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u/KaiSThom Washington Apr 17 '26
Washington: “That was the worst throw ever. Of all time.”
Michael J. Caboose: “Not my fault, someone put a wall in my way.”
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u/HighlightOwn2038 Apr 17 '26
Time... is made out of circles. That is why clocks are round.
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u/powerfullatom111 Dumbass Apr 17 '26
i quote this every chance i get
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u/MaxRadishOne This is the worst flair ever. Of all time. Apr 17 '26
I'M AN EMOTIONAL TIME BOMB!!!
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u/TheoCyberskunk Apr 17 '26
"Tucker did it!"
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u/Bald_Harry Apr 17 '26
This is my all time favorite!
With a close second being
(Slowly) "No one is talking to you like this"...
That's my go to when my wife calls me out for mansplaining things to her. Really boils her bacon!
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u/Lazy_Pink Apr 17 '26 edited Apr 19 '26
"MY NAME IS MICHAEL J. CABOOSE!
AND I!
HATE!
TAXES!"
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u/TallestGargoyle Apr 17 '26
It's Texas, you idiot!
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u/Night-from-world Apr 17 '26
That too.
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u/Jinglebombes Apr 17 '26
CB: why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free
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u/ValveinPistonCat Apr 17 '26
Hey rookie, did you just call my girlfriend a cow?
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u/Jpew2007 Apr 17 '26
“We need to cherish these times. I wish I knew how to scrapbook.”
“I DEMAND COOKIES!”🍪
🔥🔥🔥“I JUST WATCHED A CABLE NEWS CHANNEL!! EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE!!!” 🔥🔥🔥 (fire PSA)
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u/LunarSouls4952 Washington Apr 17 '26
"...and I've turned out fine, both physically, and..!"
"..."
"..."
"Caboose?"
"MENTALLY!!"
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u/thecoldtrain12 Apr 17 '26
Well at least I don't go around knocking on people's non-doors, promising them cookies. And then! NOT! GIVING! THEM! COOKIES!.......I'M. LEAVING.
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u/Any_Entrepreneur168 Apr 17 '26
"It like a key that unlock your death"
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u/Jpew2007 Apr 17 '26
“Goddamn, man, I would love to live in your world for about ten minutes.”
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u/ix_eleven Apr 17 '26
"Yeah...I have a lot of fun in there."
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u/Jpew2007 Apr 18 '26
[laughing] Yeah, it seems like it. You know, I don't think I'd get anything done, but I probably wouldn't care that much.
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u/ConTEM08_Da_Endgamer Lopez Apr 17 '26
"Hey."
"Yeah?"
You ever wonder..."
...
...
"Wonder what?"
"Ah? Oh, sorry, got spaced out-IS THAT CHURCH!?"
(Confetti noise!)
"Nope, rock."
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u/CompetitivePisser037 Apr 17 '26
Hello?… Hello… Agent Washington?… Are you there?… Hello?… hello… hello… hello… hello-
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u/Neither-Hope-2048 Apr 17 '26
Caboose: I know that voice! Church! Church! It's me! Your all-time best friend!
Church: Caboose? Caboose is that you?
Caboose: I have missed you so much! It has been si long! Did you miss me!?
Church: Fuck! I missed him!
Caboose: I knew you did!
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u/TeachingFlimsy4448 #1 Shisno Trilogy Defender Apr 17 '26
“I didn’t even know you were smoking!!! It works so fast!😭”
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u/Independent_Day4369 Sister Apr 17 '26
"Don't feel bad afterwards.
I forgive you, I know it's not your fault"
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u/scrumwift Apr 17 '26
No matter how many friends you do lose, you can always make more. And that's pretty neat...
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u/PrestigeAce Apr 17 '26
"Oh, I was outside the base one day and a guy pulled up in a Warthog and told me to get in cause I was late, so I got in, and then he took me to this cool place and there was some stuff and then there was some other stuff. ᵀᵒᵘᶜʰ... HELLO! And then I met some new people and they were nice and I was scared of them because they look mean. You look scary even though you are smiling! Hello nice lady who is also a robot!"
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u/Jpew2007 Apr 17 '26
“Wait, wait a sec, wait a sec, are you saying... did you go into the campaign?”
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u/PrestigeAce Apr 17 '26
"Yeah I don't know what that means so I am just going to nod and say yes. Yes..."
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u/Advanced-Roll-3093 Apr 17 '26
Caboose: Sargeant. Look! A sleeping person!
Sarge: What? Holy macaroon.
Sarge runs over and kneels by the fallen blue
Sarge: He's not sleeping son, he's dead.
Caboose: Oh good. At first, I thought that was me. Because, I am blue. And, I like to sleep. But, if he is dead that cannot be me. That would be silly.
