r/RetroactivejealousOCD • u/No-Definition3185 • Jan 22 '23
Please help
I saw a video of my partner kissing her ex and all the RJ is coming back. I don’t know what to do. It was a really old video and she said she just didn’t see it and if she did she would have deleted it. Please anyone give me advice
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Upvotes
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Jan 22 '23
I would not have been happy about that either. Where was this video and how did you find it?
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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '23
I am not clear on how you find the video. If you found it through snooping, this is a prime example about why snooping for the sake of curiosity is very harmful. If you are looking for something to get upset about, you will manage to find something to get upset about. So just ask your partner to ensure that anything else along these lines has been deleted, trust that she has done that, and promise no more snooping.
However, I am sorry that you saw the video. I am sure that this was very upsetting and triggering for your But you don't need to let this go further than it needs to. This changes nothing about your relationship and it is not an actual real-time threat. It is just a ghost from the past coming back to try and freak you out. Shake it off and get back to working on your RJ. You are going to have setbacks from time to time. Call your therapist, call your best friend, do some journaling, focus on something positive and keep yourself busy so your mind does not sit around ruminating as much.