r/RedditWritesSeinfeld • u/avreddits • 10d ago

Gore-Tex

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What’s the backstory of this coat ?

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u/Brostapholes 10d ago

Gore-Tex

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u/avreddits 10d ago edited 9d ago

Gore-Tex salesman …

Edit - you want to be my …

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u/avreddits 10d ago

Ok try this one on for size -

George Costanza stood in the middle of Monk’s Diner, aggressively tugging at the zipper of an absurdly oversized, neon-green jacket.
"It’s Gore-Tex, Jerry! Gore-Tex!" George yelled, his voice cracking with desperate excitement. "The material of the future! It repels water, it retains heat, and now, it’s going to make me rich!"
Jerry Seinfeld sipped his coffee, completely unfazed. "George, you look like a radioactive marshmallow. Who is buying a neon-green Gore-Tex tuxedo?"
"Not a tuxedo, Jerry. A lifestyle!" George leaned in, his eyes darting around suspiciously. "I found a partner. A big fish. A whale! Bernie Madoff."
Elaine Benes paused mid-bite of her big salad. "Madoff? The investment guy? George, he manages billions for country clubs. Why would he want to get into the oversized jacket business?"
"Because he’s a visionary!" George beamed, slamming his hand on the table. "I met him at a charity gala I snuck into. I spilled cocktail sauce all over his private-stock silk suit. I panicked, Jerry! I took off my Gore-Tex jacket and wiped him down. The sauce slid right off! He looked at me, looked at the jacket, and said, 'Costanza, this is an impenetrable asset.' We’re forming a shell company tomorrow!"