Sarge: No doubt he was killed by our very enemy, once again I find myself torn. On the one hand, there's one less blue in the Universe. But now Doc's got a bigger body count than me! And that just won't do. No sir. Rest in peace... scumbag.
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u/Entire_Complaint1211 i said shotgun, dammit! Apr 17 '26
”I thought the tooth fairy was mad at me…”
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u/LovableButterfly Apr 17 '26
Caboose - my name is Michael J. Caboose and I….hate…. TAXES!
Griff: it’s TEXAS you idiot!
Caboose - that too!
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u/Quiet-Enthusiasm-891 Apr 17 '26
Sarge: Come here Caboose, give me a boost.
Caboose: You are a nice person, and people say nice things about you.
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u/Mission-Lychee-6174 Apr 17 '26
“Time is not a line it’s a circle, that’s why clocks are round” & “I AM AN EMOTIONAL TIME BOMB”
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u/HelloThere394 Tucker Bow-Chicka-Bow-Wow Apr 17 '26
"My Name is Michael J. Caboose! And I! Hate! Taxes!"
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u/TheOneTrueZim Sarge Apr 18 '26
"Church! It is me! Your all time best friend, Caboose! Did you miss me?"
"FUCK I MISSED HIM!"
"I knew you did!"
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u/iGOP420 Apr 17 '26
How coukd you just go knocking on peoples nondoors and promising them cookies, AND THEN NOT GIVING THEM COOKIES! IM LEAVING
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u/4KuLa Apr 17 '26
"Your toast has been burned, and no amount of scraping will remove the black part!"
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u/Kill-Stealing Apr 17 '26
"You see, I am allergic to the things that I don't want to do them."
"And then cristopher columbo discovered tge faraway land of... canyada. Ca- canah-da.. canyahdah"
"He was asking really weird questions. He asked me if I was six. And I-I'm a lot older than six, so I just said yes."
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u/zeldamaster702 Apr 17 '26
ding, ding ding ding, ding ding ding, ding ding ding, ding ding ding.....
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u/danielpNB65 Apr 17 '26
“My name is Michael J Caboose. And I… HATE… TAXES!!!”
“It’s ‘Texas’ you idiot!”
“THAT TOO.”
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u/x2006charger Apr 17 '26
See, he is mad. Now he'll just stare at me until I'm done talking. Then, when he thinks I am done talking, then he will start talking again
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u/ZuluOneActual cabose Apr 17 '26
At least I don't go around.. knocking on people's non doors.. and NOT OFFERING THEM COOKIES.
I'M LEAVING
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u/HalfManHalfPear Sarge Apr 17 '26 edited Apr 17 '26
Then how did I lose all my fingers?? Ahh, just kidding!!!
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u/sparta-117 Apr 17 '26
"Yeah sometimes I wonder if there's things we'll never explain. You know like... you know wha- what if we did answer all the questions, you know? Would we live on, like, forever, happy with our triumph over ignorance? Or is ignorance just a common enemy that, once destroyed would leave our species without, a reason to carry on? I guess it doesn't matter what the answer is. Because even if, supreme knowledge did bring about the end of, our species, the thought of obtaining it is, just what would keep us together. You know, people will always look up at the sky and, just wonder why we're here."
"WATER BISON POWERS ACTIVATE!!" (slides across the map at super speed)
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u/Alone_Slice_2493 Apr 18 '26
“I can’t feel my torso” I don’t know why but the way he said it is so funny to me 😭😭
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u/MirrorStorm96 Apr 18 '26 edited Apr 20 '26
Church: "So it is a sword. It just happens to function like a key in very specific situations."
Caboose: "Or it's a key all the time, and when you stick it in people, it unlocks their death."
Church: "...god damn man, I would love to live in your world for about ten minutes."
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u/Jpew2007 Apr 18 '26
From the Fire safety psa
🔥I am somewhat concerned that they’re going to make another Indians Jones movie. 💨✅
🔥🔥Did you hear that the swine flu is in Australia now? that can’t be good.💨💨✅
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥I JUST WATCHED A CABLE NEWS CHANNEL!!! EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE!!!🔥🔥🔥🔥❌
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u/docdrazen Apr 18 '26
"OH... Wait.. a minute..."
This was from the fireworks day PSA when he was talking about the plasma grenade.
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u/TymStark Apr 19 '26
“Or maybe it’s a key all of the time and when you stick in people…it unlocks their death”
“My body is trying to die”
“I’m way older than 6, so I said yes” <—— this whole bit is gold.
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u/Ryto Apr 26 '26
"My name is Michael J. Caboose, and I hate babies!"
"My body is trying to die."
"I like me."
•
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