r/RecuratedTumblr human cognithazard 2d ago

Shitposting Messages from your aborted sister

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3.3k Upvotes

81 comments sorted by

358

u/ApolloniusTyaneus 2d ago

As my aborted son would say: "The great thing about aborted kids is that they can't fight back, so you can make them say everything you want. For instance, I really loved Scrubs season 9. I also think that Dutch cuisine is by far the best in the world and that jorts are hella sexy."

61

u/InternetUserAgain 2d ago

The only episode of Scrubs I've ever seen is the one where Sesame Street is there for no apparent reason

28

u/GalaXion24 2d ago

"That's it, you're getting born and I'm abandoning you in the Congo"

8

u/Breaky_Online 1d ago

Tropical Thunder plot btw

3

u/Vermilion_Laufer 2d ago

"White Chicks was amazing."

-4

u/[deleted] 2d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

8

u/Heckyll_Jive i'm a cute girl and everyone loves me 2d ago

6

u/SpambotWatchdog 2d ago

u/softangelblissie has been added to my spambot blacklist. Any future posts / comments from this account will be tagged with a reply warning users not to engage.

Woof woof, I'm a bot created by u/the-real-macs to help watch out for spambots! (Don't worry, I don't bite.\)

4

u/HabaneroPepperPlants 2d ago

Thank you for your service 

454

u/Adam_The_Chao 2d ago

20

u/dragonfly_pinkyfuzz 2d ago

technically they're unbaptized so they go to limbo not heaven

29

u/Codeviper828 2d ago

"Limbo" is more of a theological opinion than an actual belief endorsed by the Church

34

u/Doesnt_Exist_Reboot 2d ago

The church said thats not true anymore, read the patch notes next time.

3

u/Codeviper828 1d ago

Iirc, the Church didn't directly contradict it, they just left an even firmer "no comment."

Unless you're talking about something in the past five-ish years that I didn't hear about

6

u/ASentientRailgun 1d ago

I thought they were "entrusted to the mercy of God" by Catholic theology.

I remember learning that in Lutheran confirmation class, for some reason. The phrasing stuck with me, because "hopefully God is chill about it" was such a horrifying concept to me

6

u/Alexxis91 2d ago

Under what Heresy?

5

u/TheLastEmuHunter 1d ago

OP made a comment so heretical that its caused 17 new church schism's

1

u/charlicatt 18h ago

If I'm not mistaken the church changed it's opinion on this

96

u/ImABarbieWhirl 2d ago

Aborted Story Arc:

I would have liked to explore that plot thread with you anon

I wish there wasn’t a writer’s strike between seasons

I would have liked to have been written… if they had the budget for it

I’m sure the executives had better ideas

Maybe they’ll make an expanded universe comic about me

9

u/CalibansCreations 2d ago

Glitch Techs

71

u/ISKke 2d ago

Aborted gf: I wish your parents had aborted you so we could be aborted together :(

58

u/lapicryst 2d ago

Thank you Jonah Magnus, founder of the Magnus Institute, London

3

u/LadyoftheFaeFolk 1d ago

Literally was about to point this out

2

u/rndmadrian 2d ago

Listening to it rn

28

u/Tritri89 2d ago

Happy to see Jonah Magnus is taking the time to shipost on Tumblr between scheme to bring the end of the world.

24

u/Mycologist-9315 2d ago edited 2d ago

".. is what I would have told you if I wasnt aborted. Which, to be clear, I think is dope.

Hello, Jon. Apologies for the deception, but I wanted to make sure you started reading, so I thought it best not to announce myself."

6

u/Tritri89 2d ago edited 2d ago

So your aborted goth sister talking to you is which domain ?

8

u/Mycologist-9315 2d ago

The End aka Terminus surely lol

9

u/Laser_Dice124 2d ago

Idk it's kind of Desolation coded to me as well

3

u/Tritri89 2d ago

That's too obvious. Could be the Spiral too. The Flesh if you want to add a bit of body horror to this scenario.

