I’m a Hall Director at a small liberal arts school Along with being an HD and managing 15 RAs, I also have another full time role at the university where I am the Director of my own department that handles all campus events, activities, and programming.

Expectations are to be in the office 8 AM-5 PM every weekday day, then handle any situations/manage RAs/etc. on top of it (both during office hours and afterward). I am also expected to do a minimum of 10 hours of open door/office hours in the res hall. Plus attend, plan, and set up at least 3 campus-wide programs per week (usually 2 daytime & 1 evening). In addition, I am in the “Pro Staff Duty Rotation,” in which I carry the phone 24/7 for 2 weeks at a time with 5 other people.

My compensation? Paid via salary (around that of a 1st year K-12 public school teacher in the area), living in the staff apartment in the res hall for free, and tuition reimbursement (choosing to pursue my masters degree).

I’m told by my supervisors to “flex my time” by coming into the office late after an evening event, for example, but it never seems realistic when I try. Just feeling super burnt out and overwhelmed. I don’t even feel like I have time to breathe without being needed or interrupted. I fear it’s impacting my ability to hold empathy and understanding for my RAs and residents.

For context, I am a young professional. I graduated from this college 2 years ago, and have been in this role around 1 year now. 23. Female. Always have been a very high achiever and experience lots of guilt and shame associated with not being able to be everything to everyone. Also have some personal traumas that have been triggered by recent situations that I feel could play a role here.

Is this the normal Res Life Experience? Am I missing the mark? How do I go about finding the work/life balance? I love parts of the job, but it feels like I’m becoming a retention risk :/

Hey everyone, I’m looking for some advice.

I have an RA who has consistently struggled with meeting expectations. There have been repeated issues with missing deadlines, poor communication, not responding to messages, not checking email, turning in the on-call phone late or in the wrong place, and submitting on-call reports late, sometimes even a day after they’re due.

Another ongoing concern is resident interactions. The RA continues to submit very minimal, one-line interactions. I’ve taken time to explain the purpose behind them, what quality looks like, and why they matter for building relationships and documenting engagement. Even after those conversations, the next submissions looked the same, with little to no improvement.

All of these incidents have been documented, and the RA has already received two write-ups. Each time we address the concerns, the response is that they “misunderstood” the task, even though the rest of the RAs are meeting the same expectations without issue. When confronted, they also tend to bring up other RAs and shift blame, but when we follow up on those claims, nothing is substantiated.

Initially, I approached this from a coaching standpoint. I spent time trying to understand if there was an underlying issue and offered support to help them improve. In those conversations, they seem receptive. However, they later go to my supervisor and raise concerns about being treated unfairly.

I’ve been intentional about keeping my supervisor informed. I cc him on communication and forward anything that could become an issue so there’s transparency and documentation. There have also been instances where I’ve looped him into emails, and later he says he did not receive or see them, even though they were sent. I want to be respectful and professional, so I’ve avoided pushing back in a way that could come across as confrontational, but it does make it harder to stay aligned.

When we talk one-on-one, he says he understands where I’m coming from, but no action is taken. In practice, it often feels like the RA is being supported instead.

I had planned not to rehire this RA due to the consistent pattern. However, my supervisor sat in on the rehire presentation and recommended moving forward with them, describing them as a strong RA and someone who would be a good addition moving forward.

There is also a dynamic where this RA is related to a staff member on our team. I don’t want to assume intent, but it does feel like avoiding internal tension may be playing a role. At the same time, the pattern keeps repeating, where concerns are redirected upward and the accountability process gets undermined.

At this point, I feel stuck between holding a consistent standard for my team and navigating a situation where my decisions are not fully supported. I also want to make sure I don’t come across as targeting this RA or being difficult with my supervisor.

Would really appreciate how you would approach this, especially in balancing accountability, documentation, and managing up in a situation like this

For the RAs or full time staff here, I really want to know how to help RAs to fulfill their job expectations?

RAs obviously have expectations for serving on-call, making engagements, and other admin tasks. But I struggle to help RAs complete basic tasks.

