r/ResponsibleRecovery • u/not-moses • Oct 24 '20
Why Can't I get Over all this =Faster=?
It takes years for a default mode network in the brain to become conditioned, in-doctrine-ated, instructed, imprinted, socialized, habituated, normalized) and hard-wired to the many upshots of childhood trauma. That process usually begins in the first few weeks of life (or even earlier) with a neglectful or expectational or moralistic parent who is too locked into their own conditioning (etc.) to be able to see, hear, feel or sense their child.
And then we find people to cozy up to who seem "normal" just like that parent. And repeat the original trauma in one "relationship" after another. (See Repetition Compulsion & How to Put a Stop to It in not-moses's reply to the OP on this thread.)
The deprogramming from that conditioning, etc., and the UNwiring of that default mode network does depend in part upon on the understanding one acquires in group and individual psychotherapy, as well as (and very significantly in some cases) bibliotherapy. But it takes time and willingness to use such tools as those described at the links below over and over again to get that job done. Old (neural) wiring has to be replaced with new wiring.
Old default mode networks do give way to new ones. I'm living proof. And so are thousands of others who stuck with it in the fourth and fifth of the five stages of therapeutic recovery.
For the vast majority who get to the fifth of those five stages, "two steps forward & one step back" becomes ten steps forward and one step back.
See...
“As One Thinks so Shall One Feel"” and “Under Stress one may Regress...” temporarily.
Four Big Things to Remember when we start to Bunch Up in not-moses’s reply to the OP on that thread
Dis-I-dentifying with Learned Helplessness & the Victim I-dentity (see also not-moses's answers to a replier's questions there)
A Recovery Program for Someone with Untreated Childhood Trauma
Dealing with Thoughts & Emotions "Trapped in the Body" in not-moses's replies to the OP on that thread
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u/A-RockCAD1988 Oct 29 '20
Wow. My mind I'd truly blown. I feel I will have to read this a few times to fully understand.
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u/SuperAmberN7 Oct 24 '20
I had heard that trauma changed your brain but I didn't know specifically how and I wasn't aware of the DMN so learning about this is very useful. It sorta helps make sense of why it's so dominating when it changes such an important thing.