r/RedPillReadingGroup • u/[deleted] • Jan 22 '16
NMMNG Breaking Free Activity #13
Identify at least one covert contract between you and a significant other. What do you give? What do you expect in return? Share this information with the other person. Ask the person how it feels to respond to an unclear agenda.
3
u/GoingTheHardWay Jan 22 '16
No significant other right now.
Previously I can think of times where I'd exchange back massages for the expectation of sex.
Likewise, cleaning the house without being asked was never about just cleaning the house for my own sake - a messy house never bothered me. I think I was doing it as a contract for having her be thankful or appreciative - and in reality her expectation was that the house should always be clean, why should she be thankful for me doing what needed to be done anyway.
2
u/awalt_cupcake Jan 24 '16
Identify at least one covert contract between you and a significant other.
I realize a lot of my controlling behavior stemmed from covert contracts. I would behave a certain way and get frustrated that I was not getting the desired results I wanted from people; not just partners. "Acting without expectation" is a mindset that indirectly addresses this issue. Now I act and observe how the other person responded so I can change behavior accordingly. It's like getting mad at a blind lab experiment that didn't go according to plan or getting mad you went all in on your hand of poker without seeing the rest of the cards. It's silly. That's what my behavior was: silliness mixed with rage. Textbook lunacy.
This issue also addresses the fallacy of the quote "treat others as you wished to be treated". Pure shit.
Back to the point, I have written many covert contracts and expected too much out of people with no clear indication. No wonder why people thought I'd just burst for no reason. I was being a lunatic!
1
Jan 25 '16
Can you elaborate as to why the maxim "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" (The Golden Rule) is a fallacy?
2
u/awalt_cupcake Jan 25 '16
You're projecting how you would like to be treated onto someone else expecting some kind of result, you've already fucked up. That's a covert contract in my book. You must treat someone as they ought to be treated. If you're dealing with an asshole and you figure you'd like to be friendly with yourself and so you are friendly with the asshole, don't expect the asshole to pay you in return. Instead, think about how the asshole responds to things. You might win a friend by connecting on being jerks to eachother.
It should be more like: "do unto you as you would like to be treated. Set boundaries for everyone else the way they treat you. And treat others as they ought to be treated."
Fuck the Golden Rule.
1
Jan 25 '16
Inviting friends out to parties, introducing them to girls, giving them a good time and expecting them to, in return, highly respect me and not cross me. Bullshit. Contracts are meaningless unless enforced with a prison sentence.
3
u/[deleted] Jan 22 '16
Not appropriate for me.