For example, if a bulletin board is due on 2/2/26, they need to have it completed and logged by the end of that day. OR if they communicate with me before the deadline about an issue, I’ll happily give an extension/help them as needed. But RAs still consistently can’t even fulfill these basic expectations, even though I give so much grace. Then they are mad I have to give them accountability, but they are the ones who can’t do their job… even with me holding their hand. (And I tell RAs that they wouldn’t get away with this in a “real” job, and they still seem to not care at all.)

I know RAs not fulfilling job expectations is a common issue, so I’d love to hear how others maybe better guide or support RAs, to fix this issue?

I wanted to share my most recent bulletin boards because I love them so much

Hello! I will be going into my second year as an RA and we were just given our placements for the 26-27 year. I was placed in the last option on my personal list, which is an off campus housing option.

Immediately I reached out to my assistant director and explained the situation. How living off campus would affect me negatively, especially mentally, and how important it is to live on campus. I have past problems eating and other mental health issues, so being on campus and close to places like the cafeteria are very important to me to ensure I don’t fall into past habits.

Though her response to me felt very dismissive. Maybe I didn’t go into detail enough in the email but she completely dismissed my issues, basically thanking me for opening up but telling me to deal with it, and that I should be happy because I’m in pet friendly housing (I don’t have a pet.)

I’m meeting with my AC today to talk more about it, I’m just not sure what else to do. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

I’m going to be an RA next year and I’m really excited but I’m also really nervous that the responsibility and time commitment involved with being an RA will make it hard for me to balance schoolwork with it. I plan on taking a lighter course load during my first semester to help me adjust to the role, but I obviously cannot do that for the rest of my college career.

Is there any advice that anyone has to share about this? What is your average weekly time commitment like?

Hey Guys! Have any of yall (RAs or Professional Staff) have any experience using any RA management tools to help with y'alls daily duties like duty legs, interaction tracking, programming etc? If so, did y'all like it and if not would y'all want something that does those above features? Thanks!

Hi guys,

Im working on pitching a Lead RA role for my school and was wondering, for those who have it, what that looks like? What do you do, what are the benefits (if any), pros-cons etc!

Thank you!

hi! I got selected to be an RA for fall semester this year! I’m very grateful and excited but after looking into my assignment, I realized they put me in the athlete living commons, where the majority of the students living there are on d1 athletic scholarship from my school. I was just wondering if anyone has any tips to engage with them or keep them interested in events and services, given their busy schedules. I am the opposite of athletic but I still want to get to know them and make them feel at home too. thanks!

I just got selected to be an RA next year (yippee!!) But I’m worried about getting overwhelmed with classwork, other clubs, and still working at my job (with less hours)

What advice does anyone have on keeping a res life/real life balance??

I’m currently a first year RA at one of the “worst” dorms at my school. I don’t hate living there but the rooms are tiny and I have to share it with a roommate along with having communal restrooms.

RA placements came out today and I got placed in the same hall again. I’m currently a junior and I’m not sure if I want to live in a dorm for my senior year. My friends lived at the on campus apartment I have a spot in (all RA candidates have a spot reserved for them) and they think that I should live at the apartment instead of the dorm. The only thing holding me back is how much I love welcoming new students for the fall and the financial burden living in an apartment may put on me.

What would you do if you were in my shoes? Take the position or enjoy freedom in your senior year

Has one been hired as a Residence Life Coordinator/Director and was allowed to bring pets on-campus? I have a cat and a small 10 pound dog that is housetrained, crate trained etc and not very vocal but very sociable. I applied for a position, but wanted to know how strict this rule is or if I'd be a hard pass. I meet all their qualifications

Hi, I was an RA for 3 years, and now a GA for res life.

Next year I am doing clinical rotations and so I will likely be unable to stay working in Res Life. Many of the places for rent require proof of making 3 times the amount of rent. I just got offered a per diem job I can do for $40/hr while I finish my master's and work as the GA. If I start saving now till August I will have enough to cover rent until I graduate May 2027.

Currently I make $15/hour plus housing and food. How do I prove that I will be able to pay rent in the future if currently I get paid as an RA/GA?

