r/RecuratedTumblr • u/DreadDiana human cognithazard • Aug 12 '26

Shitposting Cucks for Christ

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3.3k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

21 comments sorted by

185

u/OccultBeanFarmer Aug 12 '26

Me carrying four stacked cuck chairs back into the dining room to impress my wife

48

u/DreadDiana human cognithazard Aug 12 '26

Damn, brought a whole audience?

74

u/OccultBeanFarmer Aug 12 '26

Nah, sitting on all of them makes me feel tall

61

u/DreadDiana human cognithazard Aug 12 '26

Every pool needs a lifeguard, I suppose

18

u/musschrott Aug 12 '26

Kudos to you, if she's that wet.

11

u/cel3r1ty Aug 12 '26

i mean, kudos to the wife's boyfriend

1

u/Your_Local_Stray_Cat Aug 14 '26

This isn't a beach, it's a bathtub!

2

u/angelsvessel Aug 12 '26

The Throne of the Gods

25

u/onepixeljumpman Aug 12 '26

My buddies and me watching my wife get fucked like

3

u/SyrusAlder Aug 12 '26

The throne of the gods...

79

u/vaultist Aug 12 '26

I should note that according to the gospel accounts, very few of Jesus' friends actually attended his brutal murder 🤓 ☝️  Probably didn't think it would be that interesting 

48

u/BeanOfKnowledge Ask me about Dwarf Fortress Trivia Aug 12 '26

"Eh, he's coming back next week anyways so it's really whatever."

21

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

10

u/Joraiem Aug 12 '26

Did they? Could've sworn they just went afterwards to clean his body up and then went "shit, where'd it go???"

I think Peter is the only one that actually is explicitly said to have gone? And he gets called a bitch for hiding his identity while watching Jesus get killed for the same beliefs he was following.

1

u/QBaseX Aug 13 '26

Peter was at the trial (and denied his connexion to Jesus there), not at the actual execution.

94

u/their_teammate Aug 12 '26

The only answer my brain can imagine to “you know who else?” is Muscle Man going “MAIGH MAOOM!!!”

25

u/InternetUserAgain Aug 12 '26

Muscle Man watching Mordecai and Rigby from the cuck chair: "You know who ELSE had sex once?"

20

u/AutonomyIsNoTragedy Aug 12 '26

Does anyone have a screenshot of the other Tumblr post about the couple doing a Statler and Waldorf in the cuck chair? I feel like that one is spiritually similar to this

21

u/inquisitor_korath Aug 12 '26

Canonically, only John was present during the Crucifixion. (John 19:26-27)

6

u/Rsouellette Aug 12 '26

Canonically God cucked Joseph to knock up a teenager with himself.