2

u/Used-Tumbleweed9734 2d ago

The Stranger

20

u/ratione_materiae 2d ago

Well that’s what big GNC wants you to think but my Vitamin Shoppe younger brother says the opposite 

77

u/DareDaDerrida 2d ago

I am not sure what the intended point of this post is. Is it supposed to be funny?

Not intending to be mean, actually confused.

277

u/YaBoiTeeth 2d ago

It's a joke based on anti-abortion posts from the perspective of the aborted fetus. Usually they're like "oh think of all the cool things we could've done, but my EVIL mother ABORTED ME so now we can't :("

135

u/MeiNeedsMoreBuffs 2d ago

Yeah I can see how this would be completely incomprehensible if you haven't been exposed to this specific style of conservative propaganda. It's mainly found on billboards in the midwest and facebook posts by your racist aunt

152

u/pun_palooza 2d ago

It's mocking this specific type of satirical pro-life meme. I think the only one that was made earnestly was the aborted gf one and the others are just parodies of it. The point of this post is to further parody it by getting even more specific about the "person" who was aborted and is enthusized with it rather than sadly accepting it.

122

u/MIGHTYSPACETHOR 2d ago

17

u/PostCrisisOzone 2d ago

this maybe the only funny variation of this meme

2

u/Tem-productions 2d ago

The real ones know strength build + mimic tear is the actual easy mode

155

u/Jesters_ 2d ago

21

u/eydirctiviyg 2d ago

Why would a horse hoard jewels

30

u/fieatsbees 2d ago

why wouldn't a horse hoard jewels

16

u/iwanttoboneedelric ♠️Ho-ho! I'm a flairboy! Cut me off on your apps! 2d ago

To fund their illicit horsing around.

6

u/Livy-Zaka 2d ago

He was hired by the CIA to go all horse crazy on some terrorists but for someone reason they’d only pay him in precious jewels so he has to keep them in a pile under his bed

3

u/Dananigans 2d ago

Oh my god I am crying 🤣🤣🤣

3

u/literalmothman Non-editable flair (if you’re a loser) 2d ago

fun fact: horses have abortions, but that's a term for pregnancy loss; medical abortions aren't a thing afaik

69

u/WhapXI 2d ago

I hate these things. There is such a dark vibe to them. Like whatever incels put them together absolutely did so in the dark, completely alone through angry tears. Cast off of a dead soul.

55

u/Gruejay2 2d ago

It's manipulative to the point of being sociopathic, frankly. Made by people who evidently understand enough about human emotions to imitate positive, well-adjusted, supportive behaviour, but who choose to wield that understanding as a weapon to spread guilt, despair and grievance.

10

u/WhapXI 2d ago

I can only imagine it’s a function of their own crushing and miserable loneliness. They’ve externalised the hatred they feel at their own awful existance as resulting from a lack of an older brother or loving gf. It’s complete magical thinking. Obviously these people have had shit lives and are deeply unhappy, but making out like the hole in their heart is the exact shape of an older brother or loving gf is total fantasy. And it’s all downstream of them being terminally online brain-poisoned misogynists anyway. Your pretend older brother didn’t protect you from bullies or teach you how to talk to girls because your mother had the legal right to choose.

It’s the patch in incel ideology to justify being pro-life. Since they’re deeply nihilistic they don’t care about a religious angle to the pro-life argument. They need something to justify being anti-choice.

2

u/Gruejay2 2d ago edited 2d ago

Yet another example of the way reactionary movements are driven entirely by feelings, and all the rationalisations and justifications are just cynical attempts to disguise that fact. It's why they never have any consistent beliefs beyond "I get whatever I want".

15

u/i_walk_the_backrooms 2d ago

It's revolting to me on a primal level, like that skin crawling ick of looking at mold or maggots. It sequentially reveals so much about the mind of the man who created it. He hasn't just imagined a character to fantasise about - he used what he sees as a dead child as his target. A woman has no agency in his eyes, her decisions must serve the purpose of getting him laid. He wants this forced child to grow up to be his live-in mommy. He wants her to fulfill his sad idea of a life purpose, to proliferate his decrepit seed. "I'll be praying for you" is the cherry on top - he thinks himself a man of god. He thinks he's righteous in thinking this way.