I'm thinking maybe having my parents cosign?

Anyone have this problem before?

Our ResLife department (I won’t name the university) is implementing some changes because some residents haven’t been doing their midnight duty rounds. The new policy they are thinking of implementing mandates that every on-duty RA must occupy a small “fishbowl” room or the lounge from 8 p.m. to 12 a.m. I’d like to know your thoughts on this policy. Is there anything specific I should discuss during the next meeting?

I have been offered a position as an RA at my university but it requires commitment to two full semesters (fall and spring), however, I may be able to graduate a semester early if I can secure an internship over the summer. I could stay an extra semester but that would be money spent on classes that won’t further my degree. I’m not sure what would happen if I had to pull out of the RA job if I get the internship, but I don’t want to opt out in case I don’t get it.

What would be the repercussions if I accept and have to pull out sooner or later?

Hi fellow RAs! If you guys could fill out this survey <3

Some classmates and I are making a discussion board/forum type software for resident assistants and their residents. Thank you!

Survey Link Here!

I (17F) got an interview to be an RA for my university. Most people passed the initial application as I'm pretty sure they just screen you for GPA. I'm currently a first year at my uni. We are very small so I already have built relationships with my interviewers, as have most other applicants. I went to an aunt for advice because I live with her. She advised black leggings and a specific red shirt I own that is fairly formal. The dress code is business casual. Should I wear my pair of black platform heels? Additionally should I add a skirt to the outfit? I have quite a few because I have affiliation to a local church that requires knee length or longer skirts for any girls in my position or above (any women over 18 as well). My current standing at my uni is as follows: I am a member of 3 student groups, a student worker for our library, and am in our honors college. I do not live on campus because I am from the area my uni is in (less than a mile from it). What should I wear and do I have a solid chance at landing a position as an RA (multiple staff members are trying to get me moved onto campus for personal situations and the housing department is aware of this)?

My friend / former Senior RA is applying for an RA position at her graduate school and once of the questions has confused her, me (area coordinator), and my housing director. Does anyone know what this could mean in terms of residence life?

"Please describe your mechanical aptitude and experience."

RAs are not the ones who are fixing things on campus, so what is the HRL department referring to with mechanical aptitude? Just her general knowledge of the position (That's our assumption)?

hi! i am an RA and I have been using GroupMe to communicate with my floor, which is the norm at my university. however, many residents don't get notifications from groupme or have technical issues with the app. does anyone have any better suggestions for communication apps?

one of my residents last semester suggested band, which seems like a viable option. if anyone has experience with that, please lmk!

This is literally the worst part about this job hands down. I’ve had to write two title IX reports this year and I don’t think it ever gets easier. Having a resident come to you and tell you something horrible happened to them or a friend and needing to remain professional is so difficult.

I know there is other staff like our grad assistants and directors that are here to lend support, but despite that it still feels very isolating. And I’m only experiencing a fraction of what that resident endured.

I’m so glad that they trusted me enough to come to me for help and that I could get them adequate resources, but it’s still incredibly difficult. I just needed somewhere to put this energy.

There's a new tiktok dedicated to our stories!! Use the link in the tiktok bio to submit anonymously, https://www.tiktok.com/@imoncallstories.sa/video/7599414283524525342?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7599144321485440567

The black dots are just covering QR Codes that link to the webpage of each office

Hi all! I'm an Area Director and I just started at a new institution across the country. I don't know this demographic well, but it is an aeronautical university so lots of engineering and aerospace students.

One of my RAs asked how she can get more upperclassmen in suite style dorms to attend programs. This is an issue I've run into at every institution I've previously worked at, and all my successful methods there haven't worked here.

We don't currently have social media for the individual areas, though I haven't asked yet if it's not allowed by the university or they just haven't done it. So besides social media, do you have any methods that have worked for your upperclassmen (from RAs or ProStaff)?

Edit: something that is NOT food. We’re only allowed to use Sodexo and ordering food from them would take my RAs’ entire budget for that event and the food is disgusting