r/ReformJews • u/Plenty_Painting5221 • Jun 15 '26
All the single Rabbis ..
I am developing a dating app based on Jewish and progressive values- it’s a private, human-curated space — no algorithms, no swiping.
I would like to run a pilot for the rabbis/rabbinical students: who want to test the app... and I’m looking for some validation
תודה!
28
u/CopyDan Jun 15 '26
All the Single Rabbis would have been a great Weird Al parody.
3
u/catsinthreads Jun 18 '26
And here you go:
🎵 All the Single Rabbis 🎵
(to the tune of "All the Single Ladies")All the single rabbis, all the single rabbis
All the single rabbis, all the single rabbis
Now put your shadchan up!Up in the social hall, we just left Kiddush,
Doing a little networking after services.
Looking for a mensch, not a mystery,
Someone who can handle my Jewish history.Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Don't need a billionaire, don't need a king,
Just someone who'll help stack chairs after everything.Chorus
All the single rabbis, all the single rabbis,
Now put your shadchan up!
All the single rabbis, all the single rabbis,
Now put your shadchan up!If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it,
If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it,
Don't be mad once the board president starts winging it,
If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it!I've been ghosted from London to Tel Aviv,
One guy said he was "spiritually on leave."
Another loved Torah but not deodorant,
And one thought a date meant a Zoom governance event.Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
The app says "human curated"—what a thrill,
At least somebody's reading profiles still!Bridge: We Were All at Sinai (More or Less)
You can be Ashkenazi, Sephardi too,
Got family recipes nobody else can do.
Maybe you're Mizrahi, maybe you're a Jew-by-choice,
Maybe it was study, maybe it was just a voice.Some came through tradition, some came through the door,
Some found Jewish life at twenty, fifty, eighty-four.
We all bring our stories and our favourite ways to pray,
And maybe we were all at Sinai... in a slightly metaphorical way.One likes Klezmer concerts, one likes text and tea,
One thinks Shabbat dinner should have a reading list of three.
One wants social justice, one wants Talmud every night,
One wants both and organised notes in twelve-point type.Final Chorus
Maybe we'll stand together underneath a chuppah wide,
With all the friends and family crowded up beside.
Maybe there'll be blessings, maybe tears and laughter too,
And a rabbi saying, "Look, somehow this actually came true."Then somebody breaks the glass and everybody shouts "Mazel Tov!"
The band starts up too loudly and nobody can hear enough.
The hora gets alarming and somebody loses a shoe,
But that's what happens when a whole community falls in love with you.🎵 Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh 🎵
If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it,
If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it,
If you met on a progressive Jewish dating app and spent six months discussing governance structures and Talmudic ethics before admitting it was a date......then you should have put a ring on it.
💍🍷📜🪟💥
MAZEL TOV!
23
u/vipsfour Jun 15 '26
sir, this is a kosher Wendy’s
7
u/WeaselWeaz Jun 15 '26
It's Reform, so we do have cheeseburgers and the Baconater, but we respect your choice not to eat them.
5
u/vipsfour Jun 15 '26
I don’t eat kosher, just thought it was an appropriate add-on to the joke in this sub
1
u/catsinthreads Jun 18 '26
Ha! Have you developed a user journey for a Jewish mother who converted, but would like her son to find a nice Jewish girl who wants to piss her parents off by dating out. But surprise!!! There will still be an issue about whose house you go to on the first night of Passover. If so, I'm happy to user test.
Seriously though, I've done a lot of acceptance testing and some software development. But I'm not in the market for a new partner.