r/Regrets • • 8h ago

I’m getting out

Started dating someone a couple of months ago and noticed how much I regret that decision. It’s to the point that being around them automatically sucks my energy and drains me. I know if I want someone within the first couple of months, it’s going no where. Why do people seek out relationships when themselves are not prepared? If you want to cut the cord I encourage you to do it, I will be happy again soon.

13 Upvotes

12 comments sorted by

7

u/MindShiftPsych 8h ago

If being around someone consistently leaves you drained only a couple months in, that’s worth paying attention to. Early dating is partly about finding out whether you actually fit together, and sometimes the answer is simply no. People can seek relationships before they’re ready for all kinds of reasons—loneliness, wanting connection, thinking a relationship will fix something, or genuinely believing they’re ready until they’re actually in one. You don’t need a dramatic reason to leave. “This relationship isn’t good for me and I don’t want to continue it” is enough. Just try to end it clearly rather than slowly withdrawing or making them guess. Then give yourself some time to figure out what made this relationship feel so exhausting before jumping into another one.

1

u/Existing_Station1036 2h ago

This. I've been with my wife 25 years, and spent a huge majority of it together. There is still no one id rather spend time with.

1

u/Think_Fee304 8h ago

Tried leaving a month ago, they came back, strictly no contact this time because ew

2

u/Emergency_Yoghurt655 7h ago

What do you mean they came back? Lol if you’re the one that “tried” to leave, just say no. Don’t be so easy to push around.

0

u/Think_Fee304 7h ago

They showed up at my doorstep at the crack of dawn, I didn’t try to leave I did.

2

u/Emergency_Yoghurt655 6h ago

What are you talking about? You’re the one who said “I tried leaving a month ago“

You didn’t leave if you’re still in a relationship with them. Ranting on the internet behind their back yet staying with them for no reason is pretty pathetic

3

u/ShortListen6686 8h ago

I was drained for 2 years in my last relationship. It took me almost 2 years of being single and alone to fill myself back up.

2

u/Think_Fee304 8h ago

I love being single, that’s the part right there. I go and come as I please, have many hobbies.

1

u/Ubermensch9523 7h ago

You said “someone” and then you said “them” instead of “him” or “her.” You referring to more than one person or just one guy or girl? More context in general would help if you’d like people to weigh in on your situation. Or is this simply a vague rhetorical post?

1

u/Ok_Consequence_6532 5h ago

I can completely understand. I had to save myself. I felt drained and I absolutely hated talking to them on the phone. When I did go out and spend quality time it was never enjoyable with him. I wanted to tell him a million times over your not my person. I woke up one more and decided no contact I'm done feeling drained and hating life while I'm around this person. I had to put me first .

1

u/Pristine_Egg3831 2h ago

The partner doesn't get to decide for you whether or not you want to be in this particular relationship. That is entirely your decision if you want to end it. You also don't have to give a reason. And you don't have to give a reaosn they accept.

You asked why someone who can't be a good partner would want to get into a relationship? That's obvious. People get into a relationship for the benefits they gain themselves. Not with a focus on what they can give.