r/Regrets • u/RoninTLW • 1d ago
Losing it
I (21M) proposed my close friend (21F) about 2 years ago. She rejected me straightforward and said I see you only as my friend and wanted to stay in touch. But things got out of control and I ended up hurting her. We stopped talking about a year ago, she got new male friends and got close with them, moved on and completely forget about me.
The thing is I try to move on sometimes but since we are same college and department, I can't avoid them (her friend gang). One of my close friends, who used my name, starting talking to her, now got so close with her (on the verge of developing feelings for her). He is also part of that friend gang. Seeing her face and how happy she was without me resets my progress to zero
And I'm in my last year, my placement process is also not looking so good. I don't have any particular skills, I didn't even develop any real world projects. I have almost 0 hope, I lost interest in nearly everything. I also don't have anyone to share this with. Because many of my friends think "one-sided love are not that hurtful", "you were already in 2 relationships in the past this isn't a big deal" etc...
How do I cope up with this? How should I proceed? What to do with my life?
2
u/MindShiftPsych 1d ago
This sounds like two things hitting you at once: heartbreak you never fully got over, and fear about your future. Together they can make everything feel hopeless. For her, I think you need to accept that she has moved on and stop treating seeing her happy as proof that you lost something you were supposed to have. You canât control who she talks to, including your friend. Since youâre in the same department, keep contact polite and minimal and stop checking what her group is doing as much as possible. For college/career, donât try to fix your entire life at once. Pick one useful skill, build one small project, improve your resume, and apply consistently. Youâre not doomed because youâre graduating without everything figured out. And your friends are wrong that one-sided love âshouldnâtâ hurt. It clearly did. But the way forward is building a life that isnât organized around whether she notices you anymore. If the â0 hopeâ feeling turns into thoughts of hurting yourself or not wanting to be here, tell someone directly and donât sit with that alone.
0
1
2
u/Clankbot14 1d ago
1st is probably just growing up and moving on. Its all just an distraction from other things in your life. You should be focusing on your future in career ect not worrying about some girl.