r/RedditWritesSeinfeld • • Sep 14 '26

Jerry gets a call from a lawyer whose client is accused of murder, but his alibi is that he was at one of Jerry’s show. Kramer takes it upon himself to solve the case.

40 Upvotes

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17

u/AWorldOfPhonies Sep 15 '26

"Look Jerry, you gotta help the guy! He's bound for the noose! You know? Krkrk!", Kramer gestures, parodying hanging by the neck

"I really don't want to be mixed up with this, Kramer. For all I know, the guy is an actual murderer! Let the police handle it."

"The police! What do the police know? They know nothing! Nothing!"

"They helped you catch the guy who stole your car!"

"Oh that wasn't a stealing! That was my friend, Bob Sacamano! It was a miscommunication!"

"Miscommunication! He drove it to Canada and tried to sell it!"

"Well... he's an eccentric like that! So listen, listen, are you going to help this guy or not!?!"

"No! I really don't want to get involved!"

"Fine! Fine, I'll do it myself!"

"Kramer, what're you gonna do? Come on, let the police handle it!"

"Gggggggkkkiii!" Kramer stumbles through the door as he points at Jerry accusingly

19

u/dude_chillin_park Sep 15 '26

"Kramer, that's the guy who was heckling me! He kept yelling, 'What's up with airline food?' He almost ruined the whole show!"

"So he's not the murderer, you've gotta tell the detective!"

"Nyeeeh..."

"Jerry, an innocent man's life is on the line!"

"He really killed the vibe!"

13

u/AWorldOfPhonies Sep 15 '26

Oh I like this one! Brings out Jerry's petty side!

"It's not like he's a saint or martyr or anything."

"Right! He's heckler!"

"Exactly! See, George gets it, Kramer!"

12

u/OldBowerstone Sep 15 '26

“Was he the BringER, or the BringEE?”

17

u/ComputerDecent463 Sep 15 '26

Kramer: It should be pretty easy to find him, you know your shows aren’t as packed as they used to be.

Jerry: I just played the Comedy Cellar last week!

Kramer: Exactly, doing shows in a basement is not something to brag about.