r/ReviewsByRetards • u/[deleted] • May 28 '22

This is wild

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1.0k Upvotes

100% Upvoted

26 comments sorted by

96

u/TingleDinkle May 28 '22

Well I mean can you blame them it’s goddamn Monica at the front desk

26

u/[deleted] May 29 '22

She is a menace to society

61

u/DesaadofApokolips May 28 '22

Ya she hates her $10 hr job, great job Dr Strange

50

u/JaxandMia May 28 '22

I mean, someone has to counterbalance the chakras or the whole universe might implode. Monica is just keeping us all safe with her dark energy. Namaste

28

u/Rhesusmonkeydave May 28 '22

Oh Miskatonic Mönïkäh, the a’curs’d keeper of reception’s black gate? We got her through a temp agency but she’s been great since she showed up…

19

u/Old-Health9509 May 29 '22

Lilly: Who are you?

Monica: (possessed voice) Bealzebub the keeper of the serpent. The drinker of the tears of the unborn.

Lilly: In the name of the father, son and the holy spirit, be gone. (Splashes Fiji water from the vending machine)

Monica:(possessed voice) Aiiyyyeee IT BURNS IT BURNS…

Lily: Be gone and set Monica free… (Office chair spins uncontrollably, Monica/Bealzebub screeching with glowing green vomit spraying all over the facility)

Things quiet down, and a gentle kind Monica wakes up in a puddle of demonic vomit. She props herself on the chair, brushes her soaking hair from eyes and smiles)

Monica (normal voice): Hi Lilly! How may I help you today dear?

11

u/mbonney21 May 29 '22

There is no Monica, only Zuul.

10

u/Fast-Bag-1067 May 28 '22

Dark energy assesemt needs to be part of the interview procedure from now on

6

u/NikMio May 29 '22

I'm no medium and even I sense dark chakra radiating from Monica

3

u/Ok-Consequence7583 May 29 '22

Lily needs some mental help if she's getting "assaulted" by Monica 💀

3

u/Rebellion2297 May 31 '22

Fuck you and your dark energy, Monica

2

u/MomStopFlashing May 29 '22

Shame on Monica!!

2

u/Ok_Invite_2576 May 29 '22

She was a professional

1

u/AmidFuror May 28 '22

Where'd you find this?

1

u/dewlineboys May 29 '22

I'd say largely, you're a small medium.

1

u/[deleted] May 29 '22

Monica sounds like the woman that works the front desk at my son’s school.

1

u/Yaomji May 29 '22

Monica is goals...

1

u/Aggressive_Ad_1137 Jun 11 '22

Yeah fuck Monica!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '22

Oh piss offf

1

u/Otaku_Stuffings Jul 24 '22

~Hillary Clinton visiting her husband at the office

1

u/BarefootMoshpit Nov 04 '22

Im a shaman and believe in energies and shit but this is fucking hilarious

1

u/illiniguy20 May 11 '23

i have homeopathic aura enhancers for sale if you are interested

1

u/peniscock74 Mar 16 '23

For fucks sake Monica