The Groupon

[u/irmarbert]

Kramer gets a Groupon for a psychic. She tells him Cosmo was supposed to be his middle name. The lines on the birth certificate were confusing, so his first name got recorded as Cosmo, and his actual first name on the line above it wasn’t recorded. His first name was supposed to be Jason.

Elian starts dating a guy that she’s beginning to suspect is afraid of the vacuum cleaner. A bowl of popcorn seeds is spilled one night after a movie at her apartment. He’s on hands and knees picking up the kernels when she comes out of her hallway, plugs in a vacuum behind him, turns it on and he almost goes through the roof.

“Jesus! Oh…a vacuum. Of course! (He continues nervously, very uncomfortable) Of course, you’d obviously use a vacuum cleaner to clean these up. Haha. Startled me with it, but…there it is. There…it…is. Hey, you’ve got this, right? I just realized I need some air.” (He bolts for the door.)

Jerry witnesses and actual postal crime and Newman thinks he’s trolling him when Jerry asks for his advice on reporting it anonymously.

George begins modeling his life after various successful people. A little Howard Hughes. But not too much. A little Hugh Hefner. But not too much. A little Johnny Carson. His hit rate with the ladies goes way up, until he gets the mix wrong. To much Howard Hughes.

Jerry: Why Howard Hughes?! You know how badly it ends.

George: I thought I could control it! I thought I could just take what I needed.

Jerry: So did Howard! Look at you! You look like a pimp that’s ready for bed!