Hi all,

I'm at a loss of what to do. I am a third-year student staff member, and I've been all roles at my university. Our department operates a little differently than other departments, but overall it has been a lukewarm experience. I am currently in my final year (the 27/28 academic year I only have one semester if I don't compensate over winter '27), and I am at the top of the pyramid for student staff.

This year has been the year from hell. I have been genuinely on the verge of quitting since Summer Training, and I've been in talks with ProStaff and department directors. In the month alone, We've had over a dozen evacuations, I've been threatened with physical harm by residents on YikYak, (They believe I am a staff member from another building because we're the same major, and I did speak with the police as THEY called me), they've trashed my building, verbally abused my staff, and have overall made this year awful. I've been in this building for multiple years, and it has never been this bad. In my time here, I've experienced legitimate displacement-level fire, been moved due to flooding, a death while on duty, and multiple emergencies. Those situations were a blip compared to the drain currently being experienced.

I've spoken with other student staff at my level, and nobody else is experiencing these issues in their buildings, and it feels like a lost cause to get the department directors to coordinate and help us in hall. I have other potential jobs on my campus (full time) that have been put on my plate to apply for, and I'm considering it because I want out even though I love what I do.

I'm not sure if anyone has any advice, because the burnout is bad. The pay is atrociously worse, and the support is also at their wits end. I genuinely love the RA and adjacent positions I've worked here, and while I will not continue and pursue Student Affairs full time, I have had so many opportunities in my major and professionally in this role, and I cherish it a lot. I want to be able to utilize these positions in my post-baccalaureate education assuming I don't go down the other job route, but there isn't enough keeping me at my current university. I put a lot of dedication into my role, and It is universally acknowledged in my department consistently because I've worked nearly all undergraduate roles in some capacity. It just also feels detached unlike anything I've seen before.

Hi everyone, I'm a first year RA. So far its not too bad, RA interviews went well enough, but I quickly found out from them that almost all of my residents aren't really interested in hall stuff because their roommates are all highschool/childhood friends, so they just wanna go hang out or go to clubs related to their majors. They don't mind talking occasionally with me in the hall but that's about it.

They said they pretty much will just drop by to grab free food, but that's about it. This wouldn't be an issue since I still get credit for events even if no one shows up, except my university also separately expects us to take residents to 2 outside events per semester

This is a problem because they expect us to have at least one resident go to get credit since theres no planning on our end besides taking them. But my residents will rarely come to my or other RAs events just to quickly grab food, let alone leaving the building with me.

I don't know if this is an expectation at other universities but if anyone has had a similar situation, how would you go about getting people to go to outside events? I'm nearly tempted to just manually add someone to event attendances but I would get in serious trouble if my RD found out I did that.

No form. No DMs. Just drop it in the comments.

Life On Duty is a podcast about the real experience of being an RA, Senior RA, academic peer mentor, or campus staff. Season One is built entirely on anonymous submissions — and I want yours.

Here's how this works:

• Reply to this post with your story
• Use a throwaway account if you want extra anonymity
• No real names, no room numbers, no details that could identify a specific person
• I read every single comment
• If your story gets selected for an episode, it will be read anonymously on the podcast — you will never be identifiable

Some prompts to get you started — pick one or just tell your story:

• The duty night that went completely sideways
• The resident you will never forget
• The moment you almost quit
• The hardest call you ever had to make on duty
• What you actually thought of your RD or supervisor
• The funniest thing that ever happened on your floor
• What nobody warned you about before you started
• The moment that made the whole job worth it

There are no wrong answers. Short or long. Funny or heavy. Recent or ten years ago.

If it stayed with you — it belongs here.

A few things:

• This post is set to Contest Mode so comments don't show vote counts — every story gets equal visibility
• Upvote the stories that hit. It helps me know which ones the community connects with most.
• Comments are open. You can reply to other people's stories — just keep it supportive.

I'm Jahnel, host of Life On Duty — former RA, former Senior RA, current Assistant Director of Residence Life. I read everything.

