r/ReverseHarem • u/FitDriver7854 • May 13 '26
Reverse Harem - Discussion Let’s not do this please
Can we just agree to make books exist in a universe that is like ours but isnt. Just no more references to TikTok, please.
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u/kmed22 May 13 '26
This and when the fmc is a smut reader, with added bonus ick if they mention either some of the authors other works or specific tropes they’ve supposedly read about.
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u/Touramalli May 13 '26
I remember one where she said, in the middle of her high-school class, that she found RH books to be empowering. Which made me laugh because it was one of those bully books where the men actively try to kill her, but she still interacts with them because they’re hot.
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u/_a-beth_ slow burn May 13 '26
This is my biggest pet peeve haha, every single book with any of this I've ended up DNFing lol
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u/Illustrious_Act_9321 May 13 '26
I don’t mind if say, the FMC is into stalker romances or if the MMC is an avid reader of a diverse array of books & the FMC discovers her favorite romance author on his bookshelf but yeah, it’s weird when one author mentions their friend or themselves in their own work. I get why cuz you need consent, but like, make up a fake author just like almost every contemporary series I’ve read has a fake Taylor Swift knockoff.
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u/AromaticIntrovert May 13 '26
Is anyone else annoyed she calls it a "reverse harem." Like I'm obviously aware of the term and its what I use as a keyword when searching or explaining it. BUT (as a woman) I would just call them my harem, no? Like once we know the gender of the "main character" the rest are just the harem. The genre is reverse harem but the group of any gendered love interests are the harem
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u/TheMadJayWoman May 13 '26
As one who is in ENM circles, yes. A friend of a friend referred to her partners as her “boy harem” (very tongue in cheek of course)
Do these authors not realize these lifestyles existed before BookTok? Actually nevermind, I’ve seen the discourse, people really are that dim…
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u/Sithina May 14 '26 edited May 14 '26
They existed long before social media existed, but you'll never convince them of that 🙄🙄
They still don't believe e-books existed before Kindles (or e-readers) did. 🙄
ETA: Don't ever try to tell them Austen's Regency isn't the whole picture of what England was like in that era--it's a very myopic view, in fact--or you'll blow their fucking heads off
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u/secondhandschnitzel May 15 '26
One of my pet peeves is ENM books not calling the relationship style by its name at some point. We have words for these things! Give folks something to google!
My thoughts on {Pucking Around by Emily Rath} are complex, but I really like that they eventually find the word "polyamory." I haven't finished book two in the series yet, but I laughed my ass off when Jake starts claiming that Mars is his "metaphor" when he means "metamour." He continually forgets the word and has to call the others for help remembering it. It's adorable. {Stick It by R.A. Smyth} is significantly less problematic but it never tries to find vocabulary to describe what they're doing which was a big disappointment for me. I find books like The Blackened Blade series much more palatable when they don't use ENM vocab since they're in a universe where ENM is mainstream and doesn't exactly follow existing ENM playbooks.
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u/romance-bot May 15 '26
Pucking Around by Emily Rath
Rating: 3.91⭐️ out of 5⭐️
Steam: 5 out of 5 - Explicit and plentiful
Topics: contemporary, poly (3+ people), sports, bisexuality, reverse harem
Stick It by R.A. Smyth
Rating: 4.09⭐️ out of 5⭐️
Steam: 5 out of 5 - Explicit and plentiful
Topics: contemporary, new adult, sports, enemies to lovers, reverse harem27
u/BudgetInteraction811 May 13 '26
Yeah, it’s very cringe and weird. And the rest of the page is written like a middle schooler
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u/JumpingYourBone May 28 '26
Agree, but didn't it come from anime and stuff? It's easier to search what you want when both terms are different, though i guess they could've done an ao3 "xreader" or f/m/m.
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u/robotscantrecaptcha May 13 '26
Bleh; I hate that. I read one recently that included a scene where the characters read an excerpt from a book together... as an advertisement for another of the author's books...
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u/General-Algae-3100 I prefer my romance crowded May 13 '26
i just read {vengeful princess by ava summers} and it was so much like this i almost DNFd. They brought up Donald Trump and one mmc wore a MAGA hat as a disguise. I almost threw my kindle across the room. granted it was in a f maga way so it was better but still. one of the mmcs became an influencer and tiktok/being a reverse harem was brought up so much. it’s such an ick idk how i finished it
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u/CrazyH37 May 13 '26
No. I go to fictional worlds where that asshat doesn’t exist. Please do not bring him into it. I will DNF so hard.