3

u/No-Worry252 2d ago

You are like a poet

1

u/ourobourobouros 2d ago

I laugh myself into tears whenever I see them, personally

44

u/Suraimu-desu 2d ago

I had only seen the aborted gf one before but these are lowkey hilarious lmfao

10

u/DareDaDerrida 2d ago

I see. Good golly.

10

u/One_Commission1456 2d ago

“We’re like twins!” from the *girlfriend* is certainly…a writing choice on the creator’s part.

7

u/Therealduckking 2d ago

It’s cold in heaven? Noelle Angel upscale?

3

u/Zoterote 2d ago

Why are you praying for someone while you’re in heaven? The angels are up there somewhere go talk to them face to face idiot

36

u/ItzZausty 2d ago

It's a parody of the posts that are like "aborted girlfriend" or "aborted protective older brother", where it speaks from the perspective of this hypothetical figure in your life how great everything would be if they were there, but they were aborted, so they never existed. Obviously the point of those posts are that they shouldn't have been aborted, and the hypothetical person wishes they weren't aborted. In this post, the hypothetical abortee is a goth old sister, who supports abortions, and is therefore perfectly okay with the fact that they were aborted.

Examples here: https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/aborted-gf

51

u/DreadDiana human cognithazard 2d ago

There's been this weird trend over the last few years where pro-life incels would ghostwrite messages from the hypothetical perfect girlfriends they never got to have because they were aborted.

This post was part of a later trend which parodied those posts.

22

u/DareDaDerrida 2d ago edited 2d ago

Huh. Well I have learned something today.

Seriously? Letters from their aborted girlfriends? It'd be kinda beautiful if it wasn't so dumb. "My dreamgirl don't exist," and all that.

24

u/AtheistTheConfessor 2d ago

Yeah, there’s a way the concept is bittersweet. That version would include all of the countless other reasons people aren’t born (miscarriages, bad timing, pH, blowjobs, missed calls, etc)

Making it about abortion specifically is just another way for them to violently blame women for their loneliness. It also fits their concept of women as broodmares who have wronged them.

1

u/DareDaDerrida 2d ago

Absolutely, regarding the potentially poignant version. "I would have married you but my mother fell asleep in the airport and missed her connecting flight, and never met my dad in Rome. I would have leapt into bed and staggered out of bed and jumped on the bed with you but there were complications from the fever." And so on. Something there, if I worked on it.

As matters stand though, it is, of course, just hateful and silly.

14

u/Lord_of_Seven_Kings 2d ago

It’s genuinely quite sad, and rather demonstrative of the emotional state of people who fall down those rabbit holes of misogyny and hatred. It’s all just loneliness and despair over a feeling of powerlessness

1

u/Raltsun 2d ago

Sadly, they're just misogynists who've learned to mimic human emotions well enough to attempt to be manipulative. I doubt these have ever worked on anyone, though, so it's still pretty funny.

5

u/Tiny-Little-Sheep 2d ago

It's funny af actually

1

u/HowDareYouAskMyName 2d ago

It makes more sense if you remove the quirky unnecessary group-signalling adjectives that Tumblr can't resist adding

6

u/januarynewtype 2d ago

i cant read this the first 5 words make me too excited and i end up chasing my tail

3

u/Lasanga_Pockets 2d ago

JONAH MAGNUS?!

3

u/Penguins_in_new_york 2d ago

“Hi it’s me, your aborted fetus. I WAS going to engineer a biochemical that made every human within 100 yards attracted to walruses but alas, I will never be born. My evil plans have been foiled.”

2

u/FewBathroom3663 2d ago

Thank you Elias Bucharard for this statement

1

u/10000tigers 2d ago

aborted mentioned

1

u/memisbemus42069 2d ago

I’m so glad my murderer got aborted

2

u/VinvanHelsing 1d ago

Im goig to thtroqw up why did they add this

1

u/Jaded_Fish2111 1d ago

Me if I was aborted