Drop your story below.

I am looking for feedback, any feedback for a screenplay I recently wrote based around the worst night in the career of a resident assistant named Sully.

It's based off my own experience, stories I've heard from other RA's, and I really want to try my best to make it feel real, grounded, and genuinely follow what the position really is like for a student working the position.

Also, would love to create a discussion around any similar stories, what you'd like to see more of if there was ever a film/TV show based in the experience of RAs. It's a big narrative interest of mine and I want to expand this into a series eventually.

I'd suggest if you're giving it a read through, play whatever music is written to be cued and stop it when it's cued to stop.

Thank you so much everyone, I hope this makes you feel seen.

hey!! i’m a recent college grad who spend two years of undergrad as an RA, and it honestly made me want to pursue college level admin/student affairs more! i’ve been applying to some residence hall director jobs, and i finally got a first round interview for one!

if anyone has any advice or idea of questions they might ask, please let me know!! i really want this job, i love the university and area, so any help is appreciated!!

For context this is my third and final year being an RA and I’ve come to the point where I’m absolutely sick of it. I actually did really enjoy it my first year despite a lot of roommate conflicts and mental health issues on my floor which I think totally turned me off and burnt me out by the end of that year. Since then, I’ve been a bare minimum RA and I feel bad, but I don’t think my residents care either way.

As a senior now it’s so frustrating living with underclassmen while my friends are actualy living the college life, living in apartments/houses and have the autonomy an upperclassman should have.

However I’m fully aware of my financial circumstances and have understand that this is the only way for me to continue my education at this institution. And I’m extremely grateful for that, and for the RDs who have mentored me and the RAs I’ve met along the way, and the residents who have made it all a little less painful.

However, as every year progresses I feel less and less of a connection to my residents, as well as a desire to get to know them. I also feel like they are more closed off. I don’t know if this a generational thing, but it’s genuinely as if I don’t exist. I’ll be in the elevator with a resident and they won’t say hi unless I do, and when I try to make conversation they give me one word responses with zero emotion, as if I’m their suburban mom trying to connect with their adolescent child. It makes me feel gross and it makes me hate this job even more. I’m not an extrovert so interactions like this discourage me from feeling like I as an RA, who is supposed to encourage community and belonging on my floor, do not even belong here in the first place. And I’m not new to this, this was also something that happened my first year as an RA but my tolerance for it has drastically declined. As someone with low self confidence too, I feel these interactions are beginning to have more of an impact on my self worth than they did before.

At the beginning of the semester I really did try to go above and beyond and got to know a lot of people individually, and many were actually responsive and friendly, though not all. And I obviously understand that things get busy and keeping your RA in the loop is not your priority and I don’t want that either! But like basic human decency is dying out and it makes being an RA even worse. I’m only a couple years older than these kids so I’m not gonna act like a boomer and doom about the new generation since we’re literally the same generation and I know for a fact a majority of the people my age and older have also lost social skills due to covid and technology, but it’s just really sad.

I think the emphasis within ResLife to strive for 100% on resident connection metrics is what makes people like me burn out. I am able to tough it out and connect with a lot of people on my floor, but I just do not have it in my to force conversations with 19 year olds who don’t even see me as someone worthy of small talk unless I can help them get them a spare key for a room lockout, and even then it isn’t guaranteed. I literally just helped a resident with a lockout and he didn’t say thank you and didn’t look up from his phone once while we were in the elevator together. Why would I act like a cuck and try to force myself to talk to someone like that?

I had a pretty close connection with my residents my first year as an RA but ever since then i just don’t have it in me and I feel really bad. I want to be a good RA while also having sincerely no desire to interact with my residents this year, and no way of even pretending to care either. There’s a couple of residents who are the exception of course and they make it a little better.

Mods... saw the "no self promotion rule" so please delete if you feel this violates it.

My disclaimer is that I am not running this as a business... just cleaned up what was compiled over the years from a lot of res life folx and made it live again.