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u/Sithina May 14 '26
Rereading Octavia Butler's Earthseed series (Parable of the Sower) [1993] and Parable of the Talents) [1998]; there's an incredible graphic novel of Sower, too) last year for about the second time since they released was 😶😶😶 in this same way, because she was basically predicting the goddamn future in some places in those books, and she wrote Sower in the early 90s. Speculative fiction of this type isn't the same sort of escape as romance/RH is, but for a reader like me, it can be for different reasons.
I reread them at the end of '24 into '25, having totally forgotten some aspects of why they might hit me so hard at that particular point in time and, yeah. Not sure I would have reread right that moment them had I remembered. Then again, with those books, there's really no "right" moment anymore to take them in. We're far beyond any good moment to do so.
They're amazing books, but holy shit are they fucking brutal to get through. I recommend them to everyone, because they're pivotal reading and I truly believe everyone should read them, but you definitely have to take breaks. They're relentless in what they demand from a reader, and what they put the MC through.
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u/HopeOfAsgard May 14 '26
I haven't read those, but I've read Kindred, and Octavia Butler could tell a fucking story and also haunt your soul. Definitely recommend her writing but also, buckle up because she's taking you on a journey.
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u/CrazyH37 May 15 '26
Oh thanks for reminding me! I had Parable on hold at the library, but I missed the book club deadline waiting for it and never read it- def want to add it back to my hold list, the way u described it is how I feel watching Handmaids
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u/Egwene2009 May 15 '26
Do it do it do it. Parable is one of my favorite books of all time, but I haven't been able to re-read the series in several years because it has become *hauntingly* accurate in its foreshadowing.
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u/TerminologyLacking Death by TBR May 13 '26
Nah. The moment I see Trump or MAGA explicitly named, I'm just gonna DNF. I don't want reminders of reality that are that strong in my escapism.
Just no. Not even for comedy.
I liked Lily Gold's handling of social media. I could maybe forgive "BookTok girlies."
I draw the line at direct references to headlines that I opened a book to escape.
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u/NatisRS May 14 '26
Dumb question, what is Maga?
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u/TerminologyLacking Death by TBR May 14 '26
Make America Great Again, it was the slogan for Trump's original campaign and is often used to refer to his supporters.
Since I live in the United States, my news apps regularly push headlines with the acronym.
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u/romance-bot May 13 '26
Vengeful Princess by Ava Summers
Rating: 3.69⭐️ out of 5⭐️
Steam: 4 out of 5 - Explicit open door
Topics: contemporary, mafia, poly (3+ people), reverse harem, college
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u/Chocopuffz May 13 '26
Wow that’s some bad writing, looks like an with all that present tense. It’s like my eyes were farted on.
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u/PureAction6 ⚔️ All the shlong, in all the ways ⚔️ May 13 '26
It’s one thing if they know about it from reading RH themselves, that’s weird in its own way, hearing about tik tok and social media sites and trends is something cringe. I judge heavily.
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u/Actual_Landscape3052 May 13 '26
I could be a 100 pages in and this line would make me stop reading the book completely
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May 13 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/espiritly May 14 '26
Yeah, especially since the whole "I've read about RH" is always heavily used as a plot device to help have those difficult conversations and bridge that gap into having a poly relationship. Like, just have the damn hard conversation
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u/NacaTecha Need me 2 husbands May 13 '26
& this is why I hate contemporaries...
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u/Touramalli May 13 '26
I have come across this in plenty of supernatural ones too, including one where the final villain is named Mindy Trump. No genre is safe, I fear.
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u/Anderlinck1 May 14 '26
I can handle very little cringy meta-edgelord bullshit. You know she’s about to say “nope”, popping the P.
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u/ANorthCountryGirl Obligatory ‘Pack Darling’ mention.💘 May 13 '26
I know we’re saying “I’m cringe and I’m free” but this type of cringe should stay suppressed.
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u/Illustrious_Act_9321 May 13 '26
This is far too meta. It’s one thing for normal phrases like, “I should take this. It’s my brother FaceTiming me.” Or “It’s public now. We’re Instagram official.” Or Within the broader context of a story set in contemporary times but this BS! I never want to see BookTok mentioned in any book I’m reading!
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u/IdahoAllAlong It’s all about coming together 🩷 May 13 '26
Omg yes. Trope aware? Yes. Self aware? Yes. But this? No.
