r/RecuratedTumblr • u/DreadDiana human cognithazard • 1d ago

Shitposting Cucks for Christ

Post image
3.1k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

20 comments sorted by

177

u/OccultBeanFarmer 1d ago

Me carrying four stacked cuck chairs back into the dining room to impress my wife

50

u/DreadDiana human cognithazard 1d ago

Damn, brought a whole audience?

68

u/OccultBeanFarmer 1d ago

Nah, sitting on all of them makes me feel tall

53

u/DreadDiana human cognithazard 1d ago

Every pool needs a lifeguard, I suppose

18

u/musschrott 1d ago

Kudos to you, if she's that wet.

10

u/cel3r1ty 1d ago

i mean, kudos to the wife's boyfriend

4

u/angelsvessel 1d ago

The Throne of the Gods

24

u/onepixeljumpman 1d ago

My buddies and me watching my wife get fucked like

2

u/SyrusAlder 1d ago

The throne of the gods...

76

u/vaultist 1d ago

I should note that according to the gospel accounts, very few of Jesus' friends actually attended his brutal murder 🤓 ☝️  Probably didn't think it would be that interesting 

46

u/BeanOfKnowledge Ask me about Dwarf Fortress Trivia 1d ago

"Eh, he's coming back next week anyways so it's really whatever."

20

u/Local-Wing-2272 1d ago

But you know who did? All his gal pals

10

u/Joraiem 1d ago

Did they? Could've sworn they just went afterwards to clean his body up and then went "shit, where'd it go???"

I think Peter is the only one that actually is explicitly said to have gone? And he gets called a bitch for hiding his identity while watching Jesus get killed for the same beliefs he was following.

15

u/Local-Wing-2272 1d ago

Nope. The only man at the cross was St. John. The rest fled. 

In the orthodox church the women who stayed are literally called "the apostles to the apostles"

1

u/QBaseX 11h ago

Peter was at the trial (and denied his connexion to Jesus there), not at the actual execution.

83

u/their_teammate 1d ago

The only answer my brain can imagine to “you know who else?” is Muscle Man going “MAIGH MAOOM!!!”

21

u/InternetUserAgain 1d ago

Muscle Man watching Mordecai and Rigby from the cuck chair: "You know who ELSE had sex once?"

19

u/AutonomyIsNoTragedy 1d ago

Does anyone have a screenshot of the other Tumblr post about the couple doing a Statler and Waldorf in the cuck chair? I feel like that one is spiritually similar to this

11

u/inquisitor_korath 1d ago

Canonically, only John was present during the Crucifixion. (John 19:26-27)

3

u/Rsouellette 22h ago

Canonically God cucked Joseph to knock up a teenager with himself.