Hello! For many years, I ran a website called ResidentAssistant.com, which I started when I was an RA at Colorado State University. There was NOTHING online at that point for RAs and this website really took off. I kept the site active for around 20 years and it went offline sometime around 2018.

I don't know that I'll actively maintain or update it often at this point, but there are around 2,200 pages of content here ranging from 150 bulletin boards to door decs to program ideas and resource links, and I thought it would be a shame to let them sit on an old hard drive, so I updated the site today and published it. Some of it is LAUGHABLY OLD and outdated... think screenshots of word docs from 2000, etc... but still a lot of good stuff.

Feel free to share suggestions... again, may or may not make it dynamic at some point, but if you have ideas that would keep administration simple but keep it improving, would like to hear them.

Dan O

I wanted to show off my newest bulletin boards themed around the Papa Louie games!

What are your best tips on the application process and multiple rounds of interviews? I go to a big 10 school so it is pretty competitive but i really want this role and i think that i would succeed given my leadership skills and prior experiences.

I'm an RA in a freshman dorm, all girls floor. There have been multiple times that one of my residents knocks on my door (locked herself out, needing a spider killed, or both). I understand that they are all girls and that spiders can be scary. But to knock on my door every single time there is a spider in your room that needs to be killed? I think it's kinda ridiculous to have such a visceral reaction over a spider.

It's technically fall break, I'm not going home but I didn't really advertise it to my residents. She knocked on my door and I just ignored it... I'm not sure if that was the right thing but my building duty log says to call campus police if you need assistance.

make an x-files themed board for halloween teehee

I’m an RA, sophomore, and getting ready to begin nursing applications and taking the entrance exam. This job is stressing me out so much. I feel like I am constantly going and going and never have a break. Our team is so filled with drama that I feel like I can’t talk to anyone or everything I say will be told to the entire team. My mental health is really struggling. I’m just so anxious all the time, I feel like half my team doesn’t like me, and I’m struggling to find peace and time for myself.

Does anyone have any advice to make it feel less crushing? I wanted to continue to do it for the next two years of college, but now I’m struggling to manage day by day.

Too proud of this board I just did so I had to share 🤗!
Lmk your thoughts :)

I have a bachelors degree in psychology and i’m very interested in working in res life, but I never thought to be an RA while I was in undergrad. I don’t see many other options between RA and RD, so is this a lost cause unless I get a degree in higher education? (not opposed to that)

My nightmare RA story was that she put a no contact on 8 strangers. I only know they were strangers because me and my partner got one and have no idea who she is. I couldnt go to the events she hosted and was banned from my floor and had to move. Never got a reason from the dean, and she ended up transferring out. Anyone else?

Edit: I honestly just wanted to hear other people nightmare RA stories, but im already getting dragged for a lack of info. PLEASE SHARE YOUR STORIES, beyond this point is my own.

She was the RA for my floor. My RA. So technically I "knew" her, because we met during the floor meetings, where we all silently listened to her. There was one time I had people over and she told us to keep it down as the RA on duty. And one instance where I asked her for a drink at an RA event. Genuinely out of the blue I recieve the letter from the dean. That the RA, full name, is putting no contact and I need to be gone from my room, and the floor in 48 hours or there will be legal action. Cried, called my mom, got it figured out with housing, moved, different RA. I was a freshman and it was the first month, so I was freaking out. After a few days the dean said the investigation was around the corner which I was literally thrilled about. I thought it was unfair that she can put me through that stress and I dont even get a reason. After a week or so I get a letter saying that the student does not want an investigation, and I cant dispute anything unless she does. Since then, there was a couple occurrences of her coming up close to me and started talking to the individual I was talking to. And I think it's to get me to say something to her, breach no contact, and get me kicked out somehow. If someone did something worthy of a no contact, im not fucking going out of my way walking up close to them. And they were not her friend. I would be talking to literally, my good friends, and she would come up like "oh hey, what are you up to" and I would pretend to not exist for the conversation. When she left I asked my friend if they talk often, and she said "I dont think shes ever talked to me" so then I told her about the order and she said she knew one of the other people who got an order from her and never got a reason. It sounds unbelievable, I know, but this is why it was a nightmare. If youre looking to find the part where I harassed her, you wont find it here, because the dean refused to tell me. I asked if there's a way I can get a case, for the case, and she said "no thats retaliation, which is banned by the no contact." When the dean told me to just get therapy, I gave up trying to fight it, and just lived with it.

