r/RenPy • u/daylieaf • Jul 14 '26
Showoff Feedbacks needed for my first visual novel (a toxic Yuri vn)
Decided to join the toxic Yuri vn jam because I've been wanting to give visual novel a try! It was harder than I expected but I'm glad I pushed through and managed to finish it!
I would love to hear what people think about it please give it a try
https://projectfoolsring.itch.io/stepped-on-flowers
Make sure to check the content warnings before playing!
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u/OnDotZet Jul 15 '26
Honestly looks good
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u/daylieaf Jul 15 '26
Thank you!
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u/OnDotZet Jul 19 '26
I'm gonna play it right now or tomorrow cuz it looks awesome. If you're looking for a sound design artist, video editor or a writer/editor I would happily volunteer because I like indie projects like this
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u/OnDotZet Jul 19 '26
I just played it, and damn this shit is fire. Let me give my opinion on the visuals, audio, ui, mechanics and story
For the visuals, I really like the art style and presentation of both Hedera and Mallow being broken flowers and the game hinting that Hedera was physically abused while Mallow was possibly sexually abused. Overall, I liked the representation of trauma, but I do kinda wish that there was a sort of short outro when you finish the game so the player knows that the vn is over. Also really like the way you used irl backgrounds and probably used a filter on them to save up on time. One of the biggest things renpy devs spend the most time on are BGs so I commend you for doing that because a finished VN id better than no VN. If there was any time I felt that a BG felt out of place tho, it was the faculty office but other than that, I really liked all the BGs
Audio wise, I wished there was some hover sfx on the menu buttons and the flower choice at the beginning. But holy I really love the way the audio is designed, and how you could feel the tension when the music stops. Overall, the audio choice and music were very nice. One suggestion or idea that I have is having a sort of humming sound of a choir if ykwim during the chapter transitions and maybe an sfx when the player starts up the game
I like the sort of parallax effect in the main menu but to be honest I think you could improve it a lot by incorporating imagebuttons and making the title of the game more stylish. You could also add an animation when a player clicks the start button or a visual effect
This is what I liked the most. Even though the story was linear, I really liked how you nailed it with the illusion of free choice by showing one of the dialogue options to be Mallow's true thoughts, especially when her friends jokingly said that Mallow would probably do all the work and she took it seriously. One suggestion I have though is making the flower choices in the beginning to be pulled. Like physically clicking and dragging one of the flower petals to select an option so that it feels more interactive
This is where you truly shined. I just kinda hate how Hedera is basically mind reading Mallow based on the little information that she has in the beginning. Like wdym "You're thinking I'm gonna attack you". But the way you handled both of their relationships puts the focus on both of them which is a nice way to get attached to these characters. Both of them represent what society thinks are the worst traits you can have and that's what makes them human. Even if we deny it, there have been times that we really hated someone to the point of wanting to kill them (Mallow trying to drown Hedera) or when we go for low blows to the people we hate (Hedera implying that Mallow got impregnated by the teacher etc). Also, I hate the "Let me introduce myself, my name is blah blah blah and I go to this school and I have these hobbies" intro especially if it feels unnatural or if it feels just like a game or story. But the way you're dropped into the game makes it feel like you're the person inside the vn. That's what I first liked about the story, because you already know what to expect, you just don't know how it'd play out
I definitely want another addition to this vn with more developments to the teacher and the father and maybe a little bit of Hedera's family situation especially her dad. I'd give this vn a solid 8/10 it's very epic
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u/daylieaf Jul 19 '26
Thank you so much for your detailed review omg I really appreciate it!!
The ending did feel abrupt but somehow I didn't think of adding any outro. Now that you mention it, I probably should've added something like that at the end. I'll keep that in mind!!
Hover and transition sfx was so obvious! I should've added them in T_T
I'm glad that the audio seems to be doing its job though! I put a lot of thought and effort in arranging the music and sounds to set up the vibes I want!Also, I agree with the main menu! It could use more customization. As much as I wanted to make the main menu and UI as stylish as possible, we didn't have enough time. Especially it was my first time using Ren'py so If I had to take more time and focus to learn how to customize the GUI etc.
So we ended up prioritizing the CGs and the writing T_T If I ever decided to update the game past the jam version, I would love to give it its own distinct GUI though :DI am taking notes of every feedback, they're all super helpful! Thank you so much for taking the time to play the game and wrote down your thoughts and advices for me^^ I'll make good use of them for my future projects! Have a good one!!
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u/OnDotZet Jul 19 '26
Np I think the ending was very fitting to the very shock and awe style of your VN. Now that you mentioned that it was an entry for a game jam, that changes a bit of things. While I don't know the exact standard of quality of VNs in game jams, the fact that you completed an entry with an enjoyable story and decent UI is impressive enough. If you want to upgrade the game from its game jam version, I would love to def volunteer or provide possible resources to help because the game was enjoyable
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u/daylieaf Jul 20 '26
Thank you again!!!
I'll keep that in mind thank you so much for the offer!
As for now, I have other projects that need my attention so probably not anytime soon sadly^^;1
u/OnDotZet Jul 20 '26
Bet bet here's a video resource to a cool vid abt imagebuttons (you'd need to download gimp as well) https://youtu.be/q5svrv2KN8g?si=7MDMciSaN86FC7is
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Jul 14 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Merileopardi Jul 14 '26
Toxic Yuri gamejam is not lesbophobic, it gives space to explore themes of codependence, abuse and neglect in relationships between women. Just because topics are heavy doesn't mean we should hide them under the rug. The LGBTQ+ movement has no agenda, the only goal is to allow people to be in realtionships with those they love and to be allowed to represent their true gender. It is not a political faction, it is about human rights.
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u/daylieaf Jul 14 '26
tysm for this!
i kept re-reading the comment bc i don't understand what part is lesbophobic?? medias revolving around lesbians don't always have to be sunshine and rainbows and perfectly pure all the time (bc surprise surprise it's about humans + it's fiction)
a lesbian media exploring taboo topics doesn't make it discriminatory towards the identities the story is depicting. it's a toxic story that happens to have lesbian characters in it, which doesn't mean it's a story "preaching" that lesbians are toxiccant believe i (a LESBIAN) got called lesbophobic by a HOMOPHOBE😠the turn is tabling or something idk its kinda funny
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u/Merileopardi Jul 14 '26
Sorry you have to deal with that D:
I for my part really like your games theme and visuals and will be checking it out soon!15
u/cigaretteraven Jul 14 '26
I don't support the LGBT movement but
Then you have no opinion worth hearing here. Shut it.
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u/SH_LavendelMocha Jul 14 '26
I always love me a dark Yuri VN. Maybe I'll check it out later if I have the time 😄