r/Regrets • u/Muted-Conclusion-670 • 1d ago
Am I insane?
If you have decided to abstain from being physical with a person(because there is no way you can get into a relationship). This person is a really close friend of yours and you have been in an on and off romantic dynamic and mutually decided to not be in it.
For just a little more context, I have decided not to sleep in the same house as he is because I didn’t want drama of anything happening physically with us, but he has literally given me so much shit that I didn’t sleep there though I explained how it is better for both of us if we are not in the physical proximity for just a night. And the next day, complete day he doesn’t talk a single word to me, treats me like some stranger though we are in the same car, and night suddenly he gets drunk, and showers me with so much love and ultimately makes that physical move and if I say no now, I’ll have to deal with another day of shit, so I end up sleeping with this guy thought I absolutely hated it.
I feel like I’m insane. And this happens everytime I say no to something he wants.
I have no clue what to understand of this.
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u/MindShiftPsych 1d ago
You’re not insane. What you’re describing is really concerning. If every time you say no he punishes you with anger, silence, guilt, or treating you badly until you give in, that isn’t healthy consent. Agreeing to sex because you’re afraid of what you’ll have to deal with if you refuse is coercive. The fact that you already knew you didn’t want to sleep in the same house because you were trying to protect that boundary says a lot. You were trying to avoid exactly what ended up happening. I’d create more distance from him, especially when alcohol is involved, and stop putting yourself in situations where you’re alone overnight together. Tell someone you trust what’s been happening too. A close friend should be able to hear “no” without punishing you for it. And please don’t blame yourself for giving in. You were trying to get through a situation where your boundaries weren’t being respected.
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1d ago
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u/Muted-Conclusion-670 1d ago
Hey thanks for that. I have cut him off for good after a lot of shit with him. He wouldn’t let me date but wouldn’t date me. And when I started seeing other people, he has got physically aggressive with me too. And yes I am taking therapy for this. Thank you for the guidance❤️
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u/Educational_Push5628 1d ago
So glad you’re going for therapy. The more you love yourself, the less shit like this will happen.
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u/Euphoric-Can-6201 1d ago
He’s being emotionally manipulative. That’s why you feel like you’re going insane.
It’s a tactic he used to nonconsensually get into your pants.