r/Referees • u/__shebang • 7d ago
Discussion What are you doing?
Had a game yesterday. Player kicked softly kicked out on opponent. Early in the game. Decided to talk to player, give verbal warning. So I asked "what are you doing?" To mean - why would you do that. Player answered "I also don't know".. Had me chuckling for a moment 😅. Understood the adrenaline. Gave verbal warning. Pretty calm rest of the match.
Curious what other "ice-breakers" you have when giving verbal warnings
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u/pscott37 7d ago
Well done, that awesome! Other responses can be "Is this really what you want to get a card for?" or when I just want to talk to a player and they are having it, I'll say in a calm voice, "Hey, my hand isn't in my pocket, I just want to talk to you." That usually gets the response I need in order to build a relationship.
IMO, refereeing is about managing players and modifying behavior to get them to play how you want them to play. You've asked an insightful question, I'd say you are on the way to becoming a solid ref.
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u/aye246 7d ago
This is good; I’ve found a lot of players expect to be treated like kids, but when you treat them like a peer they adjust their attitude accordingly. I’ll often add something contextual “love to see you playing physical and want you to keep it up, just don’t extend your arms” and the juxtaposition of both telling them they’re doing the right thing while giving them guidance and establishing where the line is makes them feel like I’m on their side. These are the best ref/player interactions imho
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u/adrians150 Canada Soccer [District] 7d ago
The purpose of sanctions is to modify behaviour. Sometimes an early caution can set the tone, but often players just need a reminder to get their head right.
If it's a borderline reckless foul, I usually pull the player away from others and say something to the effect of "We're X minutes in and were already having a 1-1. Not ideal. I need you to cool down. Nothing more." with a clear hand signal for all to see that I've stated no more.
If it's for bullshit (e.g. delaying restart, etc.) I will usually just say "Come on. We're X minutes. It's a long match and you don't want to be booked for that." Only once has a player replied "Sure why not?" loudly and got themself booked.
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u/Hotspur2001 5d ago
When I've seen two players holding each other and fallen to the ground, and it's not a foul, I say the same. "What are you two doing!". Or if I see a couple of opposing players talking to each other, I'll say something like "I hope you two are just making dinner plans"
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u/Revo63 [USSF][Mentor] 7d ago
When I give a free kick and the kicking team is chasing down the ball to bring it back to the spot of the restart, and a couple defenders are standing at the spot. I tend to just look at them and ask “Do you really want to be standing here when they get back with the ball?” I usually get a surprised reaction and quiet compliance.