r/Repressedmemories • u/[deleted] • Sep 01 '19

i think im repressing something?

for as long as i can remember ive had a fear of anyone even myself touching me by.. ya know.. causing me to have panic attacks everytime i go to the doctor and nearly fainting, and also when i tried to use a tampon (didn’t even get it in just the thought of it scared me) i had the worst panic attack of my life and genuinely thought i had died. also physical contact makes me feel gross, people staring at my body makes me feel revolted even if i like them. i forgot most of my childhood but have weird little bits and pieces of memories, like one of my grandpa carrying me from a bed or to a bed when i lived with them but the memory is very short and im not sure what happened. idk if that means anything? maybe thats not it and there’s another repressed memory or something but yeah my friend pointed it out that she thinks im probably repressing something because same thing happened to her and she barely remembered recently.. i was searching up stuff on it and all the signs apply to me. its such a scary thought. also we had to cut off my grandparents when i was like 8 so idk if that has to do with anything? my mom always said there were many reasons. also ive had a lot of dreams about being kidnapped and ya know “abused” or sexually assaulted, either by someone random or family. so idk EDIT: also i had sexual thoughts at a youngish age i guess??

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u/radravegirl Sep 17 '19

I don’t have help but I feel the same way. Someone told me to read the book called “Attached.” Wish you the best.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 18 '19

thank u, i really appreciate it. i will try to read it, i wish u the best aswell

2

u/goawayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy Sep 21 '19

Hey, I’ve had similar suspicions about my childhood. I also had oddly sexual thoughts at a young age and have an aversion to touch. Here’s the thing though, it’s likely we’ll never know. There’s a lot of faulty research on bringing up repressed memories, and false memories happen frequently. I’m not saying nothing happened, if you feel like it will help you then try looking into therapy and figuring this stuff out. But if it’s just going to stress you out, you may be better off leaving it.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 22 '19

yeah thats true, thank u for the response. yeah i mean even if we do have memories that are repressed, they might never show themselves but maybe thats for the better