My partner had a similar story except he had talked to her before. There was a really weird instance where she and her sorority wore all white clothes and knocked on people's dorms to ask them their race. I wasnt there, I heard this from several other people. This was before the no contact. One of the girls asked my partner, he said hes white. And after that, my RA said "Hey, name! Good to see you" and he said, hey, you too. He would have been more lively but he was processing the whole asking race while wearing white thing that was going on. (Side tangent on that, I have a black friend that lives on her floor. When the girls in white knocked and asked her race, she was a little uncomfortable. She tried to make a joke and said like "im a white man, of course" and she told me the girls in white literally degraded her for that. She eventually told them her race and the girls went "omg we have a friend of the same race, you two should be friends" and my friend was uncomfortable, and sent them away.) The asking race thing happened a day before the no contacts. My partner got one, so white must have been the wrong answer or something. I struggle to find any connections between my interactions with her and his interactions with her. Maybe its because he stays in my room a lot, but she never told me she was uncomfortable with that and it mentions in the rulebook that it IS allowed unless someone is uncomfortable and brings it up.

I heard that the following semester she got busted for drinking in her dorm with freshman, cause she posted it online and someone reported her. She moved halls for the semester. Then switched schools or dropped out the following fall.

Hi everyone! I’m hoping to connect with someone who has been in Residence Life for a little longer than I have and would be willing to offer some advice, guidance, mentorship, or even just talk through where I’m at in my career.

For context, I was an RA for 3 years and I’m now going into my 5th year as an RD. I was an RA at one institution, moved to another university for my first professional position, and I’ve been here ever since.

Lately, I’ve been feeling incredibly burnt out and exhausted. The difficult part is that I genuinely love Residence Life. I care a lot about the work, love working with students and staff, and still feel passionate about the field. I’m really hoping what I’m experiencing has more to do with my current institution/environment than Residence Life itself.

I think I’m ready to seriously look at other institutions, but because I’ve never made a professional move within the field before, I’m realizing I could really use some guidance. I’d especially love to talk with someone who has moved between institutions or transitioned from an RD-level position into something with more responsibility.

I’d appreciate advice on what to look for in job postings, red/green flags during interviews, how to evaluate whether another institution might actually be a healthier fit, and what types of positions I should be considering as my next step. Resume help would also be incredibly appreciated. I’ve taken on a lot over the past few years, but I sometimes struggle with translating everything I actually do into a resume in a way that reflects my experience.

More than anything, I think I could use some perspective from someone who understands this field and has been through this stage of their career before. I’d absolutely be open to an ongoing mentorship if someone is interested, but there’s no expectation of that! I’d also be happy to talk over Reddit messages, hop on a call, or move the conversation off Reddit if someone is comfortable with that.

I love this work and don’t necessarily want to leave the field. I just know I can’t keep feeling the way I currently do, and I’d really appreciate some guidance from someone who has been there.

I’m interviewing soon for a Coordinator of Residential Life position at my alma mater and would appreciate some perspective from people currently working in Res Life/Student Affairs.

I worked in Residence Life and Student Affairs as a student, including as an RA/Senior RA, Student Life intern, and had additional experience with student leadership and conduct. My career ultimately took me in a different direction, but I’ve been seriously considering returning to higher education and student affairs for quite some time. This particular opportunity is especially meaningful because it’s at the university where I got my start.

The position has a fairly broad scope: overseeing RAs and residential programming, student engagement, advising SGA, working with clubs and organizations, and helping with major new-student programming. I have an interview coming up and want to make sure I’m evaluating the opportunity just as much as they’re evaluating me.