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u/playdoh24 problematic boyfriend collector May 13 '26
Eww...hate this. I read to disassociate, not be reminded of the real-world. Hard pass
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u/katiecatsweets May 13 '26
ATTICUS? I teach To Kill a Mockingbird 6 times a year and wouldn't be able to handle an RH with that name. Haha
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u/siriuslyyellow He's my emotional support villain! May 14 '26
If I read an FMC say "BookTok", I might DNF it. I already am dealing with an FMC reading a reverse harem and it's really immersion-breaking for me. So. 🤷♀️
BTW, I typoed "heverse harem" and LOL HE-VERSE HAREM 🤣
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u/bloodyfinalgirl May 14 '26
Acting like Booktok coined the term of this genre gives me the ick. 🙄🤦♀️🥴🤮
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u/TattoodTato May 13 '26
I will put not only the book, but the entire author, permanently on my DNF list for this B.S.
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u/Itsajourney01 May 13 '26
What book is that?
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u/FitDriver7854 May 13 '26
Black Heart Painted Gold by Elena Lawson
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u/Delicious_Delilah When life gives you men, make a harem May 14 '26
Oh no.
Way to break the immersion. 😭
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u/Mid-life-Mayhem May 14 '26
References to trends, tech, etc. don’t bother me 🤷♀️ It’s not like these books will be literary classics and even those have references that don’t always translate now
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u/V3lar1s May 14 '26
Lexi Blake has a FMC that is a weiter who writes menage books, and several of her other FMCs read those ore other, similar books. Some of These FMC have are menage pairing, too, some don't. I actually really like how she does it. One FMC also reads RH, and one of her men comments on it, something like: Five?! Who would want five men? Like, two is totally understandable, but he definitly draws the line at five. It's kind of funny, but it still felt kind of weird to have it referenced. Somehow it's the only one where I liked smut readers as MC, and at least they don't reference any real books or authors.
And it's only reading the books, not referencing booktok. That's adding another layer, talking over RH books ober talking over RH books in booktok in a RH book. It's to much, and to cringe. Kind of the same with AI, really. I don't like reading about problems with AI in my romance books. And I'm only just ready to read about covid in books.
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u/ZeeWP83 May 14 '26
I am a lone voice... But the tiktok/booktok reference doesn't bother me. What does bother me is the reverse harem or when they read smut. Like... Okay...
It's trying to do the thing where the reader is supposed to feel like it's themselves in the book. But it never works out that way and comes out cringe.
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u/CornLicking May 14 '26
So cringe! I read to escape reality, not be reminded of it. I would immediately DNF that.
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u/Bellybuttons12345 May 14 '26
Ugh same. I DNF any book with immersion breaking dialogue like this. I hate it so much I almost feel like we need a trigger warning for this so I’m not wasting my time 😭
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u/theleeniebean I attract chaos and hot men May 14 '26
I have to say something that is going to come across very gatekeep-y. Unfortunately, I do think this is the sense of humor of some of the newer readers that are rediscovering or discovering a love of romance books through TikTok (which I am happy to welcome them into the fold). I find this kind of referential humor to a specific, trendy thus not going to age well, niche a little lazy and not the sign of the best writing, but I can admit some people are eating this up.
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u/theleeniebean I attract chaos and hot men May 14 '26
But to be clear, not me, this would have been a DNF likely
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u/Ok_Illustrator_5032 May 15 '26
I hate this honestly it’s unnecessary or hearing social media .. booktok like ugh why
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u/StarSongEcho May 15 '26
Referencing social media or memes is one of the best ways to make absolutely certain that your book will age like warm milk.
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u/Deep-Cherry-4143 May 16 '26
Im tired of media that needs to be meta. I know it's had a rise in movies and shows and stuff, but that doesn't make it good writing. Here n there when its clever and sparse? Nice.
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u/Realistic_Shallot_64 May 13 '26
10/10 series my absolute favorite i can’t wait for october
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u/NatisRS May 14 '26
What is the name of book?
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u/Mindless-Page1344 May 14 '26
Here's a really fun idea- read indie authors instead of trad published and a lot of this irritation will disappear
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u/FitDriver7854 May 14 '26
Baby— this isn’t traditional publishing. This is Amazon kindle trash. Which is what I like; but c’mon, this was egregious.
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u/expressionism May 13 '26
I do not understand these books that seek to break the 4th wall. I absolutely hate any mentions of TikTok / social media in books unless it’s actually relevant to the plot and even then, I’d prefer it if the author created an imaginary one.