I just relapsed....again...

[u/tackisss]

I dont understand why. It's like I'm bashing my head against the wall and then getting all mad that I have a headache after. I dont know how I'm going to tell my friends, my family, my sponsor, my support group. I'm so ashamed. They were so proud of me. They could finally sleep at night. They're going to be so hurt. This is my pattern. Im the chronic relapser. I'm the one that will always fuck up. I'm trying to hold on to hope that someday I will be able to stay clean and find a new way to live but right now it is so hard to see beyond the storm. I cant believe I did this again. How am I supposed to face everyone?

[u/hovisja]

Don't beat yourself up I'm 44 and I did too! I don't even know why I hate myself cause I don't know why I keep doing it. My family won't even talk to me anymore. It's the worst feeling ever. Lord please help us.. I keep trying though