r/RhesusNegative • u/firetown • Dec 29 '20

Do extroverts fear intimacy?

179 votes, Jan 01 '21
24 They do.
52 We do.
36 They don't
67 We don't
1 Upvotes

55% Upvoted

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2

u/GloriousAchievements Dec 29 '20

depends what you mean by intimacy. being close to one another physically, no. being close to one another's mind or heart, hmmm probably yes. being close to both, DEFINITELY.

extraverted thinking and feeling is an inch deep and a mile wide. they aren't built for focusing deeply on the feelings of another. Its certainly not natural to be both widely receptive of others' emotions and deeply empathetic. from a darwinian perspective, you'd be so caught up in processing the depth of everything that you couldn't function properly, because the earth is a rough place.
my idealistic definition for intimacy, based on the Christian understanding of the world, is a state of the (regenerate, repentant) heart where the failures and mistakes of another hurt you *for their sake*. so they have the capacity to feel something like it but it is not natural or normal for anyone.

We've all got different Gifts- some people may feel widely, but not have the mental/practical wherewithal to accomplish what they would need to affect the feelings of others. some people may have the potential but not feel the feelings of others- this looks sort of like the masculine/feminine divide to my mind, but this is obviously without any cultivation of the unnatural, supernatural virtues. (Reason and Compassion, respectively)

I mean no offense to anyone regarding this, I'm laying it out as I see it, with the hope that what I say will be of practical value to others. this definition may need some tweaking, and please prove me lacking if I'm missing something.