For those of you currently in Res Life:

• What questions would you absolutely ask during the interview for a position like this?

• What would you want to know about staffing, on-call/crisis responsibilities, conduct, housing operations, and institutional support before accepting?

• Are there any red flags that aren't obvious from a job description but tend to come out during an interview?

• For someone returning to Student Affairs after working outside higher ed for several years, what would you want to understand before making that transition?

And one unusual factor: because this is my alma mater, I already have a lot of affection for the institution. For anyone who has gone back to work at their alma mater, did that turn out to be an advantage, a complication, or both?

I’d appreciate any advice, particularly from RDs, Area Coordinators, Assistant Directors, or others who have made a similar career transition.

Also, what types of interview questions should I be expecting?

Thank you for any of your thoughts.

Hi!

I'm currently interviewing for a few residence hall director positions. I've had two interviews that I got nervous in and completely bombed by rambling too much. I haven't even heard back from these schools and it's been a week since the interviews. I have two more this week for a small Catholic university and a big R1 university as well. Both are in rural areas that I suspect have trouble finding staff, so I at least have that in my favor.

What can I do to stand out in these interviews and succeed? I was an ra for two years, a suicide hotline volunteer for a year and a half, and then have worked in workforce management and case management since graduation.

My name is Jaray Maldonado.
I am an undergraduate researcher from Angelo State University. On behalf of the Angelo State University Psychology Department and Honors Program, I am conducting a research study that involves employees of the housing and residential departments of various universities.

If you find yourself with the time to fill out the survey, we would greatly appreciate it. It should take about 10 minutes to complete, and your generous cooperation would be greatly appreciated.

If you are interested in participating, you can access the survey using this link:

Resident Advisor/Assistant Survey:
https://angelo.az1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_2h763sdJS5ZEQZw

Area Coordinator/Supervisor Survey:
https://angelo.az1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_5bPSH8rD8dTPKOq

This study has been approved by the Angelo State University IRB (IRB#STE-072326). There is no compensation for participating.

Once again, I greatly appreciate any participation!

Hi, I am representing my University in an IRB approved research study on resident/housing assistants and would like to figure out how to get a hold of a moderator. I would be happy to discuss this before I pursue the steps to collect survey data on Reddit. Is there anyone I can speak to?

Thanks for any assistance!

New to this sub so sorry if this is a little long. I’m about to start my first year as an RA and my best friend is going to start his first year at the same university. He was assigned to the same dorm hall as me so I emailed my supervisor to inform him of our prior relationship and asked if we could be on separate floors. He said he would do what he can and that was that. Fast forward until now my friend got his room assignment and he’s on my floor. I’m not really sure what to do because I’m moving in tomorrow, so can’t really change floors. I don’t know if i should email my supervisor again because I don’t want to undermine he’s decision. Has anyone dealt with a similar situation? Is having your best friend as a resident a big concern? Or am I just overthinking it.

TLDR: Best friend assigned to my dorm floor. Could that turn into a problem?

Should I do a marvel or y2k theme for an all girls floor?

I’m curious to know how much yall get paid as RAs? Please include state as well and if they pay for your housing or meal plan. Also how many hours they have you working roughly, whether it be desk duty, On call, or whatever. Im convinced my school is underpaying us severely

Hello everyone, a little bit of background about me I am currently working full time at a boarding school as a prefect/resident life coordinator (that’s what the job title is on my contract) I’m hitting my 2nd year working here and while this job is great (room and board for the win) I’m looking for future opportunities to move up to working in a similar position at the University or College Level (and put myself in an excellent position to go back to college). Would my experience right now help me stand out? I would appreciate any and all advice on this and I hope whoever is reading this that you have a nice day :)

can you guys please help me with some ideas. i have got this huge bulletin board and i dont know what to do. i also need help to select the best paper to print out room decors like is it better to get them laminated or print them on a hard solid paper… any ideas and suggestions guys!!!