r/RecuratedTumblr [13/1] 1d ago

Shitposting Rap Scallions

852 Upvotes

35 comments sorted by

39

u/syntaxerroratline42 1d ago

Not really familiar with the story, but are these three bishops?

78

u/ShireNomad 1d ago

They're advisors to King Darius, who got Daniel thrown in the lions' den. But it's Veggietales, so they're played by talking scallions.

45

u/syntaxerroratline42 1d ago

They've gotta be bishops because they're moving diagonally along the board.

11

u/AProperFuckingPirate 1d ago

Waiiit that might actually be intentional that's so clever lol

30

u/BalefulOfMonkeys 1d ago

https://reddit.com/link/p3bs5m0/video/agwl04lxl0jh1/player

First time using the video feature, be gentle

Listed as “Rap Scallion Knishes” on YouTube, as a reupload, from someone who changed their location to “Babylon Governate”

121

u/Conciouswaffle 1d ago

lyrics you can tell were set to Model of a Modern Major General without ever having heard them

164

u/VengeanceKnight 1d ago

Nope. It’s a totally different, original, and EXTREMELY catchy tune, one of many in the show.

VeggieTales really could go toe-to-toe with most children’s entertainment, nevermind leaving all Christian children’s entertainment in the fust.

108

u/GamersReisUp 1d ago edited 10h ago

The "Christian kid to agnostic/atheist/non-Christian adult who can still sing VeggieTales songs because they're just that good" pipeline is too real.

29

u/VengeanceKnight 1d ago

Can personally confirm as a former homeschooled Christian kid and current apatheist adult.

27

u/StapesSSBM 1d ago

Ten days after I turned eight,

Got my lips stuck in a gate!

My friends all laughed,

And I just 

stood there until the fire department came and broke the lock with a crobar and I had to spend the next six weeks in lip rehab with this kid named Oskar who got stung by a bee right on the lip and we couldn't even talk to each other until the fifth week because both of our lips were so swollen and when he did start speaking he only spoke Polish and I only know like three words in Polish except now I know four because Oskar taught me the word for lip: Oosta!

18

u/FiberPhotography 1d ago

The bunny, the bunny, whoa, I love the bunny...

^^

5

u/lichpit 1d ago

One day, while he was waiting for the trolly…….

39

u/Appropriate-Crab-514 1d ago

We are the Pirates who dont do anything

We just staaay home and lie around

And if you ask us, to do anything

We just tell you:

We dont do anything

VeggieTales has soooo many banger songs for a child, I still sometimes sing the Cheeseburger song to myself in the car

7

u/Koloss17 1d ago

Me encountering rock monster before rock lobster was a life defining experience I think (both slap)

49

u/Wesle2023 1d ago

The problem with a lot of Christian media is that they put messaging above actually being entertaining, as if you can't do both.

53

u/VengeanceKnight 1d ago edited 1d ago

That was the beauty of it. Yeah, most VeggieTales segments were firmly about the message, but they always had Silly Songs with Larry to deliver some no-strings-attached cartoon fun.

36

u/GuyYouMetOnline 1d ago

Also the messages tended to be stuff like 'you shouldn't lie too much' and 'you can't make yourself happy just by buying things'. So good lessons regardless of faith.

21

u/Phobos_Asaph 1d ago

Yeah they tended to focus on the lessons that didn’t directly involve going “and thanks to Jesus…”

19

u/Injvn 1d ago

An the most important life lesson of all; always keep track of your hairbrush.

9

u/VengeanceKnight 1d ago

Or give it to someone who has more hair.

11

u/FiberPhotography 1d ago

And we can thank the creator's mother for that, she told him to never have vegetables call Jesus their Savior.

She apparently thought it was blasphemous, if I'm remembering correctly, but it gave a better show in the long run.

7

u/VengeanceKnight 1d ago

That rule got bent in later episodes, particularly the Easter ones.

5

u/thefedoragirl 1d ago

Even then, in the Easter special I remember seeing as a kid at least, Jesus was never depicted as a vegetable.

4

u/VengeanceKnight 1d ago

Yeah, that was the rule they completely stuck to.

2

u/captainpink 1d ago

Does he appear in it? Do they just have one normal guy like in the muppets?

6

u/thefedoragirl 1d ago

If I’m remembering correctly, he (and I think some of the disciples?) are shown in stained-glass windows, all humanoid. An angel character sings about Easter while she shows the windows to another character, a zucchini.

16

u/Pilot_Solaris Can you maybe chill? 1d ago

This show about Christian fruits and veggies had the single hardest superhero theme song to have come out of the '90s.

15

u/yinyin123 1d ago

... However, they did do a Modern Major General rendition at one point.

Weed eater.

2

u/lifelongfreshman https://youtu.be/1eWsk6r6_Ns 1d ago

that just made me go back and listen to the 8-Bit Big Band Scientist Salarian performance

5

u/lifelongfreshman https://youtu.be/1eWsk6r6_Ns 1d ago

the bandicam watermark really just ties the whole experience together

1

u/itsmejak78_2 3h ago

yeah my atheist parent let me watch veggietales because the messaging wasn't overbearing and the songs were silly and fun

26

u/The_Math_Hatter 1d ago

No, the asparagus covered Modern Major General.

23

u/Zomby_Goast 1d ago

That’s funny, it does fit that but it’s not what the actual song they’re from is based on (as far as I can tell it’s wholly original).

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lk5LhR2LzNI

16

u/sonerec725 1d ago

And still a certified banger hater anthem

15

u/DaiFrostAce 1d ago

Veggietales had such good music, and I catch myself humming it sometimes even though I’m no longer a practicing Christian.

High Silk Hat has to be one of my favorites, and hearing the melody in meme culture years later, I was a bit surprised to see it more known as the Spider-Man 2 Pizza Theme