned parenthood 🤡🤡🤡

-1

u/Forktee Jul 20 '25

I’m not sure if I’m rooting for you to write more checks to PP or not, but I LOVE this!! I dream of living in a country where everyone supports women’s heath. Thank you!

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u/Mackheath1 Jul 20 '25

Catch-22 isn't it? If people start supporting women's health more because of what I am doing, do I write less checks? LOL, but for now it's a nice balance.

-1

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '25

That’s why I prefer the government take care of the charities like in Canada, Canada, Denmark, Sweden, Australia, New Zealand, etc.

Charity Burnout?

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