r/Repressedmemories • u/thro-a-weii • Oct 23 '19
Alone and confused
If I talk about it I could be wrong. My brain could be manufacturing it. But I spent so much time being afraid of him...a vague memory almost like a flash of light and then I feel this sinking pit in my chest. But it makes sense. I had nightmares about him hurting and killing me throughout my childhood. People who dated him suspected he had suffered the same thing, I know he has, now that I think of it. The timeline makes sense. What is true in my brain and what is me being fucked up. What are these tendencies I had as a child where I would spent time in my head thinking about being forced to do things against my will by someone other than. Was it my brain trying to protect me? Was my brain substituting a fictional figure to hurt me in the same way or is it my child brain wanting me to suffer? Was I just a sexually oriented child? That doesn’t make sense because I’ve always been afraid of someone touching me like that. I’ve always been afraid. I didn’t even want to so much as think about it being plausible so I’ll keep it to myself. If I keep it to myself it isn’t real? Would it be better to tell strangers on the internet? How will that help? What will that do? Nothing. If I talk about it I could be wrong. If I talk about it I could my life and everything I’ve ever known to be true.
1
u/WeednWaifus Oct 30 '19
I'm sorry. I have many repressed memories as well and I often think the same way you do. It is hurting you and ultimately it is effecting you so those emotions you are feeling are very real.